I just realised that it’s #InternationalMasturbationDay and for a moment I was like, “Whoa! Is that how come I felt like touching myself this morning for the first time in months?” I woke up just before 5am because I needed to pee, and when I came back to bed I made the mistake of checking my phone for messages. Cue an hour and a half of random whatsapps, and checking my timeline on Twitter. Predictably, half an hour before my …