Comments on: Long Distance Relationships: What’s the Point?

By: Nana Darkoa

Nana Darkoa — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 14:27:36 +0000

@Cece – I’m really touched by your comment. I think there is no way around it – you just have to sit down with your man and be totally honest about how you feel. I am sure he also feels some of what you are feeling. Its better to clear the air so you know how to move on – whether you move on with him in your life or not. I’m wishing you all the best. Do let me know how it goes. Hugs, Nana

By: Cece

Cece — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 02:47:22 +0000

I fell i love with the boy(MAN) next door and the next thing I knew he moved across the state (TEXAS).
He assured me over and over before he left that people do this all the time, (LDR) military and career couples alike, and said nothing would change. NOTHING.
Due to the pressures of his present job our communication has gone from 30mph to 2. He also had a room mate that had me wanting to hang up during our conversations as he would constantly barge in on my bf and interrupt us, making us both exasperated.
He has alot on his plate, I must say this is evident, however there have been a few misunderstandings during our conversations which have led to a huge change on his part, and it’s more than obvious.
He has been through this before(LDR) and his ex just weened him from the relationship ( spoke less and less) until it was over. I guess she felt he would do the breaking up in order for her to come out smelling like a rose.
I will see him this weekend but I am clueless as to what will happen next. Im still where we were before he left…and I’m not sure if that’s where he is anymore. He’s very short with me, not loving anymore and just doesnt feel interested in me. I think he feels obligated at this point. I would love to be able to talk to him about it, but he always seems so annoyed, so I just small talk because everything else seems criticized.
How does one decipher between hanging in there during a bad time of someone else’s life or being pushed away?
I’m a loyal woman with my heart in the right place. I feel that you stick by the people that you love unconditionally. I also feel that making sacrifices are things you do when you love someone, and so I am. I just hope that it won’t turn around and bite me. I don’t think that I could handle that right now. It’s taken alot for me to open and trust 100%. And I have completely. I hold in alot.

By: Abena

Abena — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 11:36:14 +0000

I have always wanted a LDR, it gives u ur space and buids the relationship however its a risk. My ex who lived in Gh. could not bear the distance, we brokeup in 2006 he got married just last month, my next LDR lasted for 4 months he also got married in Jan this year. Am in another LDR , there was no cheating in any of these relationships, we all had our space and it gave me the chance to concentrate on my studies.
A man does not only cheat when there’s distance,
LDR builds ur trust and love for each other.

By: Bobbie

Bobbie — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 04:45:00 +0000

I am going to be doing LDR soon and I am dreading it… dunno if I can hold up(no I am not going to cheat on him but I am just not sure how long I can go for without seeing him for months at a time). But my man is a great guy though. We shall see I suppose…

By: Naomi

Naomi — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 21:24:19 +0000

I have been in a LDR for almost a year. I thought our love was stronger than the distance. Boy was I wrong. It was just soo hard to trust that my man was not cheating on me and vice versa. We would talk and email freqently in the beginning but later we grew apart. When we saw each other however, it was so awesome to see each other and it was like we had fallen back in love. But its FRUSTRATING..Wouldn’t do it again. We broke up cuz we cudnt handle the distance. Funny though, cuz we both still love each other and are not dating anyone else. Good luck to those who want to try it…

By: Nana

Nana — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 17:20:23 +0000

@Yanfo – You reckon?

By: Yanfo

Yanfo — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 01:22:05 +0000

You seem to be obsessed with sex.

By: Chrysalis

Chrysalis — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 12:31:36 +0000

My boyfriend and I recently ended (just over) a year long, long-distance relationship. The interesting thing about our situation was that we hadn’t even been dating that long when I had to go overseas for school – 3 months to be exact…

As for the point of long-distance relationships, I don’t believe that the point of any relationship is to only have companionship and good sex. In serious relationships, there is the important element of two building building a life together. I’m not saying that long distance relationships don’t make this hard, but its not near as impossible as many people tend to believe.

For people committed first and foremost to the ‘team’ (i.e. this building of a life together), other things become secondary. I think this is an essential point to reach in any relationship because, like I’m sure we’ve heard before, sex comes and goes and comes back again, in long term relationships. The same goes for that “in-love” feeling.

As for companionship, that comes in many different forms…. and doesn’t necessarily have to be in the physical form (although it’s nicer).

As for why my relationship lasted through 18 months of long distance, I think it was the commitment, the friendship and the lots of skype sex:-)

By: Aba

Aba — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 14:53:27 +0000

Thanks Black Widow, i know women who cheat on their men(yeah women can, and do cheat),….. my opinion is what i think of long distance relationships in terms of if i was the one in such a relationship. ‘an opinion’ not a “myopic” view plus no one needs to be in a long distance relationship in order to cheat

By: Nana

Nana — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 11:23:08 +0000

@Aba – I hear you!

@Ducezphloci – I think you can get dangerously close to someone when you are cyber loving…the reality may not quite match yp

@Black Widow – Lol, I am a woman too so I agree that women can and do cheat. Will write a post on the subject one of these days