A reader asked me a while ago to blog on ‘vaginoplasty’. I had completely forgotten about that request but earlier today I was browsing through comments on ‘Adventures’ and saw that request.
Vaginoplasty makes me think ‘ouch’. Why would anyone want to have vaginal surgery? I can understand that women who have survived FGM for e.g. might choose to have surgery to make it easier to have sex, give birth or make menstruation easier but from where I sit its hard to understand why anyone else would choose to have a surgeon trim or tighten their ‘bits’.
Like some of you I have watched one or two of those reality shows where women undergo vaginoplasty, and I’ve …

Abena and I are answering some questions about this blog for an interview and I would like to share some of the questions with you in the hope that you will be willing to provide some answers. In the past I have had people email me to say how grateful they are for the website, it enables them to hold difficult discussions with their husbands, partners, etc…so it is in that vein that I’m posing the questions below:
 

Do you think that websites like yours puts sexuality in the spotlight? Does this make it easier for African women to address or embrace their sexuality more
Do you think that addressing sexuality frankly on your site empowers women? …

You know what sex hair is don’t you? It’s simply the style of your hair after amazing sex. For Caucasian women, sex hair is usually tussled and frames their faces messily, but oddly ‘sexily’. Since Black women’s hair is a lot more versatile, our hair has a larger spectrum ranging from dred locs gone awry, to fuzzy cornrows, to a carefully arranged weave. Since I have been natural for the last 3 years, my sex hair manifests itself as a 7” sloped flat-on-one-side afro.
My husband has informed me that this look is not cute at all. I of course translated this to mean it was not ‘sexy’. Which it in truth, isn’t.
I immediately set about …

One of my best friends in Secondary school was a nun, and she told me that women who had abortions were condemned in hell to sit by a pool of blood, and had to drink from that pool continiously. I must have been 14 or so when she told me that story and yet the visual imagery of women sitting by a pool of blood, drinking blood into infinity is an image that has stuck with me my whole life.
 
During those same years at Secondary school a girl I knew fell pregnant. She and her boyfriend were making out and without prior warning he thrust his penis into her and ejaculated. I was freaked out …

Abortion. Termination. Right to Choose. No matter how you dress it to suit your sentiments, they’re all synonyms for the same thing: a baby is about to die in the womb.
As the abortion debate rages on across the globe, advocates for and against the procedure have largely left one crucial party out of the conversation: the men who are partners in, and equally responsible for the pregnancy.
The business of child birth and child rearing has long been the primary domain of women, but it does not belong to women alone.  Men always have and always will play a crucial role in the reproduction process – and that’s by providing sperm. Even though his role is …

Ladies, I need some advice here.
A while ago, I was on a promise, all set up and ready to happen at 5pm on a
given day (no, I’m not not anal like that, just that she closed from work at
4.30pm and it would take her 30 mins to get to me) Anyway, at about 10am that
morning, I get a call from this chick all apologetic and explaining that she had
just come on. “Come on what? I asked”. My psyched up mind just
couldn’t comprehend that anything could possibly scupper our well planned tryst.
Never mind the 2 shots of atemuda going to waste, what the heck was I going to
do about the soon to hit blue balls? So …

…or even give one.
The other day Nana was goading me via Twitter about getting an article done for Adventures. I’ve been persona absentia from the blog for many months for a myriad of reasons, the foremost of which is because I’m not in possession of an exciting sex life.
There, I said it: I’m a married woman with 4 kids whose sexual encounters are more akin to a night spent in a knitting circle than an erotic scene in Remember the Tight Ones. (You guessed it: That’s a porn title.) No surprise there.
“How can I write about something that I barely have?” I tweeted. “I’m not a wizard!”
“Then write about WHY you’re not having sex,” Nana …

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE                                     
Contact: Mary Ciugu, (254) 20 271-9832/913
July 11, 2011                                                
equalitynownairobi@equalitynow.org

 LIBERIAN JURY DELIVERS “GUILTY” VERDICT ON RUTH BERRY PEAL’S CASE
On 8 July 2011, the case of Ruth Berry Peal, who was forcedly genitally mutilated, rested after one month of hearings. The jury retired to deliberate on the arguments presented by the state prosecutor and the defense lawyers and returned with a verdict of “Guilty”.   The judge announced that he will deliver the sentence in five days but before adjourning made references to the Liberian Constitution and article 4(1) of the African Protocol on the Rights of Women which provides for “Every woman shall be entitled to respect for her life and the integrity and …

Do you really care what size the person you’re having sex with is?
Let me give you a brief background into why I set up a poll to ask your opinion on this. By the way the poll is on the right hand side of the home page of the site (just below popular posts so please take some time out to answer the poll).
I was chatting to two of my girlfriends (in separate conversations) a few days ago and all of us were stressing about the amount of weight we had put on. I was complaining that in the past week I had gained a kilo which is sitting around my waistline (add that to …

I am a sexually experienced woman who has had her fair share of sexual partners. I’m lucky to be able to say that most of it has been great sex. But it hasn’t always been that way. In fact, for most of my teenage and young adult years, I fought, losing the battle on almost every front, against this common sexual demon: the idea that virginity is a nuisance and not something to cherish.
I grew up pretty ‘pure’ and by the time I went to university, I had never been kissed. I saw the idea of my virginity as something to be proud of; I viewed sex as something to be shared between two people …