Comments on: Guest Contributor Darian: Good Christian Girls Don’t Have Sex… http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html We think there is a serious lack of relevant and useful information about the sexuality of African women. This blog is a space for African women to share tips, experiences and more... Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:54:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: medoafia http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html#comment-2041 medoafia Wed, 21 Jul 2010 10:03:03 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=214#comment-2041 I am a virgin and hopeful would want to remain one till i marry. I have chosen to be one mainly because of my faith and all the side issues of not doing it with the right guy, and what if i am not good. Until i read this post i didn't know most people try to abstain even when they have done it because the impression i have been getting lately is that most guys ( if not all) would choose a girl who is not a virgin because of experience issues and stuff. And there is also the question of '' what happens when you marry and you are not sexually compatible with your partner?'' these makes me think then whats the point in remaining a virgin till i get married. I hope those who married as virgins can share their views on this. I am a virgin and hopeful would want to remain one till i marry. I have chosen to be one mainly because of my faith and all the side issues of not doing it with the right guy, and what if i am not good.
Until i read this post i didn’t know most people try to abstain even when they have done it because the impression i have been getting lately is that most guys ( if not all) would choose a girl who is not a virgin because of experience issues and stuff.
And there is also the question of ” what happens when you marry and you are not sexually compatible with your partner?” these makes me think then whats the point in remaining a virgin till i get married.
I hope those who married as virgins can share their views on this.

]]> By: Abuja miss http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html#comment-2020 Abuja miss Thu, 08 Jul 2010 00:42:59 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=214#comment-2020 Thanks for this post. I am in my early twenties and a virgin too. I'm dating the most amazing christian guy who is non a virgin (lost his as a teenager but been celibate since). We cuddle and kiss but no sex (in any form). There is so much more to being a good Christian but also I'm celibate/ waiting til marriage because of other reasons: stds, emotions, guilt, and being unsure if by boyfriend is the right guy as much as I may or may not love him. I was sceptical entering this blog but thanks Nana for putting posts where different readers can relate to especially those of us living sexless lives. I would love to anonymously guest blog one day :) Thanks for this post. I am in my early twenties and a virgin too.

I’m dating the most amazing christian guy who is non a virgin (lost his as a teenager but been celibate since). We cuddle and kiss but no sex (in any form).

There is so much more to being a good Christian but also I’m celibate/ waiting til marriage because of other reasons: stds, emotions, guilt, and being unsure if by boyfriend is the right guy as much as I may or may not love him.

I was sceptical entering this blog but thanks Nana for putting posts where different readers can relate to especially those of us living sexless lives.

I would love to anonymously guest blog one day :)

]]> By: Darian http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html#comment-1863 Darian Sat, 22 May 2010 15:38:40 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=214#comment-1863 @Adjeley: oh wow - I am guessing it was beyond your wildest dreams to not be able to get it out of your mind :)..... Here's hoping you and God work out the kinks in your relationship soon..... @Adjeley: oh wow – I am guessing it was beyond your wildest dreams to not be able to get it out of your mind :) …..

Here’s hoping you and God work out the kinks in your relationship soon…..

]]> By: Adjeley http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html#comment-1857 Adjeley Thu, 20 May 2010 21:10:44 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=214#comment-1857 I'm good christian girl who was trying to abstain till i met this guy, he made me feel things i had never felt before. The truth is he had actually had sex in his previous relationship. We almost had sex twice but in all the situations i couldn't go through with because i kept thinking of how i would feel after. We technically did not have sex but now i've had a fore taste of what sex could be like and i can't get my mind off it. I'll be 22 this year and I'm at a point where i don't know if i can actually remain a virgin till i'm married. But i know i'm definately no longer pure and my relationship with God is strained... I’m good christian girl who was trying to abstain till i met this guy, he made me feel things i had never felt before. The truth is he had actually had sex in his previous relationship. We almost had sex twice but in all the situations i couldn’t go through with because i kept thinking of how i would feel after. We technically did not have sex but now i’ve had a fore taste of what sex could be like and i can’t get my mind off it. I’ll be 22 this year and I’m at a point where i don’t know if i can actually remain a virgin till i’m married. But i know i’m definately no longer pure and my relationship with God is strained…

]]> By: Darian http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html#comment-1643 Darian Thu, 25 Feb 2010 20:29:16 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=214#comment-1643 @ Kwagara: Abena has said it better than I could ever say it. Thanks for sharing your story. @ Kwagara: Abena has said it better than I could ever say it. Thanks for sharing your story.

]]> By: Kwagara http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html#comment-1609 Kwagara Thu, 18 Feb 2010 21:14:28 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=214#comment-1609 @ Abena: Many many thanks to you. Your words are so empowering! @ Abena:

Many many thanks to you. Your words are so empowering!

]]> By: Abena http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html#comment-1606 Abena Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:17:03 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=214#comment-1606 Wow Kwagara, that's really hard to deal with! I'm sorry to hear that you were molested as a child. I write about molestation on another blog I have, and talk about an uncle of mine who touched and kissed me inappropriately at age 8. We had a helper who tried to rape me at 12, but I fought him off. These both took place in Ghana, where men are supposed to have "high morals" and the blame is often put on little girls. Happily, attitudes are changing now, and we're offering more protection for our young girls. I can't speak for God. Sometimes, awful things happen to good people, and there's no logical explanation as to why. The only persons at fault here are those bastards who raped and molested you, and they will receive their punishment, in this life or the next. In the meantime, we thank God that you're not damaged and that you have been able to find the love of a good man who loves you for the woman you became despite these terrible experiences. Live free girl! :) Wow Kwagara, that’s really hard to deal with! I’m sorry to hear that you were molested as a child. I write about molestation on another blog I have, and talk about an uncle of mine who touched and kissed me inappropriately at age 8. We had a helper who tried to rape me at 12, but I fought him off. These both took place in Ghana, where men are supposed to have “high morals” and the blame is often put on little girls. Happily, attitudes are changing now, and we’re offering more protection for our young girls.

I can’t speak for God. Sometimes, awful things happen to good people, and there’s no logical explanation as to why. The only persons at fault here are those bastards who raped and molested you, and they will receive their punishment, in this life or the next. In the meantime, we thank God that you’re not damaged and that you have been able to find the love of a good man who loves you for the woman you became despite these terrible experiences.

Live free girl! :)

]]> By: Kwagara http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html#comment-1604 Kwagara Thu, 18 Feb 2010 16:32:11 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=214#comment-1604 sorry....I made a mistake (not a virgin)...was supposed to read... Wow, I have found it interesting reading all your views. I must say I have learnt from the post and the comments as well. Nevertheless I must say that there is point that has not been well elaborated so, I decided to write about from my own experience. I´ m not a virgin, and I do not remember having ever been one. I am a Christian girl! sorry….I made a mistake (not a virgin)…was supposed to read…

Wow, I have found it interesting reading all your views. I must say I have learnt from the post and the comments as well.
Nevertheless I must say that there is point that has not been well elaborated so, I decided to write about from my own experience.
I´ m not a virgin, and I do not remember having ever been one. I am a Christian girl!

]]> By: Kwagara http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html#comment-1603 Kwagara Thu, 18 Feb 2010 16:29:31 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=214#comment-1603 Wow, I have found it interesting reading all your views. I must say I have learnt from the post and the comments as well. Nevertheless I must say that there is point that has not been well elaborated so, I decided to write about from my own experience. I´ m a virgin, and I do not remember having ever been one. I am a Christian girl! I do not know whether I regret or not, coz I console myself and say “if the most loving God let it, he probably has a reason!” Was molested as a child, (sad to say , by certain family members!), was raped at 18 by a stranger! Most times I found consolation in God. Then when I got a boyfriend, (my first real boyfriend at 25). I imagine this is the time I would have lost my virginity! So I think I waited long enough! I found it difficult to abstain, especially when I gave God the responsibility of getting molested and raped. It is sometimes difficult for me to see his protection over my sexuality, but many times I still say, look, “you could have acquired AIDS etc!”….but he did protect you. Or maybe, you could have been raped more than once! Overall, I really see God´s love and protection, but there are those few terrible moments when I say, I could have got the chance like the others! Worse still I could never tell my man (Christian or not that I was molested!) …to any man I must appear like the “bad girl”! But how many women find themselves in such situations today? The advice I give the good men out there is if you find your lady was a virgin, give thanks to God, her parents or guardians and even the society. She may not really be much better than all the others. And for my dear ones who Jesus to be proud of them keeping pure, I ma glad you have the zeal…..please go on. But on the other side is a girl woman asking God why he was not there? I think if the later kept herself pure, then she would please God more, since she also always has to find herself “forgiving” God! Wow, I have found it interesting reading all your views. I must say I have learnt from the post and the comments as well.
Nevertheless I must say that there is point that has not been well elaborated so, I decided to write about from my own experience.
I´ m a virgin, and I do not remember having ever been one. I am a Christian girl!
I do not know whether I regret or not, coz I console myself and say “if the most loving God let it, he probably has a reason!”
Was molested as a child, (sad to say , by certain family members!), was raped at 18 by a stranger!
Most times I found consolation in God. Then when I got a boyfriend, (my first real boyfriend at 25). I imagine this is the time I would have lost my virginity! So I think I waited long enough!
I found it difficult to abstain, especially when I gave God the responsibility of getting molested and raped. It is sometimes difficult for me to see his protection over my sexuality, but many times I still say, look, “you could have acquired AIDS etc!”….but he did protect you.
Or maybe, you could have been raped more than once!
Overall, I really see God´s love and protection, but there are those few terrible moments when I say, I could have got the chance like the others! Worse still I could never tell my man (Christian or not that I was molested!) …to any man I must appear like the “bad girl”!

But how many women find themselves in such situations today?
The advice I give the good men out there is if you find your lady was a virgin, give thanks to God, her parents or guardians and even the society. She may not really be much better than all the others.
And for my dear ones who Jesus to be proud of them keeping pure, I ma glad you have the zeal…..please go on. But on the other side is a girl woman asking God why he was not there? I think if the later kept herself pure, then she would please God more, since she also always has to find herself “forgiving” God!

]]> By: Darian http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/10/guest-contributor-darian-good-christian-girls-don%e2%80%99t-have-sex.html#comment-1520 Darian Thu, 21 Jan 2010 20:48:50 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=214#comment-1520 @ Sista – and it takes everyone their own time to figure that out for themselves. That’s just how life is. I am almost 22 and I only just realized it last year and half ago. It took me over 20 years to get it right, and that’s what I was documenting. @ Sista – and it takes everyone their own time to figure that out for themselves. That’s just how life is. I am almost 22 and I only just realized it last year and half ago.
It took me over 20 years to get it right, and that’s what I was documenting.

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