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‘Things I wish my period would say to me every month’ by Guest Contributor reps from Curvy Fit Antigua

Last November I joined the Curvy Fit Antigua wellness group led by my good friend and forever bae Amina Doherty . Although the group was initially aimed at fostering wellness amongst women of all sizes in Antigua, myself and a couple of other sisters signed up to be virtual members of the group. And it has been the best thing ever!

Just look at this picture of me from yesterday.


Don’t I look baelicious? Ha! Please allow this #HumbleBrag but your girl has been working hard.

Anyhoo in our chat group yesterday we started chatting about what we wish our period would do instead of what it normally does – causing PMS, bloating, mood swings. I mean it’s 2017 and biology still hasn’t got the memo. Just imagine if our periods could simply whatsapp us every month. Here are some of the things we wish Period would say:


“Hello. You are not pregnant this month. All reproductive organs are functioning healthily. Until next month. Goodbye”

“Hey. Di eggs dem a cool and just a wait fit your go ahead. Bless up babe”

“Congratulations for not getting us pregnant for that fuckboy”

“Good job with that condom in your bra move. That was a close one this month.”

“Your bank balance would not have sustained you getting pregnant this month…try again in 24 months after more fiscally responsible decisions”

And if there needed be any bleeding, it would be light, painless, and dare I say somehow pleasurable?

So what do you wish YOUR period would say to you if it could whatsapp you? Join in the comments below

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Published on: 27 February 2017 by in General Issues

has written 244 stories on this site.

  1. Belinda B. says:

    Hummm… it would say, I don’t feel like talking. Gurl Bye!

  2. Saffron&Lace says:

    You know the drill: emotional, breasts will hurt when touched, breasts will hurt when confined in a bra – breasts will hurt period. Oh, don’t forget the period pains. The period pains are scheduled for 08 hundred hours on Monday, two weeks from today – pop a painkiller an hour before, the stronger the better or have a hot water bottle handy, whatever gets you through. Everything else (mood swings, aching breasts and a temperamental internal thermostat) is scheduled earlier.
    It’s not all hard work baby, you’ll be horny over the next five days – use your toys, the detachable shower head and your husband’s penis. You’re welcome.

  3. Leslie says:

    I wish it would say: ” I am done for good, GOOD-BYE”

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