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How to Measure A Man’s Dick Before Committing Yourself

 

Statue w 12There’s a popular saying that goes: ’Women say they love the little things in life till you hand them a small penis’’ Hahaha
Have you ever met a man and fallen head over heels, gone through the chat and the tickles and the sweet nothings and ended up falling so in love with him and then on the day the relationship finally gets intimate, the size of his dick simply breaks your heart so bad you do not ever want to get in that bed again with him? Like when I was in bed with Ato a few months ago. After a wasted several months of dating, I was so hurt I could not tell him to his face till a few days after. I just sent him a curt text saying I would like us to remain friends without the intimacies because honestly, it did not happen for me. Ashi mi rough. Na saa small something yi di3 ye di ye den? Mtcheeew! And to think that I like him so much.
Heavens! If you are not a woman you will not understand the gravity of this dilemma. It is a huge problem. There before you is a man who is gorgeous, polite, sweet, caring, confident, successful, tall, dark chocolate goodness that makes your heart screech like a train on the loose. You love him passionately but his doggone penis is small!!
What are you going to do? Many men with small dicks who are not confident about themselves will come and play some silly psychology here saying the size of a man’s dick depends on the size of a woman’s vagine. Indeed! Honey, my ‘vagine’ is tighter than rusted joints. You cannot move it till you oil it but listen, I want a dick that makes me gasp, a dick that makes me feel my ‘vagine’ being stretched inside. Do you understand? I want to feel you thrust against my walls. I want to get a sweet girly and giggly rush when I look in your face like ‘’Boy, you bad!’’ When I see you after we have been intimate, I want to be able to salute like ‘’Hey Pappi’’ and I want you to be able to grab my ass and say ‘’Whose your daddy huh?’’ with the meanest look and imma say ‘’yea! You are’’
So when I posted a picture of this fine brother I have been digging in my whatsapp group, this man who I have been planning to fuck the socks off of this Christmas, I was well devastated when Shayna said ‘’This your man looks like his dick will be really small’’
What!! I was planning on ditching him already just from that little statement.
How did she know? And Shayna is usually right. We call her the chief penis officer because she can tell such things. No kidding. Shayna can look at a man and say to me his dick will be little and truly when we investigate, we will find a fucking little dick! Now I am not about that bullshit life of getting in a man’s bed, seeing the dick and not being able to run from it. I am very picky about my banging sessions and they are far apart so if finding out a man’s dick size means going in his bed to be sure, I cannot deal with it. No!
So I asked Shay to teach me a few tricks. Besides the clichéd ones like the size of his feet which is almost always wrong. You will see a man with huge feet coming in your face with some tiny dick it is friggin bore I tell ya.
She said check his nails! The very top of his finger, at his nail bed. Is it wide? Or narrow or small? That is a sure banker way to tell. If that nail bed is wide, girl, you have struck the golden dick! That is the surest way that is never wrong. Even if his fingers are short and stubby but that nail must be wide to hit platinum sized dick. And if it’s not wide, Me Purple tussle, I do not care about anything else. Hahaha! Also a thing about short men, hihi, apparently all the height they are lacking has to go somewhere so it gets in the dick baby! So next time you feeling the moves with a short man, don’t fight the feeling. 😉 So ladies, are there other ways of determining a man’s dick size? Tell me please because it is important that I know! Important to the sentimental equilibrium of my vagine!

About the Author

Published on: 13 October 2014 by in General Issues

has written 11 stories on this site.

25 Comments
  1. Nana Darkoa says:

    Hahahaha. This post made me laugh. As for me I’m with Team #SizeDoesntMatter

  2. Purple T. says:

    As for me, I tried saying it didn’t matter before. I learned the hard way. It matters paa! Hahaha

  3. Leslie says:

    Size definitely matters, but there are some that would compromise size for other endowments he may have. The simplest way to find out a man’s penis size before having sex is to simply fondle it during a heated kissing session. That way you can have an idea of what the girth and depth would be, because width is just as important. He would be clueless because who doesn’t have a heated kissing session with lustful hands.

  4. Purple T. says:

    Lol. That kissing and bumbing thing. Hahaha.
    But look, what if I haven’t kissed him yet? Or made out. How can I eye him up and tell if that dickie be packing? First date inspection.

  5. Leslie says:

    Can you really tell how endowed a man really is? Looks are deceiving, so you never know. I would think that you need more than one date to decide if he really is a prick or do you care to get pricked. If you haven’t made out, hold off on the sex. If sex is what you want then you run the risk. What we really know is that the average penis size is 5.5-6.3. Hopefully the greedy gals can be blessed with the higher and above spectrum. Otherwise, touching is believing!

  6. Toksyk says:

    Lol this is so funny for me on many levels. I was doubly blessed in the first few sexual encounters of meeting guys who were not only well endowed but also eager to please with their tongue first so the first time I encountered me a short dick dude I almost cried. Nothing worst than having your office sex fantasy ruined by a guy thrusting into you with your legs high up on a table and you can’t feel narda!

    On the flip side I was once very pleasantly surprised by what a short guy I dated was packing I promptly nicknamed him ‘Godzilla’ upon first sighting! Really wish there was a fool proof way of knowing because I certainly cannot do the size doesn’t matter mode of thinking!

  7. Malaka says:

    Chale. As for the “size don’t matter” mantra, it’s only something we say to men to make then feel better about themselves. Ah! It matters papa!

    As Toksysk said,tThere is nothing more painful and frustrating than to have some guy with a tiny dick rubbing around your outer labia because he’s not long enough to get in. It hurts your soul. I think this is what hell is: a horny woman being forced into intercourse with a string of short dicked men. Ugh!

  8. God just the thought of a short penis. Seriously trying to remember. Haba. Size does matter, abeg. Then you add girth and seriously, just all yummy.

  9. Abena says:

    loool,PURPLE!!now u got me looking at men’s nail bed in order to aptly access their sizes.
    As somebody who has decided to abstain till marriage,this would go a long way to help me get the CORRECT SIZE because i also belong to #teamsizematters.
    I just hope your dear friend’s litmus test is 100% certified and can ensure efficacy.hehehe

  10. Purple T. says:

    Toksyk, thank you for speaking my gospel! I have had best so I canot settle for better. Imagine a man with a small dick and whack oral game. A double loss? No please!
    Abena, my eyes are so open. I look well!

  11. Nnenna says:

    This comment is killing me!

  12. Nnenna says:

    Size matters o, and I mean when it comes to oral. Those monster dicks will just tear your mouth up!

    After I had my first BJ experience as documented in the story ‘Sleeping Dicks Lie’, I had the good fortune to date a guy who had one smallllll dick like this, that it was almost like having a straw in my mouth. Its girth seemed to be as thick as my thumb, I swear and just as comfortable.

    Of course he turned out to be an arsehole and I wasn’t really ‘dating’ him as he had a girlfriend and I didn’t know. That one time of having that dick in my mouth was also the last.

    Now whether size matters down there I will never know. I did not have a lot of sex before I married and I cannot have with any man now that I have had children so I don’t know if a thicker dick (than my husband’s – which will just be too bigggg for my mouth/hands) will do my new vag a world of good.
    I will say my husband’s does me just fine. And he is not monstrous by any account. Just a gooood decent size that grows very, very well.

  13. Purple T. says:

    Nana, remember she has referred to the good man as a good size! Also, it grows! Key features. And if any bigger would be too big, she is probably jollificating with a big member. No, not one where she has to ask “honey, where’s the rest of your dick?”
    Hihihii! So Yea, the Size has been well established as not small.

  14. Nnenna says:

    To be honest though, I am just a tongue girl and girllll, my husband can do things with his tongue that man has not evolved enough to do yet!! Hayibo. The kind of moves that makes you sing hymns to God because all of creation suddenly makes sense.

    Well, I married an X-Man. That dick can wait. 😀

  15. Purple T. says:

    Hahahah! Nnenna, me I like the tongue too o. That’s the starter. The thing must be a full meal habah! Tongue must make the way first. God bless all men who have their tongue game right. It’s a reason to sing hymns.

  16. Nick says:

    well the nail bed check doesn’t work for me cos mine is wide but I do not have a big member. I’m in the average league. I think there’s no sure way of knowing a man’s size….yet uncovered

  17. mj says:

    For me the best way is touching it during foreplay.

    I am quite Shy and all of that, but I’d very much touch your dick to know if I am willing to get down to business with you at some point while we are “dating” (dating being the pre-relationship phase).

    I recently fucked someone with a not so huge member and even though he made me cream like hell, I was always left hanging. After he acted like an arse, I was so glad cos I liked him dearly but his size was a big issue.

    Ladies, touch it so you know what you are dealing with before hand. 🙂

  18. ESS says:

    I’ve encountered small dicks and I said to myself NEVER AGAIN I cant begin to describe it… anyway I think I’m a team size does matter.

    I doubt there’s a way to check though, but I like the touch during a make out session.

  19. Weird AF says:

    Big or nothing. I can’t even explain… Big duck or nothing thanks

  20. jane says:

    wish this held 100% true and all of us…men and women could just automatically rule out the partners that wouldnt physically rock our worlds and go from there. Its sad but it doesnt…i started seeing a man with huge nail beds and while he and others may have had a little over the average man… the girth was no where close to huge or platinum.

  21. catie says:

    It’s true!!! Short guys do got big dicks lol every short guy I been with has been packing some serious weaponry 🙂

  22. Janie says:

    How do you get out of going all the way during a make out session if you find out the “member” is practically non existent?

    That happened to me. My ex was hung like a horse and his girth was humungous as well. Tons of ORGASMS every time.

    The new guy, well, his pants came off and, where was it? Where did it go? He turned the lights off! No orgasm, no cervix hitting, nothing for me. And he said, “You have a small house.” So, he was so small, like the width and length of a small woman’s hand. He said my hands were small and his weenie was the size of my thumb… I think. Not like my 12 inch ex.

    WHAT A SURPRISE! And how do you get out of the situation when you are there? The two guys were not that different in height and the second guy was a whole lot heavier, but not fat.

    I don’t understand it!!!!!! Been checking out nail beds, but I’ve only been with these two and i don’t want to sample the world. Two is almost more than enough. The next one will be it for life because I don’t need any more headaches. Both have been contacting me post break up.

  23. sportcat says:

    I’m a man with a below 5″ pecker of about average girth, from what I read. I am considered good looking and get plenty of attention from the ladies. But I have to agree that size does matter to many women.
    I have had women who seemed very satisfied in bed, some who were eager to get married to me (and one did).
    But there were others who were not satisfied, I could tell.
    I have to admit that those experiences made me lose confidence in myself and have held me back many times from approaching women I was attracted to. I hate the fact that I am below average and a disappointment to at least some women. I am not saying that these women tried to make me feel inadequate, because they didn’t.
    But I can tell when I get the job done and when I don’t.
    It isn’t the lady’s fault; I was simply born inadequate. Nature ripped me off.
    The lady who recommended checking his size while making out probably has the best idea. Women have felt my erection through my pants while making out and afterward told me they didn’t want an intimate relationship with me. I put two and two together. Though I felt somewhat emasculated having been felt up and judged too little, it was less humiliating that going to bed with her and failing to please her there.

    There is no point in starting a relationship which will be less than fulfilling. If you’re not fulfilled, your man will know this and he won’t be happy either. There are too many miserable couples out there already.

    • Nana Darkoa says:

      @sportcat – your comment made me feel a bit sad. I am one of those women who truly believes size is not important, and so I really do not want you or any other man to feel you need to measure up to some ridiculous penis size standard. I hope you can regain some of this lost confidence

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