A couple of months ago, you may recall that Nana and I went on a search for new “accoutrements” while she was here in Atlanta. It was during that time that both she and the accoutrements seller loudly admonished me for having never used a vibrator. Jeez! Was it that big a deal?
Apparently it was.
Let me start by saying:
Oh. My. Gawd!
And
Shiiiit!!!
Like any first time sexual experience (with a person or a thing), it starts off a little weird because of the unfamiliarity. The circumstances surrounding my vibrator use probably could have had something to do with my discomfort as well. The kids had been screaming all day, the house was a wreck, and I could …

I want to congratulate my fellow Ghana blogger Nana Yaw for highlighting an issue which many Africans shun from – the issue of same sex relationships. His series throughout the week highlighted different aspects of same sex relationships and were insightful in many parts… apart from a minor slippage in his first post in the series; I felt Nana Yaw also made a real effort not to be judgemental.
Talking about same sex relationships in our current context is always controversial. There is always the assumption that if you support gay rights then you’re gay, which of course comes with the attendant stigma associated with homosexuality.
In recent times I have found myself being increasingly bothered …

For some reason just started thinking about all the different types of sex one can have. Here’s what comes to mind, I will start with the obvious ones…
• Vaginal sex
• Oral sex
• Anal Sex
• Dry Humping
• Tantric Sex
• No Sex (does that qualify?)
Surely there must be more…your thoughts?

There is much that thrills me about being thirty something including:
• Being thirty something yet looking like I’m twenty something
• An increased sense of confidence and self worth
• Greater financial and personal freedom
• Being able to easily get on and be friends with people who are in their 20s, 30s and 40s
• Being fancied by men and women who are in their 20s, 30s and 40s
In short, I think it’s great to be thirty something. I also think in your thirties you should be able to grasp opportunities and get what you want out of life. Getting what you want out of life includes personal happiness, financial freedom, mind boggling sex, work/life balance, great friends and a supportive family. At …

Clearly a lot, right, but perhaps not in the way you may initially envisage. As part of my interest in researching sex and sexuality I borrowed this huge tome, “Our Sexuality” by Robert Crooks and Karla Baur* which I will be dipping in and out of and sharing some interesting bits with you all.
What are your thoughts on the following:
” Smell. A person’s sexual history and cultural conditioning often influence what smells he or she finds arousing. We typically learn through experience to view certain odors as erotic and others as offensive. From this perspective, there may be nothing intrinsic to the fragrance of genital secretions that might cause them to be perceived as either …

On this blog I generally write about the “good” aspects of sex and how to have good sex. However, there is a flip side to sex:
There are some women whose sexual rights and bodily integrity are violated through a myriad of factors including sexual abuse and rape. It is hard to categorise the severity of different types of abuse but in my view one of the most insidious types of violence is the use of rape as a weapon of war. In times of war, the warfront becomes women’s bodies with the rape and sexual abuse of women becoming part and parcel of wartime stratagems (some will argue that this is the case in times …

Blow job, fellatio, head, or whatever else you choose to call it, why do African women hardly talk about it? Growing up, the reactions from my fellow African women in regards to giving blow jobs ran the gamut from “Eww! Good girls don’t do that” to “I’ve been thinking about trying that but I don’t really know what to do.” Now since I haven’t conducted any kind of extensive research on the subject, I’ll just have to assume that African women are doing it somewhere, even if we’re not talking about it. So, purely from my point of view, here’s a little something for those who live in the “I’ve been thinking about that but …

For my thoughts on being black, womanhood and body issues do check out the interview with Girl, It’s Not Just You…
Do let me know your thoughts on the interview

A few weeks ago one of my oldest friends accused me of being “anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children”, I was shocked. “Me?” I responded, “Where did you get that impression from?” “It’s true” she said, if you like ask “Koshie* ”. What? My friends were discussing me and had come to the conclusion that I am anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children?
“Well, I know you and I know deep down you are not anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children” my friend conceded. I asked Koshie and she agreed with Aminata’s* original view, and vigorously defended their position.
So for the record I would like to clarify my position on marriage, relationships and children.
Yes, I am fairly cynical …

I come from the social constructivist school of thought and I’m loath to admit to any strong biological imperatives. My reasons for this are mainly political, women’s biology seems to be used as an excuse to keep women in their place. Does the fact that you carry a baby mean you are the only person who has to care for the child? and by extension take on board all the care-giving responsibilities needed within society – nurses, nannies,”house wives”, tea-maker at work, counsellor…
Yet even I have to admit (very reluctantly) that there is a time of the month when I get really hungry – hungry for food and hungry for sex. Oh and at this …