Dentyne is launching a “Safe Breath” campaign in the US of A. At first, I scoffed at the idea, but then I realized that they are doing to public, and more importantly, couples, a huge service. In the video link below, Marlon Wayans implores a ubiquitous audience to practice safe breath every day.
Nowhere is this more advisable than first thing in the morning.
Morning sex is tremendously enjoyable, but it comes with an even more tremendous risk – the risk of turning your partner off with waga (bad breath).
I will raise my hand and play myself on the altar of sacrifice by sharing first-hand knowledge of the detrimental experience of bad breath.
Our family has been snowed in (iced in, to be more precise) all this week following a winter storm that swept through the southeast. Despite the weather outside, our respective employers demanded that we each return to work today. In defiance, we lay in bad as long as possible, dreading the cold outside. It’s unnatural for a human being to be that cold.
I initiated our intimacy this morning by climbing on top of him. As we stroked each other lovingly, he grew harder and harder, and began to whisper sweet words of love.
“I love you with all my heart, babe.”
“I love you too,” I whispered back. I let out a long, drawn out breath.
At the utterance of the word “too”, I felt him growing softer and softer until he was just limp and lifeless. I caught a whiff of my own breath.
Sweet heavenly mercy did it stink!
There was no reviving him and no regrouping after that. So instead of a few stolen moments of morning delight, I was left wet and ashamed with only my kaka to keep me company as I showered away my frustrations.
Let this be a lesson to all.