“Invite Mansa to that event you go to regularly,” said my friend Kojo to me via DM (direct message facility on twitter). She’s just moved back and wants to meet some new people. “Sure”, I responded.
Nana: Hey how are you doing? Kojo says you’re interested in coming along to x event.
Mansa: Is that what he said? I told him I want to meet someone to marry, and he advised me to come to x event with you. He said you’ve got the link up to the social scene in Ghana.
Cue side splitting laughter
Nana: He said what? Hahaha. X event is full of married men. 95% of the men who come there are married, and the 5% who are not…well you will know why they are not when you meet them.
This conversation reminded me of a conversation I had over 4 years ago with my Uncle when I was returning home to Ghana.
Uncle: Ho! Wait, and see. When you go to Ghana you will get married in less than a year.
Me thinking to myself: But I’m only just getting divorced now. I don’t think I want to be married in less than a year
And thank the Goddess I felt like that ‘cos even if I wanted to get married to a Ghanaian who lives in Ghana there is a serious paucity of eligible men for 30 something women such as myself.
Oh and I can imagine what you may already be thinking. You’re too fussy? You’re discriminating against people on the basis of class, income, age…? And all that is true so let’s move right along…
I think there are a serious lack of eligible men for 30 something year old women in Ghana because primarily men (and women) in Ghana get married at an early age. Mid to late twenties…and even more significantly they stay married. Even when they are unhappy, even when the passion has gone out of their relationship, even when…whatever the reason may be, they stay married. What they tend to do is take on mistresses, girlfriends, and whatever labels they may want to give their extra marital relationships.
So if you’re a 30 something year old woman wishing to move to Ghana and hoping to find a man (to marry) then I think you will find slim pickings indeed.
I would love someone to prove me wrong though. I constantly have 30 something old friends moving to Ghana/wishing to move to Ghana and asking me to hook them up with a man with whom they can have a serious relationship. I often tell them no such creatures exist. Or when I’m trying to help them I advice them to join a large church (cos you know these modern churches take the business of hooking up singletons very seriously). But if you’re a ‘secular’ woman, a non conventional woman like myself then I reckon you need to start thinking out of the box when it comes to relationships.
But people prove me wrong. Where can 30 something year old Ghanaian women go to meet eligible men in Ghana?