Say Hello to My “little” Friend

There comes a point in every relationship when you have to introduce a third party to spice things up. For some of the more freakier people out there (okay, lets not judge them; lets call them “adventurous”), this may mean bringing another man or woman into the bedroom. Some people like/need to watch porn to get their rocks off. For others, electronic devices seem to do the trick.

I’ll never forget the day I was introduced to a vibrator. It was light yellow, about 8 – 9 inches long, and looked like a missile. It also belonged to one of my best friend’s mother, who was from the Gambia.

“Come to my parent’s room,” said Issa. “I want to show you something.”

In my experience, going to one’s own parent’s room was dangerous enough, but violating the sanctity of another person’s parent’s room was truly taboo.

“Nooo,” I said. “I think I should stay right here.”

“Here” was in the hall; the acceptable place for all visitors in African society.

Issa grabbed my hand and told me to hurry. Her mom would be back soon. We went up the stairs and into the impressively decorated sanctum of Auntie Ida’s room. Issa went into her lingerie drawer and pulled out the missile.

“Look at this!” she whispered loudly. “I can’t believe my parents use one of these!”

I didn’t know what the hell I was looking at, so all I could muster was an “Oh…I see.”

“Do you know what this is?” asked Issa.

A blank look from me. She commanded me to hold it and smell it. I recoiled…because again, I didn’t know what the hell it was, and how useful it might be to her mother.

“It’s a VIBRATOR!” she exclaimed in exasperation.

Still, blankness shadowed my face.

“Ebei! You really don’t know anything, do you?” Her disgust was apparent, and I sensed that I had caused an anti-climatic end to minutes of plotting and planning on her behalf. She put the vibrator back in the draw and pushed me out the door.

Years later, I attended a Pure Romance party with some friends and was introduced to ‘The Liberator’…a purple, latex electronic penis that instantly caused a stir and wetness in my pants on sight. After gingerly rubbing my hands over the head of, El Liberator I passed him/it on to the lady to the left of me. Suddenly, I was taken back to Auntie Ida’s room to that fateful day in 1992. I also thought of Uncle Ahmed. He was a big, impressively built fellow, but did he lack skill in bed? Was his dick small, despite his large physique? Did Auntie Ida have to “finish the job” herself in the bathroom with her yellow vibrator in order to reach a climax? Or worse yet…did the vibrator belong to Uncle Ahmed???? No, no…he was a strict Muslim and would never…Or would he?

I don’t know what the dynamics of relationship between Auntie Ida, Uncle Ahmed and the little yellow missile were, but for my own part, I’m considering bringing the Liberator home to see how my husband would feel about it. Does that make a freak? 30 years ago, maybe; but today, hardly.

Does anybody else out there have a “little friend” you’re considering bringing to the party? I want to know!