For my thoughts on being black, womanhood and body issues do check out the interview with Girl, It’s Not Just You…
Do let me know your thoughts on the interview

A few weeks ago one of my oldest friends accused me of being “anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children”, I was shocked. “Me?” I responded, “Where did you get that impression from?” “It’s true” she said, if you like ask “Koshie* ”. What? My friends were discussing me and had come to the conclusion that I am anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children?
“Well, I know you and I know deep down you are not anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children” my friend conceded. I asked Koshie and she agreed with Aminata’s* original view, and vigorously defended their position.
So for the record I would like to clarify my position on marriage, relationships and children.
Yes, I am fairly cynical …

I come from the social constructivist school of thought and I’m loath to admit to any strong biological imperatives. My reasons for this are mainly political, women’s biology seems to be used as an excuse to keep women in their place. Does the fact that you carry a baby mean you are the only person who has to care for the child? and by extension take on board all the care-giving responsibilities needed within society – nurses, nannies,”house wives”, tea-maker at work, counsellor…
Yet even I have to admit (very reluctantly) that there is a time of the month when I get really hungry – hungry for food and hungry for sex. Oh and at this …

Why is it that people ask if you’re gay when you stand up for gay rights?
Why do I know so many wonderful single girls and no single men?
Being in a relationships is overrated.
Religious people get married early so they can have guilt free sex
Pre-colonial African women had more control over their own sexuality compared to African women of today
Polygyny should be outlawed
Teenagers should be encouraged to masturbate as part of comprehensive sex education

I love waist beads. I love the way they look and the way they feel against my body. I love it when my lover plays with my waist beads. I feel sexier when I wear waist beads.
The beads in the picture were a gift from a friend. She got them in Dakar, apparently they are known as “ball breakers” because of their size and they should only be worn when you’re going to have sex….
Alas, I am still waiting to break them out

I am very interested to learn more about traditional methods of seduction. A friend from Benin shared with me some sex tips from her mother.
Mother: Put your husband’s head on your breast like this. Then rub his ears very gently like this. When he gets erect let him get on top. Wait until he is close to climax then you get on top. Afterwards there is nothing your husband won’t do for you.
According to my friend, periodically, her mum would try this method on her dad and for days afterwards daddy would follow mummy around the house, eager to do her bidding.

To think that once upon a time you loved this person, could not wait to speak to him, see him, spend time with him.
Then one day, you wake up, and things have changed.
You no longer feel the same way. You no longer want to spend time with him. It is now inconcieveable that you will spend the rest of your lives together.
What happens when love goes sour?

I find it interesting that the articles that inspired me to write this post both focussed on how much women love to receive oral sex – that a man is not a man if he doesn’t “lick her till Tomorrow comes”.
As far as I’m concerned, yes oral sex is nice, but trust me, if your woman doesn’t know how to enjoy receiving oral sex, you might as well be licking a money’s ass because I can bet you my puny Ministry salary that she’ll be wishing that’s what you were doing instead.
Pussy eating, clam diving, carpet munching, cunnilingus… it’s a fine art – hello! it’s the basis of lesbian sex – but not many …

A few months ago, Nana blogged about the ramifications and complications of dating a sexuality blogger. What do you share; what do you not share; should the person at the time be worried you’re going to expose every encounter? Nowhere are these complications more worrisome than when the blogger is entrenched in the institution of marriage.
 Ugh.
 The constant questioning of what you did with whom when, is exhausting. The worst part is the constant comparing between my former partners and him. It’s part of the reason I blog so sparingly. I know, I know. I shouldn’t let the haters stop me. But then my husband threw me a bone. He told me I should blog about …

If we weren’t living in a world of prudes, I would add pussy-eating to the list of hobbies on my CV. For me, pussy-eating is an exciting thing to do and I want the whole world to know about why I love it so.
Pussy-eating is fun, but it’s not something to be approached lightly. It is very serious business; it is art and it is science.
It is also, for me, an expression of the deepest love. I will never “go down” on anyone I am not in a serious relationship with. If it’s a fling or one-night stand, sorry, my tongue will not get anywhere near your pussy. This is the first cardinal …