Home General Issues My First Penis: Guest Contributor Dilda Reviews Adult Toy Store ‘Babeland’

My First Penis: Guest Contributor Dilda Reviews Adult Toy Store ‘Babeland’

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It’s not very often one gets to decide what their dick will look like”. With this chuckle-inducing thought and a half smile playing at my lips, I pulled open the unimposing glass doors of Babeland and stepped in. I was on a mission, to find a harness and dildo combination that was simple and straightforward enough for first time (girl-on-girl) use.

In spite of the shop’s unfortunate ‘playboy-mansion-esque’ name, my first impressions were very positive. The space was open, brightly lit and awash in calming pink and yellow pastel hues, the subtle (+)(-) logo cleverly hinted at the goods, and the three salesgirls chatting by the book section greeted me with very cheery hellos. I smiled back and immediately spotted the harnesses, mounted in all their leathery and buckled glory on a back wall, but decided not to march over there at once; there was lots more to see. I ambled over to the shelves on my right lined with all kinds of vibrators. The usual suspects were, of course, present – the Rabbit, Hitachi Wand, etc. – but so were a host of other curious looking and even more curiously named contraptions (the Sqweel, for example). I was tempted as I thought of my fairly plain vibrator, a Rabbit wannabe sitting somewhere in the recesses of my closet but I refrained, convincing myself that because it got the job (well) done every time, I didn’t need another. I liked that instead of crowding the shelves with boxes, they only had one of each item on display, which also meant that I could touch, feel and assess the strength of vibrations if I wanted.

Next to the ‘good vibrations’ section were the ‘lotions, potions and creams’ (to borrow an expression from elsewhere on this blog); lube, massage oils, nipple creams and lots and lots of condoms (brownie points for promoting safe sex!). At this stage in my exploration, one of the shop assistants wandered over and asked – in a way that convinced me she actually cared – whether I needed any help. I told her what I wanted and we walked over to the ‘wall of reins’ I had noticed when I first walked in. Even with her pixie haircut, grunge-ish garb, hippie bracelets and multiple piercings, she gave off a very warm, easy-going ‘girl-next-door’ vibe which made our subsequent discussion, (which could have been very awkward), surprisingly ‘normal’. She schooled me on the (de)merits of each type of harness (g-string versus over-the-leg), what qualities to look for (stability, material integrity, durability, vibration for the wearer, packing pouch) and used words like “thrusting” without flinching. I also noticed she was careful to say ‘partner’ when referring to the person with whom I would be using the device; (more points for not making assumptions because for all she knew it could have been for a husband who happens to like anal stimulation, or for a girlfriend). I could tell she was trying to sell me on a particularly gorgeous red leather harness with silver buckles, but for experimental use I considered it a little pricey (their harnesses run at around $100 and the dildos, sold separately, about half that).

Still undecided, we moved over to the ‘dick garden’, my nickname for the table that housed their dizzying array of third legs of all shapes, sizes and color, most with flared bases for fitting with a harness, some with vibrators, and a dark one called Woody. I even saw (and touched) some disconcerting replicas of limp penises for everyday wear (hence the packing pouch mentioned earlier). As I was trying to decide which of the beckoning curved heads to take home with me, I spotted what I was looking for: a decently priced simple harness + dildo combo aptly named “Bend Over Beginners’ Kit”. The friendly (flirting?) salesgirl told me I could try it on (over my clothes) and led me to a supply closet in the back of the shop that doubled as a ‘fitting room’. I was sold: the fit was snug, it had an optional vibrator for the wearer, the dick was not too big/small (5×1.25 inches). The only downsides were that the straps were too long and the dildo bright purple, but I could live with both. On my way to the register I saw their ‘wall of game’ lined with ‘BDSM lite’ merchandise: cuffs, pretty whips, blindfolds, etc.

My time at the register was equally as pleasant. For a small donation to some charitable sexual health organization whose name I cannot remember, I got free lube, a vibrator shaped like an innocuous little rubber duckie, and a coupon for 25% off my next purchase (again, how many vibrators does a person need?)! As I strode out of the shop, pretty pink shopping bag in hand and satisfied with my purchase, I thought about the (also free) fridge magnet they gave me that reads “laugh and don’t be afraid to make a mess”. I grinned… “Hear, Hear!”

‘Babeland’ brings battery powered goodness to you online (www.babeland.com), as well as at 4 retail locations: 3 in New York City, and 1 in Seattle.

6 COMMENTS

  1. I love Babeland! Visited one of their New York branches for the first time last February and bought a vibrator that looks like a mouse (as in computer mouse). I think i was just impressed with the fact that the mouse looking vibrator is charged via usb – how cool is that? You can charge your mouse looking vibrator in public and everyone would just think its a tech gadget (which it is of course)

  2. Now we know what to think next time we see you sitting innocently behind a computer. You’ll most likely be charging up for the evening!

    We love the articles here. It’s so refreshing to have an open-minded site like this for our African brethren and sistren. Give our site (omanbaforum) a visit when you have time. We’ll be happy to see you.

  3. My treaured possessions are in my bedside drawer lol!! This article brought to mind a very awkward moment at the airport in Lagos when an immigration official discovered my vibrator hastily packed in my hand luggage! Why I had to pack the vib for a 3 days stay in Lagos was a question I asked myself about a zillian times as I stood in front of this guy!

  4. @Omanba – Lol! Ironically I hardly ever use that vibe but that was the image I also had when I decided to buy it. I have visited your forum – it looks very busy though and I found it hard to navigate. I did visit your sex session (but of course) and was a tad dissapointed because the first couple of stories I saw were not original articles but pieces picked up from the net etc

    @Dede – Hmmm, even that bedside drawer scenario worries me…what if you have a guest (not someone you’re looking to get busy with), like your Mum and they open your bedside drawer. So out of curiosity what did the immigration officer ask or say, and what did you say in response?

    @All – I am a bit dissapointed that no one has really commented on the actual post – the few comments have been on my initial comment. How come?

  5. No words were exchanged, scenario played out with immigration officer holding it up, looking at me with a bewildered look on his face; me staring very hard at the floor and walls; everywhere apart from his face! he put it back and i moved on.

    i leave the issue of the bedside drawer to my husband to worry about. Frankly, i don’t care too much. my mother has already asked me to get her one and she is the only one whose opinion i worry about (apart from my husband’s). The only thing i’d like to change is the colour, it’s purple and i’d rather like a brown or ‘bronzey’ one.

    I’m actually going to be setting up a business dealing in sex toys soon: on a website and catalogue. Will let you know when it kicks off; hopefully before year ends.

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