Guest Contributor Ms S on: Giving and Enjoying Blow Jobs

Blow job, fellatio, head, or whatever else you choose to call it, why do African women hardly talk about it? Growing up, the reactions from my fellow African women in regards to giving blow jobs ran the gamut from “Eww! Good girls don’t do that” to “I’ve been thinking about trying that but I don’t really know what to do.” Now since I haven’t conducted any kind of extensive research on the subject, I’ll just have to assume that African women are doing it somewhere, even if we’re not talking about it. So, purely from my point of view, here’s a little something for those who live in the “I’ve been thinking about that but I don’t really really know what to do” camp.

Firstly, don’t attempt to give a blow job half-heartedly. If you don’t want to do it, then just don’t. Secondly, moisture is always a good thing. Ladies, just as a wet finger feels better on the clitoris, the wetter the penis the better. Now, you have an erect penis in your hands; don’t be afraid to tease a little. Kiss the head, run your nails (gently) up and down the shaft. Once you decide to take the penis into your mouth, make sure it remains nice and wet. Don’t attempt to “deep-throat” straight away (or at all). Try to keep your teeth covered with your lips. The hands can be used as an extension to the mouth as you suck up and down the shaft. Enjoy the feel of his skin in your mouth. Once you get more comfortable, you can also rotate the hands in opposite directions in a gentle “twisting” motion whilst pumping the shaft as you run your tongue over and around the head. The area where the head of the penis meets the shaft (frenulum) is very sensitive and as you progress, you can concentrate more and more on that area. Try to vary from a simple “up and down” motion. Twist your head, approach the penis from different angles, vary your speed, use your teeth to (GENTLY!) graze the head of the penis- whatever comes to mind. If your mouth becomes tired, try not to interrupt the rhythm and use your hands more instead. Don’t ignore the balls either. Again, you can run your fingers up and down them. You can take them into your mouth and suck gently, either one at a time, or together. As the man gets nearer and nearer to climaxing, focus more and more on the head of the penis. Suck harder while running your tongue around the frenulum. You can work your tongue into the hole in his penis. If you don’t want the man to come in your mouth, now would be the time to concentrate on making him come with just your hands. However, if you don’t mind him coming in your mouth, you can gently press down at the base of his penis in a “milking” motion as he comes. Don’t stop sucking as he comes as this will help to intensify the feeling of climax. What you do with the ejaculate, swallow or spit, is entirely up to you.

I refuse to see the giving of a blow job as a subservient act. You hold the man’s pleasure in your hands (literally). It’s a powerful position to be in. Don’t be afraid to abuse it! (Joking! Kind of….)