…or even give one.
The other day Nana was goading me via Twitter about getting an article done for Adventures. I’ve been persona absentia from the blog for many months for a myriad of reasons, the foremost of which is because I’m not in possession of an exciting sex life.
There, I said it: I’m a married woman with 4 kids whose sexual encounters are more akin to a night spent in a knitting circle than an erotic scene in Remember the Tight Ones. (You guessed it: That’s a porn title.) No surprise there.
“How can I write about something that I barely have?” I tweeted. “I’m not a wizard!”
“Then write about WHY you’re not having sex,” Nana …

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE                                     
Contact: Mary Ciugu, (254) 20 271-9832/913
July 11, 2011                                                
equalitynownairobi@equalitynow.org

 LIBERIAN JURY DELIVERS “GUILTY” VERDICT ON RUTH BERRY PEAL’S CASE
On 8 July 2011, the case of Ruth Berry Peal, who was forcedly genitally mutilated, rested after one month of hearings. The jury retired to deliberate on the arguments presented by the state prosecutor and the defense lawyers and returned with a verdict of “Guilty”.   The judge announced that he will deliver the sentence in five days but before adjourning made references to the Liberian Constitution and article 4(1) of the African Protocol on the Rights of Women which provides for “Every woman shall be entitled to respect for her life and the integrity and …

We’d been talking religiously every night for two weeks. Conversations organically developed from simple greetings to soul-baring confessions. I clearly remember one night we spoke from 9pm until 2am. We would have continued until the break of dawn if we could; we hadn’t had enough of listening to each other, but his Blackberry battery had, cutting us off prematurely.
Our new relationship was blossoming. It was clear he was interested in dating me. He wanted to be more than just my midnight caller. And that would have been nice too, only there was a problem. He was white.
Now, I was previously married to a white man, my children are of mixed heritage, so you’d be forgiven …

TALK
 
“You woke up looking different that day, you know?”
There was nothing in response for a few moments, but the clicking of the knife against the chopping board, as it sliced through fresh, juicy vegetables.
Then, a nonchalant, “Did I?”
“Yes.”
He frowned in concentration, trying to conjure the moment up once again.  “You sorta had this look in your eye? Like … this determined, mean look that action heroes have when they know they’ve got things under control?”
On another day, she would have smiled at the analogy.
“I guess that musta been because I did have things under control … and not a minute too soon either. It was about time I sat up to the truth.” She replied, …

Friday. 5.30pm. Time was of the essence. He had a plane to catch, I’d been stuck in traffic. There was only time to grab the cases, snatch a hug and a kiss goodbye before the dash to the airport. 5.32pm. The hug lasts thirty seconds too long, yet he doesn’t seem as anxious as I. He holds me and as we peel ourselves off each other, he asks, “Will you marry me?” Time stops…
Having dated L for almost a year and a half, the question of marriage is not new. Without wanting to boast, he’s been proposing for a good six months now and up until last Friday, my answer has been a categorical ‘No! …

Do you really care what size the person you’re having sex with is?
Let me give you a brief background into why I set up a poll to ask your opinion on this. By the way the poll is on the right hand side of the home page of the site (just below popular posts so please take some time out to answer the poll).
I was chatting to two of my girlfriends (in separate conversations) a few days ago and all of us were stressing about the amount of weight we had put on. I was complaining that in the past week I had gained a kilo which is sitting around my waistline (add that to …

I am a sexually experienced woman who has had her fair share of sexual partners. I’m lucky to be able to say that most of it has been great sex. But it hasn’t always been that way. In fact, for most of my teenage and young adult years, I fought, losing the battle on almost every front, against this common sexual demon: the idea that virginity is a nuisance and not something to cherish.
I grew up pretty ‘pure’ and by the time I went to university, I had never been kissed. I saw the idea of my virginity as something to be proud of; I viewed sex as something to be shared between two people …

Part of my book:  Ghanaians & Sexuality
Sub-title: A Ghanaian Christian cringes in the face of her sexual thoughts. To her, it’s equal to Fornication, and she’s too holy for that!
Myth –buster: God created sex. Understand it. Know why it was created it. Appreciate it. Just don’t abuse the beautiful thang!
 
This book is full of my experiences with anything related to sexuality, on several facets. MY EXPERIENCES. Just so you can secretly relate, but feel free to blame/quote me. I don’t mind.
Shut up. I know you’ve all had this debate with yourselves before.
 
Me. Queen of Ice.
 
You.
 
You … where do I start?
 
You beast. You Strong man of my dreams. You idiot. You, the only man I …

Okay.
So what is this?
Don’t men or women ever go straightforward in love anymore?
Do we have to do this perpetual swan dance?
Makes me sick. What with the power play already?
 
I like you, and you saw it; and because you were also feeling something for me, you made the first move and asked me out. But I can’t handle someone taking the game outta my hands, so no I won’t go out with you. In fact, I’ve lost interest in you for asking me out.
It means you like me, and it means I have nothing to conquer. So, know what? Let’s just be friends for now.
Let’s just be friends? … For now?
What does that even mean? Is …

“Nana, why is it that people who are married want to get out of their marriage, and those who are not married want to get married?”
This is a question a friend posed to me a few days ago. Let me answer what I perceive as the simpler question first.
People want to get married (and here I speak specifically of the Ghanaian context) because we are brought up with the expectation that by a certain age we should be married. That’s just what happens (or so we are told) in our society. As a dutiful daughter, (or son) once you are ‘of age’ you get married. Our society does not expect you to sow your wild …