Comments on: Cheaters, Dating Girls and Men Who You Don’t Fancy

By: Kofi Ametewee

Kofi Ametewee — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:04:58 +0000

Think about it, Nana K, there’s no concept of cheating as being out of bounds in Ghana. De facto, for sure. No one really truly expects anything like fidelity, man or woman. Goes against the grain of our culture. Your logic is right, but the motivation ain’t. We’re like what the Japanese are reputed to be like. As one woman reputedly said, ‘etwee die y’en fa embo etrimodin!’

By: Nana Kofi

Nana Kofi — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:42:33 +0000

I must add that looking at the first question again, I can’t help noticing the hypocrisy of it (no hard feelings here Nana).

What I want to say is considering that 90 something % of all Ghanaian males are heterosexual, it is obvious that every man who cheats, has a woman as a partner in crime. The main difference is that where as Ghanaian women are excellent at keeping it hush-hush, Ghanaian men are just the opposite.

WOW, anybody who thinks Ghanaian men are worse than Ghanaian women doesn’t live in this country, doesn’t know our history, doesn’t socialize well enough, and isn’t naughty enough.

Let’s do a simple math here. One Ghanaian man has had sex (cheated) with 20 women. That is twenty women having sex. Don’t tell me none of these twenty women has a boyfriend, husband or is considered a virgin by some ignoramus.

I must fully agree with hotbabe that more Ghanaian women are cheating or having sex than Ghanaian men but they keep it hush hush.

By: hotbabe

hotbabe — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 09:57:01 +0000

i think, you can avoid cheating if you want to. you know these days many women are cheating as a pay back time for the men. the rate at which women are cheating outnumbers the number of men who cheat. why cheat on your partner if you don’t love him anymore? just call it quits and move on to a more exciting relationship. for me, i will not cheat if i get tired of you, i will call it quits. i think the case is a bit different if you are married, but then again, it shouldn’t be because, we are in our society brought up to believe its not good to divorce, so u find the women unhappy in the relationship but left with no alternative but to cheat. who said its wrong to divorce, if the fire in the relationship has gone down, and you can’t let come high, just walk out out of the relationship and try to fall in love again, i tell you buddies, it will help reduce cheating.

By: Kofi Ametewee

Kofi Ametewee — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:54:29 +0000

Nana D, the not-so-discerning ones accept our view of their idealized image. My theory is supported by numerous studies, including that from the South Hamptons Institute of Theosophy! :p

By: Mike

Mike — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:29:34 +0000

Yes, I believe they do. Same applies to women that cheat too. The men give them reason to do so. It’s really not just another excuse.
Lets say you have a kid and he goes to the neighbor’s to play very often. You find out he is out there mooching chocolate off them all the time.
How will you get him to quit that? Give him as much chocolate the way he likes it at home. That is what I’d do.
Men have a lower threshold for excitement than women do. Meaning it doesn’t take much for a man to get excited & ready to chop bad. All he needs is to see something he likes. Women require a little more stimulation than just the visual. [That is one reason men sleep around at the drop of a dime and women typically don’t. I used “sleep around” instead of cheat bcos that definition varies for guys & gals.]

EK’s lady gets that 51% credit bcos she had proven to him that her chocolate supply never runs out, and he remembered despite the heat at that conference. She run tings!!

By: Mz Mensah

Mz Mensah — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:54:09 +0000

I think it is inevitable for most Ghanaian men to cheat! It seems to be a requirement for them to prove their manhood or something. I have seen two generations of my masculine relatives cheat and I’m sadden by the acceptance of the women to this. Why as women should we think it is okay for a man to stray? Ask any Ghanaian woman it is normal for them and that is sad

By: Nana Darkoa

Nana Darkoa — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:28:39 +0000

@Sankofa – I so agree with you about men cheating because women makes excuses for them. True! (at least in my opinion)

@Holli – Awww, 3…oh charle, that is so serious…hmm, I suspect I can also count on one hand the number of faithful Ghanaian men I know

@Kwegyirba – Hahaha, one definitely shouldn’t be gay out of convenience…saying that I do know at least two women that have considered having relationships with women because they’re fed up with men…but like a lot of people are saying lesbian relationships also have their own drama

@Nana Kofi – See my response to Holli above, you are one of those men I can count on one hand

@Kosy – Why do you think I am biting more than I can chew. I am not biting at all

@Mike – Do women really give men an excuse to cheat? Isn’t that just another excuse by men?

@Nsoromma – It is definitely not in their DNA but in their socialisation

@Kofi – Howdy? Really interesting comment on idealized images…not getting the point about the not so discerning ones getting divorced. Say more please?

@EK – I take it that you haven’t introduced your girlfriend to this blog Hmm, conferences and its infinite possibilities for naughtiness. Maybe a post on the subject is needed

@Mike- Lol, to whom do you give 51% of the credit

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:13:34 +0000

EK, give your girlfriend Hi-5! for me. I dig that she’s made herself worth a lot to you.
(I give you 49% of the credit for not sucumbing)

By: EK

EK — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:18:29 +0000

1. I had a close shave two weeks ago when I was in a three-day conference at a hotel. An old lady friend who works there had not seen me in a while, and we got to talking. There was and clearly is an attraction between us, but when it came down to the wire and we were discussing our lives, I had to tell her that I was with someone. She was disappointed, but she seems okay that we are friends. Cheating is a choice. I could have hid the fact that I have a girlfriend and had a romp with her. The heat was too much between us! But I chose not to. Thankfully, she is a good girl, too!!

2. it is difficult to say and I am too lazy this side of the afternoon to cogitate over why women cheat. Is it congenital? Again, women cheat out of choices. There are many women going through bad marriages who would not consider cheating. What makes them special? Their CHOICE not to cheat and the latent love for their partner. Did I say it is about choice?

3. we should just all have heterosexual relationships so that we can continue to make the planet explode. Given the way humankind likes to get their groove on, the planet might not be able to accommodate. Seriously, I am a Christian, and I believe in heterosexual relationships. Same sex exist because society has taken liberalism to the deep end. I do not hate same-sex couples as they are children of God, but I would far from encourage it. Hell no!

4. am I a mind-reader? a-den??

By: Kofi Ametewee

Kofi Ametewee — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:31:16 +0000

No, not inevitable. I don’t cheat when i’m in a ‘relationship,’ but when i’m not, i have no limit on the number of sexual partners i choose to have. when i’m not in a relationship, sex has a different meaning and motivation. i think the idea of unbridled guilt-free sexual pleasure from multiple liaisons is a much more difficult thing to attain than i originally believed it would be. meaning that i find relationship sex more rewarding, but the compatibility issues make settling into that more dicey. In investment terms, relationships seem to be riskier and also more rewarding.

i assume that women are free independent-minded beings and do whatever they do out of that state of consciousness.

should women date other women? on the face of it, most women seem to prefer dating men. should they switch preferences? yeah, it would be instructive… :p

i don’t fancy guys (ok, i’m a guy, kofi is not a nom de plume). we have idealized images of what would make us complete and fulfilled. the smart people on the other side of our idealized images realize that they can’t live up to these idealized images, and turn us down, the not-so-discerning ones get divorced.