Dear Kwasi, Anytime that I want to leave you I hear my mother’s voice say “I know you’re a lawyer but make sure you don’t become one of those I-know-my-rights-women. Aboa pete dze ne kwasia pe nyinkyer”. You see, baby, I don’t want to become one of those I-know-my-rights-women.  I don’t want to be a ‘liberated woman’ who refuses to submit to the Eurocentric standard of beauty and so walks around in styles she claims are ...  [Read more]

Something worried at the fore of my consciousness dragging me out of sleep. I reached for my phone even before I opened my eyes and switched off the alarm. In the silence that followed, I could feel my body sinking deeper into the bed, starting to be carried along by a fresh wave of sleep. The noise from my phone sliced into my brain again and it was like being beached. Even my eyelids felt gritty. “What?” I said when I finally figured ...  [Read more]

Dear Missie (short version of Mistress), You probably expect this to be another article that condemns you and tells you you’re a horrible person for banging another woman’s husband.  You probably expect me to urge you to leave him. But I won’t say these things to you because I know you’ve heard them over and over again. How do I know? You see, Missie, I have been you before- once. Actually, I have been you five times. I have ...  [Read more]

Friday. 5.30pm. Time was of the essence. He had a plane to catch, I’d been stuck in traffic. There was only time to grab the cases, snatch a hug and a kiss goodbye before the dash to the airport. 5.32pm. The hug lasts thirty seconds too long, yet he doesn’t seem as anxious as I. He holds me and as we peel ourselves off each other, he asks, “Will you marry me?” Time stops… Having dated L for almost a year and a half, the question of ...  [Read more]

“Nana, why is it that people who are married want to get out of their marriage, and those who are not married want to get married?” This is a question a friend posed to me a few days ago. Let me answer what I perceive as the simpler question first. People want to get married (and here I speak specifically of the Ghanaian context) because we are brought up with the expectation that by a certain age we should be married. That’s just ...  [Read more]

I found myself getting irritated Saturday afternoon, I was at my favourite Auntie’s grooming & nails centre (Q’ticules & Nails, 8 Volta Street, Airport Residential) and the radio was tuned to Joy FM which was transmitting a live feed of the presentations being made at their Bridal Fair. I hadn’t been irritated throughout the presentations. In fact I had enjoyed the presentation by Bernice Sam who spoke about the legal aspects of marriage ...  [Read more]

Recently, one of our readers (Naa) mentioned in a comment that she has been enduring what I consider a HORRIBLE ordeal for the last 11 years. Her husband, who I assume she has been committed and faithful to (she didn't indicate that she has cheated on him), performs very poorly in the sack. Specifically, he is prone to premature ejaculation and has been for the duration of their marriage. Now, what one person deems as "premature" ejaculation ...  [Read more]

Last Saturday I was invited to be a guest commentator on Joy Fm’s “Home Affairs” programme, hosted by Araba Koomson. The topic was “why do people use sex as a tool in marriage?” One of my opening gambits was that for the majority of women, sex is not enjoyable; research such as that documented in the Shere Hite Report has indicated that 70% of women generally do not orgasm during sex. If you follow that logic this means a lot of ...  [Read more]