Love making, sex, shagging, intercourse, fu*king, boning … do they describe the same act? I would argue not.
For me making love depicts an act of tenderness. I imagine candles, soft music, clean sheets, massage oils and an outpouring of emotion. With making love you have got to be in love with the person you are having ‘sex’ with.
Having sex on the other hand does not need to involve the emotion of love. Sex needs physical attraction, chemistry and lust. The candles, soft music, clean sheets, and massage oil become part of a rationally thought out process … it helps to get you into the mood.
What’s your preference and why? Love making or sex?
Nana Darkoa
P.S: This …

A reader of this blog asked me ‘So, how did you get so confident?’. I guess what she really meant was, how did you become so bold in writing about sex? The fact is, I don’t think it’s confidence that has led to me writing about sexuality. I think my motivation is a continuation of my politics as a feminist. I think women have the RIGHT to have great sex and I think a lack of knowledge prevents a lot of us from having great sex.
There is also a lot of silence about sex (I have to point out that I am speaking from my personal standpoint). My sex education as a child was primarily …

Hmmm, does penis size matter? That’s the question one of the ‘commenters’ on this blog wants us to answer. Before I can really answer this question I need to think of some of the different penises I have been involved with in the past and compare and contrast ‘performance’ with size.
The first penis that comes to mind belongs to Juan. Juan is Cuban, a hot salsa dancer and has the biggest dick I have ever seen in my life. I am not joking or exaggerating when I say the length was a good 12 inches and the girth about 9 inches. I tell you the first time I saw that ‘monster’ I wanted to run. …

We decided that since neither of us had encountered every penis on the planet (and who would want to?) it might be a good idea to do susu with our experiences and put them in one pot for all to share. Dicks are a lot like men: There are short ones, long ones, big ones small ones, uncircumcised ones, half circumcised ones…dicks that inspire “ahh’s!!” and some that elicit an unimpressed “oh.”
You get the drift.
I’ll share my experience from the other side of the size coin: My encounter with a small dick. I guess I should be clear with what I consider “small”, and for that matter, so should every other woman. Anything …

Since we’re getting all cozy on this blog, I have a wonderful Adventure to share with you. Prepare yourselves ladies (and gents) to be regaled by the tale of “My Voyage on a Man I will only Refer to as KS.”

I met KS in 2003 while on holiday in Ghana. Christmas in Ghana is itself a seductive time of year…I’m sure Christ or the Church never meant for it to be described as such. Everyone one “comes down” from abrochi with their new purchased clothes and electronic gadgets, the folks back home are happy to see you, and Accra has a general gaiety that is somewhat absent during the rest of the …

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My grandmother and I shared what I consider a unique relationship. Having no daughters of her own (she bore four sons), she often referred to me as “her daughter”. I was also her namesake and I’ve always considered both titles an honor.

Our relationship was unique to me because unlike so many of my friends’ grandparents, she was uncommonly open about the details of her private and personal life. I remember one conversation we had while sitting on the veranda in our house in Labone. I’d just finished my homework and was listening to the sounds of the residential area, content from a meal of boiled yam, plantain and palava sauce that …

I hope you are intrigued by the name of our spanking new blog, ‘Adventures from the bedroom of African women’. I am too, even though I am a co-author for this blog.
So what is this blog about? This blog is simply about the diverse sexualities of African women. I have found myself becoming interestingly interested in women’s sexuality the older I have got. (I am all of 31 years old in case you are wondering) I am interested in knowing what brings women pleasure, how women negotiate pleasureable sex with their partners, why women put up with ‘bad sex’.
I have had conversations with friends who have ‘confessed’ to faking orgasms in order to be over …