It has long been a dream of mine to be fucked in Twi, my mother tongue.  To have the language I was scolded in as a child used on me in the bedroom until my body was defenseless against an imminent orgasm. The world of languages and lust first collided for me during a summer in Europe’s sin city: Amsterdam. I met David, an immigrant from Spain who sounded more Puerto Rican than Sevillian, window shopping in the Red Light District one afternoon. I was talking to the tattoo artist under the premise that I wanted to add to my body art collection when he derailed my query about Chinese characters to proposition me for …

I’m fairly comfortable in bed with men. Most men are really not that difficult to please are they? Sometimes they get off by just gazing at your boobs or arse. Others like to have their nipples sucked. Some want to watch you touch yourself. Most men love to have their dicks sucked…so what do you do when you meet a guy who only likes one of the above? Oh and that ‘one’ is watching you touch yourself. Surely you can’t do that more than once during a set sexual encounter?
So it was just my luck to have an encounter with a man whose erotic zones are his ears, balls and feet? Balls are easy, but …

This is a message I received recently from Ms E:
“…Nana…I have a problem and i really need your help. I have been going out with my boyfriend for the past three years and we haven’t had “penetrative” sex all this while. Before we started this relationship i told him that i was a virgin but the truth is that three years before i met him i had sex with another boy and just last year i had another with a different boy. He still thinks am a virgin and he keeps worrying me that he wants to do it. I also want him to have me but i am scared he will leave when he …

I was having dinner with a good friend a few hours ago, and she asked me if I could give her some tips for online dating. Well, well, well,  I definitely can. About four years ago I thought it would be a good idea to write a book called ‘How to Meet Mr Right on the Internet’, which of course called for lots of research. I remember there was one week when I went on a date every single day. Most dates were just ‘alright’. I usually met men in my local area (I lived in London at the time), had a coffee, pleasant conversation and afterwards went on my merry way home. You very …

Do you really care what size the person you’re having sex with is?
Let me give you a brief background into why I set up a poll to ask your opinion on this. By the way the poll is on the right hand side of the home page of the site (just below popular posts so please take some time out to answer the poll).
I was chatting to two of my girlfriends (in separate conversations) a few days ago and all of us were stressing about the amount of weight we had put on. I was complaining that in the past week I had gained a kilo which is sitting around my waistline (add that to …

I am a sexually experienced woman who has had her fair share of sexual partners. I’m lucky to be able to say that most of it has been great sex. But it hasn’t always been that way. In fact, for most of my teenage and young adult years, I fought, losing the battle on almost every front, against this common sexual demon: the idea that virginity is a nuisance and not something to cherish.
I grew up pretty ‘pure’ and by the time I went to university, I had never been kissed. I saw the idea of my virginity as something to be proud of; I viewed sex as something to be shared between two people …

Part of my book:  Ghanaians & Sexuality
Sub-title: A Ghanaian Christian cringes in the face of her sexual thoughts. To her, it’s equal to Fornication, and she’s too holy for that!
Myth –buster: God created sex. Understand it. Know why it was created it. Appreciate it. Just don’t abuse the beautiful thang!
 
This book is full of my experiences with anything related to sexuality, on several facets. MY EXPERIENCES. Just so you can secretly relate, but feel free to blame/quote me. I don’t mind.
Shut up. I know you’ve all had this debate with yourselves before.
 
Me. Queen of Ice.
 
You.
 
You … where do I start?
 
You beast. You Strong man of my dreams. You idiot. You, the only man I …

“Nana, why is it that people who are married want to get out of their marriage, and those who are not married want to get married?”
This is a question a friend posed to me a few days ago. Let me answer what I perceive as the simpler question first.
People want to get married (and here I speak specifically of the Ghanaian context) because we are brought up with the expectation that by a certain age we should be married. That’s just what happens (or so we are told) in our society. As a dutiful daughter, (or son) once you are ‘of age’ you get married. Our society does not expect you to sow your wild …

Maybe I’m reading too much into things but some of the responses in some of the articles on this website really struck me with the apparent deep convictions of those who engaged in premarital sex that what they did made them fall short in the eyes of god. The very words used to describe their experiences were quite instructive, particularly the word “impure.” I’ve long known this word to be linked to sexual interaction but it’s always sobering to see it still wielding the power it did all through the centuries. Sexual interaction, including intercourse, is by far a most wonderful way of expressing one’s love …

Yesterday I was privileged to be at the first meet-up for Queer Ladies of African Descent (QLAD), which took place in a Seneglase restaurant in uptown New York. I ate grilled tilapia, couscous and kelewele in the company of some of the nicest ladies I have met in a long while.
C and I were ‘doing’ kokonsa (gossiping) during the meeting about a party of 4 women and 1 man that were sitting to the right of our table. ‘Are they all his wives?’ C asked me…a little while later I nudged her, “Look, look she’s arguing with the other women. I heard her say, “He’s my husband”.
T & C have been in a relationship for …