There comes a point in every relationship when you have to introduce a third party to spice things up. For some of the more freakier people out there (okay, lets not judge them; lets call them “adventurous”), this may mean bringing another man or woman into the bedroom. Some people like/need to watch porn to get their rocks off. For others, electronic devices seem to do the trick.

I’ll never forget the day I was introduced to a vibrator. It was light yellow, about 8 – 9 inches long, and looked like a missile. It also belonged to one of my best friend’s mother, who was from the Gambia.

“Come to my parent’s …

A lady brought some second hand books to my office to sell. She had been there previously to sell books and I wasn’t interested in anything she had at the time. So I told her my preference in books…she came yesterday with books by Iyanla Vanzant, Maya Angelou, Alice Walker and Whoopi Goldberg. I already had a copy of the book she had brought by Maya (she is my favourite author in the whole wide world, one of my greatest wishes is to meet her so if you can hook up a sister I shall be ever grateful) so I did not purchase it. I had read the book she brought by Alice Walker but …

My last post has had one of the fewest responses ever…it took over a week to get a second comment (and what a great comment that was). I was speaking to Mr L during the week and I said to him:
“Hardly anyone has commented on my last blog about women’s fantasies, I wonder why”
and he said
“Either their fantasies are too sick or they are scared they will be found out”.
This raised several questions in my mind:

What kinds of fantasies are too sick to be written down?

Isn’t that the whole point of fantasising, to be as sick as you want?

What are sick fantasies?

Do your fantasies have to come true?

Are your fantasies not as enjoyable once …

The quality of sex you have with your lover/partner can be greatly improved by the amount of self confidence you have which comes from amongst other things, loving your body.
I personally can share a few experiences.It is not that I didn’t love my body in the past; it is just that I didn’t really pay much attention.
As the years have gone by and various things have happened I have paid more attention to my body, negatives and positives and listened to what various lovers, male friends and acquaintances have had to say about me. Honestly, I wish I had maximized my assets when I was younger, however it is never too late to start afresh.
As …

Over dinner and drinks with my girlfriends yesterday the subject turned to men and sex. In terms of our sexual “tastes” the menu was diverse. There was of course:

The “sex and sexuality blogger“, yours truly
The ” I’ve got to have it two times a day“, at least and “Oh, I have whole body orgasms“
The ” I really can’t be bothered about sex“
The “I love to play” and I’m heading to the sex shop soon with my current playmate for some toys
The “I love sex but not having any” since my relationship ended

What are your sexual tastes? One of my girlfriend’s gave us a good laugh when she told us about having sex in a …

I met Dark Skinned Brother (DSB) on a night out with friends and immediately our conversation was underpinned with sexual undertones.
He was confident, strong, bold and very sexy. His voice always got to me…..deep and velvety smooth…
There were times when we made love and it was beyond the physical……Sometimes we fucked, fast and furious, satisfying the animal urges within us.We had sex in public places, laughing throughout the whole experience and sometimes we just hugged and slept in each other’s arms.
The lesson I learnt from my relationship with DSB was that when you are in tune with someone, on all levels of human existence (which we were), it doesn’t matter what kind of sex you …

In a few minutes it will be International Women’s Day (that’s assuming you live in the same time zone as I do). On this day I wish for all women:

The right to safer sex

The right to an orgasm. Heck! the right to multiple orgasms…

The right to let go of all cultural and social taboos that restrict and limit women’s sexualities

Nana Darkoa

One of the commenter’s on a previous post wanted to know our thoughts on anal sex, pornography and sex toys. I can’t speak for Abena so as usual I shall speak for myself.
Anal Sex – I have tried it once and I’m not a big fan. I may even go so far to say never again. Saying that, I don’t think the real issue was the act itself but the emotional context in which the act took place. At the time I was in the dying stages of a relationship and my partner at the time decided that the one thing he wanted was to have anal sex with me, He badgered me until I …

Whoopi Goldberg refers to hers as a Punany, six-year old Kate calls hers tata, Annie cheekily calls hers her va jay jay, Steve calls mine a Punkie and Dufie calls hers a pussy.
I don’t have a name for mine. Why? because I tend to only refer to it in a sexual context. Either I am telling someone to do something to it or with it…and in that instance I call it whatever they call it.
As an 18 year old College student watching the Vagina monologues, I was moved to tears. The stories of the liberated women in the vagina monologues were confrontational, reflective, challenging and beautiful. The only relationship I had with my virginal …

Yesterday, myself and two of my girlfriends watched a production of The Vagina Monologues at the Efua Sutherland Theatre, University of Ghana, Legon. I was keen to watch the production, especially because The Vagina Monologues was banned in Uganda. I do not know the official reason given for the ban but I do recognise that some African states prevent women from openly speaking up about their sexuality (read Vagina in the case of The Vagina Monologues) so i felt really excited that in Ghana we can openly watch The Vagina Monolgues.
One of the most interesting portions of the monologue was when the women demonstrated the various sounds they make when climaxing. There was “Oh, oh, …