Clearly a lot, right, but perhaps not in the way you may initially envisage. As part of my interest in researching sex and sexuality I borrowed this huge tome, “Our Sexuality” by Robert Crooks and Karla Baur* which I will be dipping in and out of and sharing some interesting bits with you all.
What are your thoughts on the following:
” Smell. A person’s sexual history and cultural conditioning often influence what smells he or she finds arousing. We typically learn through experience to view certain odors as erotic and others as offensive. From this perspective, there may be nothing intrinsic to the fragrance of genital secretions that might cause them to be perceived as either …

On this blog I generally write about the “good” aspects of sex and how to have good sex. However, there is a flip side to sex:
There are some women whose sexual rights and bodily integrity are violated through a myriad of factors including sexual abuse and rape. It is hard to categorise the severity of different types of abuse but in my view one of the most insidious types of violence is the use of rape as a weapon of war. In times of war, the warfront becomes women’s bodies with the rape and sexual abuse of women becoming part and parcel of wartime stratagems (some will argue that this is the case in times …

Blow job, fellatio, head, or whatever else you choose to call it, why do African women hardly talk about it? Growing up, the reactions from my fellow African women in regards to giving blow jobs ran the gamut from “Eww! Good girls don’t do that” to “I’ve been thinking about trying that but I don’t really know what to do.” Now since I haven’t conducted any kind of extensive research on the subject, I’ll just have to assume that African women are doing it somewhere, even if we’re not talking about it. So, purely from my point of view, here’s a little something for those who live in the “I’ve been thinking about that but …

For my thoughts on being black, womanhood and body issues do check out the interview with Girl, It’s Not Just You…
Do let me know your thoughts on the interview

A few weeks ago one of my oldest friends accused me of being “anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children”, I was shocked. “Me?” I responded, “Where did you get that impression from?” “It’s true” she said, if you like ask “Koshie* ”. What? My friends were discussing me and had come to the conclusion that I am anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children?
“Well, I know you and I know deep down you are not anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children” my friend conceded. I asked Koshie and she agreed with Aminata’s* original view, and vigorously defended their position.
So for the record I would like to clarify my position on marriage, relationships and children.
Yes, I am fairly cynical …

I come from the social constructivist school of thought and I’m loath to admit to any strong biological imperatives. My reasons for this are mainly political, women’s biology seems to be used as an excuse to keep women in their place. Does the fact that you carry a baby mean you are the only person who has to care for the child? and by extension take on board all the care-giving responsibilities needed within society – nurses, nannies,”house wives”, tea-maker at work, counsellor…
Yet even I have to admit (very reluctantly) that there is a time of the month when I get really hungry – hungry for food and hungry for sex. Oh and at this …

Why is it that people ask if you’re gay when you stand up for gay rights?
Why do I know so many wonderful single girls and no single men?
Being in a relationships is overrated.
Religious people get married early so they can have guilt free sex
Pre-colonial African women had more control over their own sexuality compared to African women of today
Polygyny should be outlawed
Teenagers should be encouraged to masturbate as part of comprehensive sex education

I love waist beads. I love the way they look and the way they feel against my body. I love it when my lover plays with my waist beads. I feel sexier when I wear waist beads.
The beads in the picture were a gift from a friend. She got them in Dakar, apparently they are known as “ball breakers” because of their size and they should only be worn when you’re going to have sex….
Alas, I am still waiting to break them out

I am very interested to learn more about traditional methods of seduction. A friend from Benin shared with me some sex tips from her mother.
Mother: Put your husband’s head on your breast like this. Then rub his ears very gently like this. When he gets erect let him get on top. Wait until he is close to climax then you get on top. Afterwards there is nothing your husband won’t do for you.
According to my friend, periodically, her mum would try this method on her dad and for days afterwards daddy would follow mummy around the house, eager to do her bidding.

To think that once upon a time you loved this person, could not wait to speak to him, see him, spend time with him.
Then one day, you wake up, and things have changed.
You no longer feel the same way. You no longer want to spend time with him. It is now inconcieveable that you will spend the rest of your lives together.
What happens when love goes sour?