Home General Issues Feminists hate sex and other types of bullshit

Feminists hate sex and other types of bullshit

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Nana Malone’s final reading at the Ghana Voice Series yesterday was that of a love scene. At least that’s how she euphemistically described it. To my mind it was a sex scene, and that’s alright too. I love to read about sex. The good kinds of sex where there is pleasure, and moaning and oral…And in the case of Nana Malone’s scene, at least 3 mentions of the work cock.

COCK, COCK, COCK.

Come question time and this gentleman raises his hand to ask a question. I thought I didn’t hear him properly so I asked him if he could repeat himself and he said, (please allow me to to paraphrase)

“My name is Dr Something Something. Why would feminists have a problem with the piece you read? Feminists complain about the women who assert their sexuality in  music videos”.

Now because this was Nana Malone’s book reading I couldn’t jump and say what was on my mind which was:

Ehhh? What are you talking about? Who said any feminist would have a problem with the love/sex scene that Nana Malone just read? This was sex between 2 consenting adults, pleasurable sex, and isn’t that the best kind of sex to have? The issue of the hyper sexualisation of women in music videos is a completely different subject. And the issue is not that women are asserting their sexuality in music videos. Nope, far from it. The issue is that the music industry which is dominated by men perpetuate a one dimensional view of women – women in thongs or little scraps of nothing – dancing for the pleasure of men dressed in jeans, trousers, shirts. You don’t see anything wrong with this picture? Does that seem to you to be an assertion of women’s sexuality? Puh leeze!

So just to clear any remnants of doubt in your mind let me reassure you that Feminists love sex (at least this particular feminist does). We love the kind of sex that’s consensual, pleasurable and soul healing. That’s why we complain when women in music videos are there as props for the male gaze. And its the same reason we speak up against anything that takes away from a woman’s bodily integrity – be it the cutting of a woman’s genitalia or a state’s desire to control a woman’s body. In fact its the feminist’s love for sex that has led her (and yes there are feminist men too) to study women’s sexuality, write erotica for women, and (cue shock, horror) produce feminist pornography. It’s all for the love of sex.

Photo credit: Kwaku David Photography
Photo credit: Kwaku David Photography

 

 

19 COMMENTS

  1. Nana, unlike you, I couldn’t have restrained myself. Well done for not letting Mr. Dr. take the focus off Nana Malone’s work. But if you meet him in town, please tell him that feminists like amazing sex not the kind that only pleases one person. Nkwasiasem akwaakwa.

  2. I’m not sure if you could tell or not, but I was trying very hard not to call him a moron 🙂

    I was glad you asked him to repeat the question because I wasn’t sure I had heard him correctly.

    The feminists I know love sex. Shoot, I consider myself a feminist. I write about strong women who enjoy their sexuality and won’t have it defined it by men.

    Sigh…. Sisi, you and I are very good about restraining ourselves.

  3. @ 🙂 Ha! Hopefully I won’t recognise him if I see him again. I actually looked for him after the reading but he had disappeared

    @Nana Malone – Cuz, I loved your response to each and every question. You were just on point with everything, and I thought you answered his question with humour and grace-just as you should. Me too o, almost all the feminists I know are low key obsessed with sex.

    @Kofi – He really did Kofi. And where were you and your Mom?

  4. How coincidental, I’ve had it on my mind to ask that Feminism be explained to me… I’m more of the No Labels & Tags kind of individual, but that would occur in my ideal world and not the real world.

    I’ve been tempted to label Feminism contradictory and hypocritical, promoting double standards as opposed to a standard (across board) but then I realised I know very little about Feminism and peut etre my perspective’s informed by proponents of various forms of feminism or by individuals with skewed or contaminated versions of feminism..

    So Nana, for the love of pancakes, in a piece or series of pieces, please enlighten us… Might be a good use of the Forum Nnenna’s referred to…
    Cheers.

  5. Yeah, I wasn’t sure I heard the guy correctly either. I couldn’t understand why a feminist or feminist in general would have a problem with the sex/love/cock scene that Nana Malone had read. Since I have never study feminism, I thought he was aware of some aspect of the movement that I had not encountered! After all, he was a whole Dr, innit? Credentialed and everything…

  6. Ebenezer, I have written your name in the book of life for that comment about the forums!

    Eh-he, me I would have told him outright o! Nana D I think you should have said something so that Nana Malone would not lose a buyer for her book. Take the heat and put him in his place as well as educate him and others who share his view, then Nana Malone comes in and soothes everything. It’s called ‘Good Cop, Bad Cop’.

    I should have been there!!!

  7. @Ebenezer, I love pancakes and so I went to the forums and started one called ‘What is feminism(s)’ so you all can go over there and we can chat.

    Ei I didn’t realise that the forums were active o. I have been missing out. Will start checking it out more regularly.

    @Malaka – Proof that Drs do not necessarily know everything 😛

    @Nnenna – This was doing a Q&A with the author. I wanted to jump in and respond but I thought that would have been rude, and me grabbing the spotlight…Nana dealt with him diplomatically though 🙂 She had no need for my Bad Cop routine on this occassion

  8. Nana, I read your reply and I am now a bit more confused. Case in point, girls in music video as titillation for men: wouldn’t you say that feminism should actually be able to trust and respect a woman’s right to portray herself in whatever image she wishes to pursue? It seems to me that you are essentially saying that if the end result is not to my liking then it is a sign of male dominated ‘serfdom.’ Surely, the women in these videos are doing it of their own free will.

    • @Babyjet – You’re insulting my intelligence. If something is not to my liking then its a sign of male dominated serfdom? And when did I say that or imply that? This is going to be my last comment on this topic. I’m not in the business of converting anybody to feminism. What I have done here is to share my thoughts on the question ‘is it anti-feminist to sleep with another woman’s man’? and my answer is no it is not. I can see how it is damaging to ‘sisterhood’ but its not anti-feminist in my opinion. Not all feminists would share my view, take Ekuba as a case in point, and I respect her very well expressed views which give me pause for thought and create room for the possibility of me changing my mind. At the this point in time however my answer is no for all the reasons I have previously stated.

      If you wish to learn more about misogyny in music you can try a couple of these links and you tube videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=UkQd0Tk7_mQ#at=546 and http://www.msafropolitan.com/2012/08/on-bitch-bad-by-lupe-fiasco.html and http://www.msafropolitan.com/2010/11/on-runaway-by-kanye-west.html

      • @ Nana Darkoa: This is just an aside but I wanted to tell you that I really appreciate the fact that you allow people to express different opinions on your blog & are very respectful to people even when they point out issues they have with you. Sometimes, I go to other blogs where people literally argue with anyone who disagrees with them & even blocks their comments so I think it’s refreshing that you’re different.

        • Oooh but before I go Ekuba I just want to say your views even when they are different from mine are always expressed in ways that make me stop and think. I was reading your comment about ‘colluding with polygamy’, and I thought ‘Okay, I haven’t thought about that before, you have a point’, and I appreciate comments like that. Comments that make me reflect and reconsider a position. So well done for being the kind of person who gives critical feedback in a constructive way. Its a skill that all of us need to continuously work on.

      • OK Nana, my understanding of AF was that it was a space to satisfy curiosity, intellectual, simple titillation or otherwise. So interrogating some of the premises of what is written, I would contend is a very good thing. Anyway, i suspect that there are some settle premises which are not open for much interrogation or litigation. Anyhoo, It is a shame that we’ve come to the end of a cul de sac on feminism.

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