That being said, I always am ready to foot my bill (and sometimes his) cuz I like the feeling of being independent. I’ve been with guys who wait on me to reach for my purse AND let me pay(thats usually the last date if he is healthy and not broke) and others who get mad when I reach for my purse, like its insulting. So i guess you need to judge the situation accordingly. But then guys want to show they care by practical things like TAKING CARE of the bill and they should.

That, in addition to a seminar on skin bleaching at my job, made me wonder about what is considered “beautiful” in Ghanaian culture. It might make for an interesting discussion here. You’ve written about appreciation of body, but perhaps appreciation of other physical aspects? Who knows?

Either way, just wanted to hear about your experiences with your locs (while living in Ghana).

Either way…as “progressive” as I claim to be, I like it when the man takes it upon himself to pay. However, I don’t mind treating the guy sometimes, too.

Ps. I think this is my first comment since you guys changed websites/domains, but I still check you out. Hope you both are well.

I’m used to paying on dates. It is almost at the point of habitual. There have been a few times when I have had to either apologize or kick myself for picking up the bill. These moments are:

1. When by my paying, the girl assumes my real intention is to get to have sex with her. This is quite common with models and some start giving you serious green or amber lights or they start to sporadically talk about their boyfriends.. Of course, not all models are like that. I mentioned models because I hang out with quite a lot of them.

2. When the girl assumes I am one of those idiots who don’t know what to do with their money and so quickly throw it at pretty girls. I think the Akan name for such men is “Mr. Otua”.

3. When the girl feels insulted by my gesture. I know for some girls, it is very important that they take the bill or you go dutch. I like to respect people’s feelings but sometimes, I miss the signals and then I go home feeling all bad.

And finally, when the girl is used to me paying and so doesn’t make any attempt to contribute on subsequent dates. I know that no true relationship (it doesn’t matter what kind) can be built on just one side giving and the other side only receiving.

Of course, if you wanted to sell your body for sex you’d probably definitely fetch a higher price, but you will also cross a certain line that you might not want to cross. So, a polite token that seems to even out the scales between man’s unbridled desire and woman’s coyness (more controversy, I know, and I don’t believe this to be true myself).

Personally if I was going to sell my body for sex the price would be much, much, much, higher than the cost of a meal. Aba!