“I was hitting my girl from the back – and by that I mean I was totally drilling into her ass hole…she loves that…and then she comes and squirts all over me. I was like, ‘Mate! Do that again!’ I think a woman squirting is the loveliest thing I’ve ever seen.” – Real conversation with one of my co-workers.
Squirting – or what we think of as female ejaculation – has been a sexual fad over the last twenty years. Ying Yang twins sang about it. Several hip-hop songs have paid “homage” to the goal, description and promise of the female squirt. (Here’s a list of the 50 grossest rap lyrics, circa 2013 describing how/why/where to beat pussy and make it dribble) Consumers and producers of porn demand squirting – evidence of an explosive female climax – because without it, the sex must’ve not been hot enough and therefore not with the film used to capture it.
In fact, squirting has become such a phenomenon that there are How To videos to teach women how to simulate the experience in order to appease their partners and attain a sense of personal achievement. According to sexmd.com “Women who experience squirting are simply learning to release one set of muscles while contracting the bladder so they can release urine during orgasm. And it isn’t even always correlated with orgasm.”
But why all this fuss when squirting is the equivalent of pissing on yourself? That’s right, Adventurers. You read that quote correctly: The gush you feel during squirting is nothing more than the release of urea from your bladder (possibly) mixed in with the fluid released during an actual orgasm. In effect, a woman can learn to squirt without actually experiencing the (wonderful, fantastic and amazing!) sensations of a true orgasm. Many women (of the minority of sexually active women, a mere 1/3) who experience an orgasm release a fluid similar to male ejaculation at the moment of climax, but without the sperm. When she “squirts”, that fluid is then mingled with the urea from her bladder. Most of us are taught from the time we are toddlers not to whiz on ourselves, so squirting can feel counter-intuitive.
However, some people find the release of fluid and exciting part of the act of lovemaking. My former co-worker is an example. In some cases, the messier the better. In some cases, the freakier the better. As in “let me come in your hair and on your belly.” Other folk find the idea of rolling about in thick coital liquid absolutely revolting. The important thing is for couples to talk about what they want to achieve while they are making the beast with two backs, or hiding the rainbow roll, or whatever metaphors the pair of you have come up with the describe sex.
Have you ever felt pressure to squirt on your partner? Would you ever want to? Does squirting mean the sex was better?
*Malaka is a humorist, pop culture commentator and author of five books. Visit her store at Books by Malaka to shop and learn more.