I am what a lot of people call bisexual, or am I?. I am eldest of three sisters
and I have a big brother who is 6yrs older than me. Grew up such a loner,
thought nobody understood me. I was always stuck in a corner somewhere with a
book. By the time I was 11 I had already read Charles Dickens 3 times and all
the Shakespeare I could get my hands on. And yet I was still lonely and alone.
Life started to become some kind of a blur. I went to school, came back. Had my
4 slices of bread with rooibos tea and rondo margarine. I fetched water from
the community tap. Washed my school socks, prepared pots so that my brother
could cook supper, write my homework then go play. When the sun went down I had
to be in the house or I would get a hiding.
I was 11 yrs of age when Zee came to visit the house next to ours. We were on
winter break at school . That normally happens around June in south Afrika.I
remember it as if it was yesterday. One of the memories that are not such a
blur from my childhood. She was dark and had the shortest hair, her hair was
not black cause when I looked harder I could see brown highlights on it and it
made me want to touch it. And I did touch it because I used to love braiding
peoples hair, I still do. This was the conversation I had with my sister the very first day we saw her.
“So there is a girl visiting the Mahlangus did u see her?” asked my sis.
‘Yes” I said. At least I won’t have to play with you guys, there is some
one my age visiting.
We all went to bed eager for morning to come. But alas by morning I had
forgotten all about the new girl, only remembered when my sister whispered in
my ear “ ha se thaka a go le rona re tlo tshameka le ena ”(she is not your
age so its only fair that we all get to play with her)
“How do you know that ” I asked her.
Well she told me she is 14 years old and you are only 11.
I will be 12 in less than 6 months so I am still older than all of you. I will
play with her “I said a little too harshly. My sister and I are 3 years apart so you can guess the kinds of brawls we got into. We fought about everything and I was not about to let her win this one.
So I made it a point to finish my holiday duties on time everyday so I could
hang out with Zee.
Zee became the centre of attention because every girl or boy wanted to play
with her. So after a while I went back to my lonely self. Besides I had a lot
of other things to worry about, I had recently started reading SVH (sweet
valley high) novels and I could not wait to hear about the twins’ boyfriends
and the amazing things they did at their amazing schools. Schools that had
newsletters and computers and all those lovely netball fields and swimming
pools. Yes I had a lot to worry about. The little bumps on my chest were
starting to swell and they were sore, I had white stuff coming out of my
privates. Every morning when I went to the toilet I found the stuff on my
panties and I did not know what to tell mom so I kept quiet about it.
And then there was the itch I got once in a while although it felt like
everyday to me. I heard other gals saying it at school, that if u itch between
your legs then (osefebe) YOU ARE A WHORE. So I would find a little corner and
take off my panties and scratch…… it felt sooo nice until I had to take a
bath. And then it was einaaaaaaaaaaaa…… “Sore in Afrikaans”
So I thought I was cool you know, when I itch I scratched and then endured a
bath of sunlight bath soap and put lots of Vaseline on and skipped underwear
cause it used to cause friction and my cookie became pink. As if that was not
enough I had amaforohla (when your thighs rub together and create a black area
right next to your privates. Now besides being fat I am going to have to wear
tights with my school dress ai.
So you see I had a lot to worry about I did not need to be running behind Zee
though I liked her I reserved myself to liking her from far. But then she
started invading my personal space. She came to our house in the evening and
sat down to dinner with us, I don’t mind sharing food, but the evening
stories my step dad used to tell us were one of my favorite times of the
evening and I did not want her there. Hayi bo this girl was quickly becoming a
member of my family, now I had nothing to boast about because she knows all of
my family secrets hayyi ah .
About 9 or 10 days into the holidays Mmamahlangu came and asked mom if Zee can
spend the night with us, she had to go to an all night prayer and she
couldn’t leave her alone. Okay now I am supposed to share my single sponge
with her? good gracious me! what about the things I did at night you know, like touching myself huh ? How was I supposed to do that ai nooo man this
girl is becoming a nuisance man ai. I just wished she could share with my
sisters. But I knew that I was the one that would be chosen, I was the only
one who slept alone besides my brother.
So that night after everyone ate we listened to a story or two and then off to
bed we went. I guess I should have been grateful for a warm body next to mine,
because South African winters can be harsh, especially when you live in a
structure made of congrugated iron. So I kept to my side of the bed and
pretended to be asleep, I guess I did fall asleep cause when next I woke it
was to the feel of hands puling me closer to a body. Had I not known that I
was not alone I would have screamed my lungs out lol. And what happened after
that is something I have never talked about to anybody except my female lover
and you adventurers.
This is what happened or what i remember happened lol its been about 18 years
or so. Zee’s hands crept into my night dress and went all the way up to my sore and
sensitive newly sprouted boobs. I was a chubby child so you can imagine how big
they were combined with my natural chubbiness. She fondled them until I moaned
from the pain I got. She stopped; I guess she was scared that someone would
hear us. Congrugated iron did nothing when it came to concealing sounds, you
could hear you neighbors talk through the walls. She then took my nightie off
and brought her lips to mine…. Ssshhhhh…She said when I attempted to talk.
She helped me take my night dress off and she took off hers as well, took my
face into her hands and started kissing me in what I can now describe as
‘passionately”although at the time I thought it was funny, that she would
want to lick my lips and put her tongue inside my mouth. Her hands were
everywhere from my boobs to my buttocks and I was feeling tingly, my toes
curled and I just wanted to hold on to her. And then she touched my secret
place, the place that I always touched when I was alone in bed at night and I
felt like screaming…… her finger just knew where to touch and how. She
made circular movements on that special place I have come to know as the
‘clit’, and I trembled all over. Felt like I could fall over from the
sensations I got. But she was not done yet. She turned so that we were now
both lying on the mattress, our heads on opposite sides and our pussies rubbing
against each other, I remember the warmth that flowed from hers, hot and
slippery… and soft. She held on to my hand and grinded against me harder
and harder until she shook sooo hard I thought something was wrong. and then
it came, the feeling that started right from my toes traveling at the speed of
light up my thighs and I knew I was also shaking the way she did so I held on
to her hand just to steady myself cause I felt like I was going to fall over
from the blood rushing to my ears and head. I closed my eyes and let the
feelings ride over me until I felt them subside. When I opened my eyes she was
lying next to me with covers over both of us and she let out a big sigh and
cuddled closer still.
Zee spent four more nights with us after that and we got talking about a lot
of things. She helped me with my itchy rash told me not to scratch and to use
pure water instead of soap. She educated me about menstruation. The rest of
my holidays turned into what I can only describe as the best. I never saw her
again after this and I guess I never took the time to enquire. I just take it
as an experience that needed to happen to me at the time and I am quiet
thankful that it did happen because I find myself attracted to gals more as I
grow. I’m 30 now and I have a sex partner who is female and a boyfriend. I find
that both play two very important roles in my life. My gf knows about my man but
alas I know he would freak out if he knew what me and my gf get up to when he
is not around.