Comments on: Guest Contributor Esi W Cleland: Two things you learn about Ghanaian men by walking the streets http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html We think there is a serious lack of relevant and useful information about the sexuality of African women. This blog is a space for African women to share tips, experiences and more... Fri, 10 Sep 2010 01:52:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: naana http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html#comment-1415 naana Thu, 10 Dec 2009 10:24:06 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=243#comment-1415 Same experience walking in new York or new jersey! Same experience walking in new York or new jersey!

]]> By: K'Chie http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html#comment-1384 K'Chie Thu, 03 Dec 2009 03:42:03 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=243#comment-1384 Oh my goodness, this had my sides splitting. I'm not in Ghana often, but sometime ago, the line seemed to be "can I take you as a friend?" And when I would reply that I already had enough friends, or that I won't give them my number, or that I won't call them if they gave me theirs, it was always met with a look of surprise and maybe some hurt. I guess I haven't met the Ghanaian men yet who would hurt me for turning them down so blatantly. Esi, I agree with you on the men who call you from afar and expect you to walk to them. When I was 11-12 I actually went to one of these who had summoned me. In my defense, I thought maybe he knew me or my parents or something (because why else would he call me). "how are you?" "fine". It wasn't until he asked where did I live that I became confused...then realized he was hitting on 11 yo me. It made me feel this small. Never again. Now in adulthood, my experience with that is walking past guys sitting at a bar, or walking on a street and a guy in a car passing by in the opposite direction stops, then calls out, politely though "please, sister, come here, I want to ask you something etc", I just say "no" and continue on my merry way - I can hear them say "oooh, but why ...?. I figure the "please" merits a verbal response. But as to those who call out "sssssss", hmm, for them I'm completely deaf. Oh my goodness, this had my sides splitting. I’m not in Ghana often, but sometime ago, the line seemed to be “can I take you as a friend?” And when I would reply that I already had enough friends, or that I won’t give them my number, or that I won’t call them if they gave me theirs, it was always met with a look of surprise and maybe some hurt.

I guess I haven’t met the Ghanaian men yet who would hurt me for turning them down so blatantly.

Esi, I agree with you on the men who call you from afar and expect you to walk to them. When I was 11-12 I actually went to one of these who had summoned me. In my defense, I thought maybe he knew me or my parents or something (because why else would he call me). “how are you?” “fine”. It wasn’t until he asked where did I live that I became confused…then realized he was hitting on 11 yo me. It made me feel this small. Never again. Now in adulthood, my experience with that is walking past guys sitting at a bar, or walking on a street and a guy in a car passing by in the opposite direction stops, then calls out, politely though “please, sister, come here, I want to ask you something etc”, I just say “no” and continue on my merry way – I can hear them say “oooh, but why …?. I figure the “please” merits a verbal response. But as to those who call out “sssssss”, hmm, for them I’m completely deaf.

]]> By: Edward http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html#comment-1207 Edward Fri, 25 Sep 2009 12:18:31 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=243#comment-1207 Come on gals, men are not that evil. It is an inevitable path men need to to take. And some of you make it sooo difficult. Aaaaaba!!! Come on gals, men are not that evil. It is an inevitable path men need to to take. And some of you make it sooo difficult. Aaaaaba!!!

]]> By: Abena http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html#comment-1001 Abena Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:06:57 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=243#comment-1001 God this was hilarious! I see nothing has changed since 1988 when I walked the streets as a pre-pubescent teen! House boys, garden boys, taxi drivers...it didn't matter. All they saw a 12 year old with a big booty. I used to HATE being sent! God this was hilarious! I see nothing has changed since 1988 when I walked the streets as a pre-pubescent teen! House boys, garden boys, taxi drivers…it didn’t matter. All they saw a 12 year old with a big booty. I used to HATE being sent!

]]> By: Elikem Holdbrookes http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html#comment-1000 Elikem Holdbrookes Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:10:54 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=243#comment-1000 Esi asaa ye biom..[tr:Esi has done it again] I find this post so hilarious and ribs-breaking, especially, "Guy: You can even be walking to Teshie.". He doesn't seems to care where you walking to, all he want to do is; have a word with you. I mean, freeing his mind to you.. Nice post.. !!! Esi asaa ye biom..[tr:Esi has done it again] I find this post so hilarious and ribs-breaking, especially, “Guy: You can even be walking to Teshie.”. He doesn’t seems to care where you walking to, all he want to do is; have a word with you. I mean, freeing his mind to you.. Nice post.. !!!

]]> By: Maameous http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html#comment-999 Maameous Thu, 06 Aug 2009 10:59:25 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=243#comment-999 @Maxine, my grandma said the same thing about my hair. She said i look like obi a, eduro akye no. hehe. And yeah it looks like i lost 3 kg from the walking. Not too safe here though...and after a while, the sss ssss from the men get old :) @Maxine, my grandma said the same thing about my hair. She said i look like obi a, eduro akye no. hehe.

And yeah it looks like i lost 3 kg from the walking. Not too safe here though…and after a while, the sss ssss from the men get old :)

]]> By: Maameous http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html#comment-998 Maameous Thu, 06 Aug 2009 10:54:46 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=243#comment-998 @Kajsa, you ask a good question. Why didn't I just tell him I didn't want to give him my number? I guess I didn't because I didn't want to be rude. Or because I know he would have asked me why? One time when a guy called me and I didn't go, he said it was very rude and proceeded to ask me...wo nyE Obaa? Na Obaa deE, EnyE bEEma a, na ObEfrE wo (tr: are you not a woman? and as a woman, is it not men who will make advances at you?). Maybe it's just easier to lie and get on with life...or maybe i'm not as confrontational as i like to think. Judging from the Preacher's wife's response...maybe we really want to be seen to be nice girls. Afterall we are. lol. No one wants to be the "too known" girl or the "rude girl" ...but i wonder why. It's not like just because some man by the roadside thinks you're rude means you are, right? @Kajsa, you ask a good question. Why didn’t I just tell him I didn’t want to give him my number? I guess I didn’t because I didn’t want to be rude. Or because I know he would have asked me why? One time when a guy called me and I didn’t go, he said it was very rude and proceeded to ask me…wo nyE Obaa? Na Obaa deE, EnyE bEEma a, na ObEfrE wo (tr: are you not a woman? and as a woman, is it not men who will make advances at you?). Maybe it’s just easier to lie and get on with life…or maybe i’m not as confrontational as i like to think.

Judging from the Preacher’s wife’s response…maybe we really want to be seen to be nice girls. Afterall we are. lol. No one wants to be the “too known” girl or the “rude girl” …but i wonder why. It’s not like just because some man by the roadside thinks you’re rude means you are, right?

]]> By: Preacher's Wife http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html#comment-991 Preacher's Wife Wed, 05 Aug 2009 17:35:35 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=243#comment-991 Hilarious post. I love it! I think I will try to be straight with a guy for once and see. I usually play the "I don't have a phone" card, but I am sure I will be immediately branded "too known" if I said what I really thought (when has that stopped me?). I've had a lot of these experiences and it always starts with, "sss. Sister, sister" and then becomes "heh, small girl" (I'm a small woman). Both titles very unattractive and slightly creepy in the context of "love advances." Hilarious post. I love it! I think I will try to be straight with a guy for once and see. I usually play the “I don’t have a phone” card, but I am sure I will be immediately branded “too known” if I said what I really thought (when has that stopped me?).

I’ve had a lot of these experiences and it always starts with, “sss. Sister, sister” and then becomes “heh, small girl” (I’m a small woman). Both titles very unattractive and slightly creepy in the context of “love advances.”

]]> By: Kofi Ametewee http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html#comment-989 Kofi Ametewee Wed, 05 Aug 2009 12:07:54 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=243#comment-989 @Kajsa, In Ghana, that kind of direct rebuff only emboldens the wrong guy. Better to play it safe with the white lie, I would think. @Kajsa,

In Ghana, that kind of direct rebuff only emboldens the wrong guy. Better to play it safe with the white lie, I would think.

]]> By: Kajsa http://adventuresfrom.com/2009/07/29/guest-contributor-esi-w-cleland-two-things-you-learn-about-ghanaian-men-by-walking-the-streets.html#comment-985 Kajsa Tue, 04 Aug 2009 00:27:44 +0000 http://adventuresfrom.com/?p=243#comment-985 What I find strange is that women who normally "tell it like it is" will refrain from doing so when bothered by men. Why say "I dont have a phone" when you mean "I dont give my number to strangers and I will not take yours since I have no intention of calling you" ? Lets make it very clear when we women are not playing any games, but just talking a walk. Cause some conning men might have their minds clouded by alcohol even very early in the morning.... What I find strange is that women who normally “tell it like it is” will refrain from doing so when bothered by men.

Why say “I dont have a phone” when you mean “I dont give my number to strangers and I will not take yours since I have no intention of calling you” ?

Lets make it very clear when we women are not playing any games, but just talking a walk. Cause some conning men might have their minds clouded by alcohol even very early in the morning….

]]>