I was having dinner with a good friend a few hours ago, and she asked me if I could give her some tips for online dating. Well, well, well,  I definitely can. About four years ago I thought it would be a good idea to write a book called ‘How to Meet Mr Right on the Internet’, which of course called for lots of research. I remember there was one week when I went on a date every single day. Most dates were just ‘alright’. I usually met men in my local area (I lived in London at the time), had a coffee, pleasant conversation and afterwards went on my merry way home. You very …

A reader asked me a while ago to blog on ‘vaginoplasty’. I had completely forgotten about that request but earlier today I was browsing through comments on ‘Adventures’ and saw that request.
Vaginoplasty makes me think ‘ouch’. Why would anyone want to have vaginal surgery? I can understand that women who have survived FGM for e.g. might choose to have surgery to make it easier to have sex, give birth or make menstruation easier but from where I sit its hard to understand why anyone else would choose to have a surgeon trim or tighten their ‘bits’.
Like some of you I have watched one or two of those reality shows where women undergo vaginoplasty, and I’ve …

Abena and I are answering some questions about this blog for an interview and I would like to share some of the questions with you in the hope that you will be willing to provide some answers. In the past I have had people email me to say how grateful they are for the website, it enables them to hold difficult discussions with their husbands, partners, etc…so it is in that vein that I’m posing the questions below:
 

Do you think that websites like yours puts sexuality in the spotlight? Does this make it easier for African women to address or embrace their sexuality more
Do you think that addressing sexuality frankly on your site empowers women? …

I want a guy who won’t lie to me, who will always tell me the truth no matter what, a honest guy, look me in the eyes and tell me what others can’t? Huh?????
I had so many thoughts running through my head as Michelle went on and on. Yea right, Honest indeed! We claim to want honest men but how much honesty can we really handle? Last time a guy told me I needed to shed some weight, I automatically said no to his proposal. (Now really I can’t stop laughing because I knew it was true but just didn’t want him to tell me).How many women would want her man to tell her how …

You know what sex hair is don’t you? It’s simply the style of your hair after amazing sex. For Caucasian women, sex hair is usually tussled and frames their faces messily, but oddly ‘sexily’. Since Black women’s hair is a lot more versatile, our hair has a larger spectrum ranging from dred locs gone awry, to fuzzy cornrows, to a carefully arranged weave. Since I have been natural for the last 3 years, my sex hair manifests itself as a 7” sloped flat-on-one-side afro.
My husband has informed me that this look is not cute at all. I of course translated this to mean it was not ‘sexy’. Which it in truth, isn’t.
I immediately set about …

One of my best friends in Secondary school was a nun, and she told me that women who had abortions were condemned in hell to sit by a pool of blood, and had to drink from that pool continiously. I must have been 14 or so when she told me that story and yet the visual imagery of women sitting by a pool of blood, drinking blood into infinity is an image that has stuck with me my whole life.
 
During those same years at Secondary school a girl I knew fell pregnant. She and her boyfriend were making out and without prior warning he thrust his penis into her and ejaculated. I was freaked out …

Abortion. Termination. Right to Choose. No matter how you dress it to suit your sentiments, they’re all synonyms for the same thing: a baby is about to die in the womb.
As the abortion debate rages on across the globe, advocates for and against the procedure have largely left one crucial party out of the conversation: the men who are partners in, and equally responsible for the pregnancy.
The business of child birth and child rearing has long been the primary domain of women, but it does not belong to women alone.  Men always have and always will play a crucial role in the reproduction process – and that’s by providing sperm. Even though his role is …

On a day with not much work to do in the office, a colleague narrates an argument she had with her husband and somewhere along the line he quoted Ephesians 5, Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything……..
Emmmm I thought verse 25 also had something about men loving their wives. Why do men always leave out that part? It’s amazing how the least religious of men can quote this …

The happy singleton, now that almost sounds like any oxymoron doesn’t it? A few days ago I was listening to one of Ghana’s most popular commercial stations, and heard an advert which more or less said, “This film is the story of 6 successful career women who have everything they could wish for except a relationship”. Arghhh! I am sick and tired of all these films that present single women as unhappy because they are not in relationships. The story line for these films and TV series has become ever so predictable. Present a cast of ‘strong’ women who excel in their jobs, 1 of these women will be a nymphomaniac or a ‘cougar’, another …

Ladies, I need some advice here.
A while ago, I was on a promise, all set up and ready to happen at 5pm on a
given day (no, I’m not not anal like that, just that she closed from work at
4.30pm and it would take her 30 mins to get to me) Anyway, at about 10am that
morning, I get a call from this chick all apologetic and explaining that she had
just come on. “Come on what? I asked”. My psyched up mind just
couldn’t comprehend that anything could possibly scupper our well planned tryst.
Never mind the 2 shots of atemuda going to waste, what the heck was I going to
do about the soon to hit blue balls? So …