(Video) 2013: My shitty sex life so far…

124
78

Gosh this vlog seems a lot more revealing than blogging ever did. You should see my face right now. I am like, yikes, should I put this up? Surely I should have dressed up, put on some make up, outlined my thoughts, been more engaging…

Anyway, here it is. My first ever vlog on a shitty sex life in 2013, cos you know, sex bloggers are not always having that great a time in the bedroom (or out of it).

What has your sex life been like in 2013. Share, share, share…you can even do your own video if you wish πŸ™‚

78 COMMENTS

  1. Hmm……this does not sound too crappy for me….on the contrary, i think you are quite adventurous….ok maybe seven or eight encounters the whole year ain’t enough…but hey, you have four more months to get ya groove on….love the vlog

  2. “He spat into the sink” *sigh* talk about clit-killer! That stuff sucks!

    Enjoying the vlog! Keep it up!

    “He was overly fond of emoticons” – STOP THE MADNESS! LMAOOOOOO!!!!

    • @Lois, I have never experienced that ish in my life. I was kinda frozen in shock. I mean, I’m a clean healthy woman. I get tested for STDs regularly. If you don’t want to go down, don’t go down but don’t go down on me and then spit into a sink! Its not like I squirted into your mouth. Mtcheww

  3. love the blog! thank you (as always) for honesty! And hey — you are getting more love than a lot of people! LOL Plus, you still have around 125 days to go…

    p.s the emoticons! dies!

    • Awww hun. Thank you for watching the vlog when I hadn’t released it to the world yet, and reassuring me like you always reassure me. I love you much. Yes o. Overuse of emoticons is a crime

  4. And how will your sex life not be shitty when you have refused to date me, Nana Darkoa? There are soooo many ways that I could make your sex life not shitty. I’m just saying lol. Yaaaay! I’m super happy that you did the vlog!!! I loved it and am going to listen to it again.

  5. Nana, you got 99 problems, but sex is not one of them oo!! Eiiiiiii. You have them on speed dial, what’s app and what have you. I think the problem is the quality. Sounds like you’ve been having lackluster sex. My advise: Find a Gambian. You’ll be drilled properly to a point of no return and no vlogging!

    As for the one that is spirring, I hope his number is erased. Who does that?? Mschew!

    • @AM: are you a Gambian? From what Nana D said she’s not that much into penetration as much as she’s into oral sex so maybe the drilling wont help erh?… And that is where I come in- Nana D, if you’re reading this: I have ALL the assets to ensure that your sex life becomes & remains unshitty for-evah! πŸ™‚

      • But you know the really funny thing @Ekuba, I’ve actually missed penetration now…I think having so little has made me crave some good penetration. No drilling though. I beg I am not an oil well.

      • @ Ekuba,

        Oh dear, I’m not a Gambian, BUT their game is on point-both oral and penetrative.

        @ Nana,

        You are most certainly not an oil well, and English came by boat for me.. What I meant is that you are going to have the time of your life.

    • Am you cracked me up as always! Yes o, to a certain extent you are right. My challenge is not a lack of partners who are willing to *ahem* drill me, but somehow there are a lot of people that I do not want to sleep with again, and then the one or two I want to sleep with are not available (live far away, travel constantly for work, couldn’t get it up). Ei Gambians eh? Is that why the older oyibo woman keep travelling there. Me I’m afraid of their President o.

      • Nana, you even have more that are not readily available for one reason or the other.Eiiiiiii this woman. You are blessed. Start to count your blessings name them on by one.

          • You dis ghel, you don’t know what drought is! Drought is not seeing a penis for months and when you see one you begin to tear up in glee and before the do, get on your knees to thank God for his everlasting mercies. Drought, ke? You are highly blessed and favored of The Lord, thus far.

  6. Very very interesting vlog, I will say. Natural, no filters, brutally honest and an excellent selfie!

    2013 has seen my super duper best sex life year since I got to know of what powers my willy contains. In previous years (5), I could have counted the number of encounters but not so this year.
    In the past 8 months, I have had friends with benefits (where I literally walk through the door snytime i get the itch) and several others. Unfortunately, I am going on a year of celibacy before I get married.
    In short, 2013 has been such an orgasmic bliss for my loins πŸ™‚

    PS: As much as I wouldn’t spit out pussy juices into a bathtub, I don’t recall the last time any girl swallowed my semen either. I don’t think it should be about whether one spits out the juices or guts them. Nicely disposing them off though should atone for any ill will be it from a pussy or dick!

    • @ VancouverB: woah wait- the 1 year celibacy starts from now? and the 8 months friends with benefits (fwb) thingy has been this whole year till now?was there a gap between the fwb stage & the being celibate while waiting to get married stage? Was your fiancee a fwb or did she exist side by side with the other fwbs? so many questions!

      • @ Ekuba: Emmm, a paragraph full of questions…Where do I even start from??

        1. My self-imposed celibacy started about a month ago after the woman I had been chasing all my adult years finally caved in.
        2. The 8 months fwb started exactly on Jan 1, 2013..lol. How I got myself into that position is a whole tale of theses.
        3. I just dropped all fwbs the day my girl gave in.
        4. My fiancee was not part of my network of fwbs…lol. She lives over 4000Km away from me (and that was done with an intent). I somehow have an interesting theory about premarital coitus which reading from your writings is alien to your views. Misteriously, I lose interest in any girl who allows me into her sanctum even if i started off wit the intent of a long term relationship.

        • @ VancouverB: hahaha, you’re the 3rd guy in as many days who thinks I have ultra liberal views about pre-marital sex. I wonder what I did to make all of you think that way πŸ™‚ Guy number 1 commented on a blog post I wrote 2 days ago & I am still waiting for his explanation. You are guy number 2 & Guy number 3 has been chasing me for several months & just sent a text which made me know he thinks that way too… but I digress: I’m glad that the woman you’ve been chasing your entire adult life has caved in & I wish both of you perfect marital bliss! Since both of you haven’t done each other yet & you’re planning not to, are you anxious about how things will turn up between both of you in bed? Will you be tempted to cheat if you marry & you don’t feel the sex part? (I’m sure she’ll be hot in bed though, am just asking)

          • Lol @ Ekuba:
            1. I actually do not think those are ultra-liberal views especially if you want to posit them in the African societal context. I wasn’t raised up in the homeland but I have heard numerous tales of parents (including my grannies) finding out if their sons “have tested the cars they’re intending to buy”. Actually, that seems like the norm unless your parents are ultra-conservative African Christians.

            2. I am planning not to have it with her not just for the obvious reasons as stated, But also because she “claims to be a virgin” and I would rather break her waters at a special time.
            Interestingly, a few weeks ago, I had visited her and we almost did it because she was so wet and that is my “numero uno” turn on. Only a bit of my super-ego saved the day!

            3. I am very very aware that I may be getting someone who is truly a virgin which may pose some challenges. Few examples here:
            a)She was such a bad kisser and almost always used her teeth till I corrected her and gave her some crash courses on the art of kissing. She’s now better than me…lol
            b)During one of our recent escapades, she wanted to find out how big I was while in my jeans (pants) as she caressed it and the brusies she left on my stick took a week to heal!!!
            All that nonwithstanding I am very relaxed about it since she has shown some interest in learning from me when the time comes.

            4. With regards to cheating, NO, i don’t intend to even if she turns out to be very horrible in bed. I have never cheated and would rather coach her to get better at it.

    • Hehehehe. I should have done the #nofilter in my tag of the video. Thanks for noticing the selfie too πŸ™‚

      So everybody else has been having a great time whilst I’ve been gnashing eh? Yoo, its good for you all.

      I hear you on no one should be forced to swallow if they don’t want to swallow but I seriously don’t see how you can spit out pussy juice. It means you were not really licking and sucking. You were just letting that ish collect in your mouth till the other person came. Its not like how a guy cums when he ejaculates. Do you get me? Plus if you’re concerned for health reasons use a dam, condom or something. That’s what put me off that guy in particular. He called me the other day going, ‘Hey what’s up?’ and all I could see was him spitting into the sink. What are you trying to tell me? If I’m going down on a guy and I don’t want to swallow, I make sure he is inside me before he cums

  7. @ Nana D. You r one honest bold liberated African woman indeed. U know how to bring us back here always wanting more. Gud work.

    @ Ekuba? How r u faring wid ur self imposed celibacy?

    • @fordewhere – I’m hardly bold or liberated. I always find it odd when people describe me as such. If I was describing myself in the context of this blog I would use words like ‘foolhardy’, ‘impulsive’, ‘oversharer’. I’m glad I contribute to bringing you back here. I got that good good…

    • @fordewhere: technically & if we’re using bill clinton’s definition(oral sex is not sex) or queen Victoria’s definition (2 women cannot have sex) then I’m still celibate. Truthfully speaking, I broke it by (since we’re talking about bill) doing a ‘monica lewinsky’ on a girl- my next door neighbor & she returned the favor. THE END

  8. Spat into the sink? Spat into the sink???!!! Who the heck does that? Dude, i literally fight with my lovers over sharing my own cum…who the heck wastes a lovely woman’s juice and spits it into a sink? If i were you Nana D, i would never speak to that guy again unless he went down that drain and brought my juices back up. What a vajeje dryer! *rant over*

  9. @VancouverB, can you please explain why you lose interest after sleeping with a woman? I seem to be hearing this a lot from guys; i havent really experienced it with any guy ive slept with but some guys tell me about it. I really dont understand it and i find it quite disturbing.
    @ Ekuba, hun i thought you didnt do womyn? Was this your first? And can we have some more disclosure please? πŸ™‚

    • @ Naa Adjeley and Ekuba: I’m not sure I have a really nerdy response to that question and I have tried hard to dig my conscience and faculties to come up with this. Remember, I;m no sociologist. My world deals with human and mammalian tissues.

      1. I believe, somewhere in my subsconcious faculty, I’ve been socialized to reason that whatever you gain easily has a low chance of being good quality. In a sense, my estimation of a “true marriage material” or long-term partner is defined by how hard the chick makes it for me to get close to her “Akosua small”. I’m fully aware of how nonsensical and BS this sounds but that’s unfortunately my little world. In time past when I have tried to unleash my mind from this sort of mental slavery, my subconscious has prevailed over my conscious and I have since shunned away from that battle.
      BTW: I don’t know if the same will happen with my current partner even though she’s taken me through 5 years of hard labor before finally giving in.

    • @ Naa Adjeley: eiii, who told you? I do womyn papa! It just isn’t a side of my life that I have, hitherto,discussed on this blog or anywhere else & I don’t know why but i don’t really like talking about it. In fact, until this year, I used to pretend & lie to all my friends that I’d never been with a woman before, I don’t know why I used to do this and some of my friends read this blog so am sure they’ll kill me after reading this comment lol you’ve put me in trouble!That is all I’m going to say for now! Any further explanations MUST be accompanied by ‘practical demonstrations’ lol
      @ AM: don’t laugh at me o aaaah, i don’t like that!
      @ Vancouver B: we all have our preferences & so if you prefer your future partner to be someone you haven’t slept with, then you have every right to your preference. besides, like you said, people can always learn & she seems like a very good student lol who knows, maybe she also has a trick or 2 up her sleeve that she can teach you erh?

      • @Naa Adjeley: confession time:actually, I think I never really talked about liking women & I lied to my friends/ pretended that I was only into guys cos I generally don’t talk about that part of my life since it means a lot to me you know? I think as ‘open’ as I seem on this blog and as ‘open’ as i am with my friends in real life, there are parts of myself that I never talk about- ie: the parts that truly mean a lot to me. So the actual truth is that, although I enjoy being with both guys & girls, the few times that I’ve been totally, truly, whole-heartedly in love have been with a woman. & if I lived in another era (or came from a Western country) there’s no way I’d end up married to a man- I’d definitely marry a woman. Because as much as I’ve blogged about loving men & enjoying shagging them etc, the true loves of my life (2 people) have been women. THE END (truly this time πŸ™‚ )

        • @Ekuba,

          I’m sippin tea with a smile!! You go girl! πŸ™‚ Question, do you approach the women or do they approach you??

          Why would you have to be in the West to follow your heart? Is it because most African countries criminalize homosexuality, and it’s culturally looked down upon? Can’t you not pursue a relationship back home as you would in the States. I mean granted the impediments, it would be difficult but not totally undo able?

        • Herh Ekuba! So you’ve been lying to us all this while? Youve been a very, very naughty girl…Now, i’m going to have to punish you. Go to MY room! πŸ˜‰

          • @NaaAdjeley: mmm, you’ve hit a soft spot! lol. you know how i love to be ‘punished’ & spanked….eiii but this punishment di333, it’s only in YOUR room that it is dispensed. hmmm.
            @AM: I have never ever in my 28 years approached a woman in Ghana & never will. eii, do i not fear for my life? lol. outside Ghana, i sometimes smile at a woman, look at her till she comes over to chat. at least that’s how my next door neighbor & I ended up getting it on. HOwever, the 2 people i said it happened with in GH are all people whom i’ve known for a maximum of TEN years as my best friends. one of them, we started hooking up when i slept over at her room in uni. the other one, we started hooking up when she stayed over at my hostel in law school. in wasn’t even about ‘hooking up’ at least not for me. i loved them in a way that i’ve never loved any man (although that doesnt mean i’ve not loved men in diverse ways eg. my ex whom i shall call tony neither does it mean that i’ve not enjoyed sex with those guys. but being with the 2 ladies was a tad bit hotter. why will i never marry a woman? marriage for me is more than being in love etc. getting along with my family is a HUGE portion of what will make me settle down with someone. i can never see my family accepting a lesbian partner of mine (my mom will die of heart attack if she knew i have even dated women). Plus, it’s not as convenient in Gh as it is abroad to date a woman: the judgment, you will never be considered a couple, adopting a child wont be easy- it’s just hard & i prefer easy so…if i meet a woman i love, then i’ll just resign myself to never marrying & i’ll enjoy dating her for life & if i meet a man i love, then we’ll marry.

          • @ Ekuba,

            Thanks for the insightful and very elaborate response. Lol @ the heart attack. I sure would tell my mom if I were a lesbian, because the dramatics that would ensue would be enough comedy to last me a lifetime and everyone around.

  10. Fantastic vlog!! Omg I’ve totally had the spit in the sink moment. So off putting. For the rest of the tryst my mind wasn’t on it at all.

    I’m envious of how you can get action with seeming ease. How did you get to this fabulous place?!

    • Hi Ireti, I’m smiling at the idea that I can get action with seeming ease. Hehe. How did I get to this fabulous place? I’m not in any fabulous place… yet. Now back to action with seeming ease. A few years ago I decided to consciously sleep with a lot more people. For the most part these relationships fell under the ‘friends with benefits’ tag. I’m a great friend, and hopefully a decent lover. I’ve stayed friends with the vast majority of these FWBs, and even though I no longer fancy sleeping with most of them, there are a few who are only a whatsapp away if I need an itch scratched. And yay, I’m glad you think this vlog is fantastic. Tell us about your own spit in the sink moment. I need to know that I’m not alone in this situation…

    • Lol MASI, the picture was from the day that I was doing my ‘sexy intellectual’ selfie. Ha ha ha maybe all that trying to pose, snap a picture whilst remaining Sexy and intellectual unconsciously chucked me

  11. Loved the vlog! I have been a visitor to the site for years now, but never commented before. The vlog is a welcome addition. Keep up the great work! Must say that I have never experienced that spitting thing, but it would blow the hell out of me (now I have some things to consider lol). And yes, the quality shag struggle is very, very real…

    • Thank you for getting me AA. I think part of the problem is that the quality shag also needs certain stars to be aligned just so – feeling totally comfortable with the other person is a big one, and if you’re having casual sex (like I have been mainly doing) then that level of comfort is not always 100%. Plus you may not have gotten to the stage where the person knows your body THAT well etc. I love it when a blog post (or in this case a vlog) inspires someone to comment for the first time, so now that you have broken the ice keep the comments coming okay?

  12. It was inevitable that I’d weigh in.. this is too much fun.. But Nana, yes, contrary to the majority of the opinions here, I think I agree with you… oversharing (meaning that reading this is a guilty pleasure).. runs through this. Just so everyone knows, I’m a good (right, Nana?) friend of Nana’s offline, but I feel whenever i see her that I know too much about her sex life. It’s not exactly uncomfortable, or bad, it’s eerie. So, just like she sees the guy spitting in the sink, I see the guy spitting in the sink when I’m around this beautiful woman. I don’t know what to say.. I think her work on this blog is important.. I think this vlog was brilliantly done and produced. On the balance, her call, as always.

    Now, this gets me back to where I thought I was going with this. After years of having heedless sex of many possible varieties (all hetero), I felt it all beginning to pall, I wasn’t very interested, and I began to think that I was more interested in getting to know the women i had sex with than in having sex with them. Anyhow, I developed a strong interest in a woman Nana knows, and nursed it for a large chunk of the year, during which I continued to find it difficult to sleep with other women, to the point where I’m not sure whether I’d had sex with anyone this year… (No, not true, entirely, but it felt that way).. But well, well, well, just when I thought that I was being ridiculous and was about to go back to my days as a libertine, I fell in love.. and it’s like a movie. Upshot: clearing the brush reveals the gorgeous fruit higher up in the tree.. At least it worked that way for me.

    • @Kofi – I consider you a VERY good friend, and I really value your feedback. Plus I’m beyond happy that you are in love, and its all like a movie. Its just such a shame that you’ve refused to write for the blog because you could now have painted this technicolour image of love for all of us. I hear you. I really do. I definitely do not want people seeing me and imagining all other types of things including people spitting in sinks. Yikes. Hmmm. The line, the line, the line, its hard for me to see it sometimes, and balance my overarching goals of the purpose I want Adventures to serve, and my personal self. Does that make sense? I think in time (probably sooner rather than later) I am going to have to share less, as well as share less personal scandalous details mainly because there is a whole bunch of other stuff I want to do in life (not sexuality related) and sometimes I feel like people know me mainly for Adventures, and not all the other stuff I do πŸ™‚

      • I think you are a very good friend, too.. and a truly special person.. And honestly, when I see you, I really never think of anything but the usually brilliant conversation we are having. When I read your work, as I’ve told you before, I just think you and Malaka are genius…

        Write for the blog? Chale, I don’t have the chops… Maybe one day the subject itself will call me and it will right itself.. ?

        • “Maybe one day the subject itself will call me and it will right itself.. ?

          If it won’t right itself, can it write itself?

          @Nnenna… you… what? πŸ˜€

        • you seem like a decent guy (ie:you appear to respect women a lot) & I enjoy reading your comments about your views on stuff so i’d really like to read a blog post about your view on anything (i guess related to sex & relationships). i know you always say you don’t think you would write an interesting blog post but i think you will & yours will be poles apart from the few chauvinistic post that one or two male bloggers here have unfortunately written.

      • @NanaDarkoa: Hey, hey, hey! Point of correction- Overseas kayas who are ready & willing to do ‘the job’. I mean, with skype, viber & tango, you have no idea how hot cross-atlantic, cyber sex has become these days…

      • Ah, that comment cannot have been meant for me surely? I am not a Konongo…thingy o! I fully appreciate that I am not available to carry load so why not find another porter? πŸ˜€ No need to stand in the market, sweat pouring down your face, hot sand burning up your feet, barrow boys bearing down on your and your goods, while you just wait for head porter. Head porter is the best yes, but other people’s backs will just have to do!

  13. I think it’s fair to say the spitting thing has us all stumped. I mean, what is the protocol for when a guy spits our your juices? To be fair, I’ve never swallowed when I’ve gone down on a guy and I don’t see myself ever doing it. However in the woman on man context, I think it’s to be expected.
    I would DIE if a guy got up and spit after he went down on me. The worst/closest thing I’ve experienced is when he went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. Things were very awkward after that… with his minty fresh breath.

  14. @NanaDarkoa Mine was with a steady lover, I noticed after going down on me he would leave the room and I started to suspect. So I stepped out after him one day and he was in the bathroom spitting and rinsing his mouth :(. Lol, I had to ask there and then if i tasted that bad because I was mortified but he said he just wasn’t used to it… I was the first apparently.

    Hmm I too shall decide to have more sex, hopefully the universe sends me fine African people that fit the bill ;-).

  15. Nana you are an attractive woman with a decent life and a job with a salary ? So why cant you decide what you want. Is it a husband, a regular man to give you what you want whatever that is, a regular shag or just a good fuck with whoever is available. maybe a baby. In the modern world the choice is yours. Its about give and take what wont you do ?

  16. As a man I have to ask: Is it okay if I sometinee wash my face after I go down on my wife? Or am I secretly offending her? I’m asking because even though I love giving head and the taste of pussy, my chin and goatee end up sticky sometimes. Can’t sleep with that feeling.

    • Great question JK, that scenario had completely not crossed my mind. I hadn’t even thought of pussy juices getting into beards and stuff. I say wash away πŸ™‚ I’m thinking it can just come across as part of your preparation for bed…

      • I should probably just ask and see how she feels. She probably doesn’t mind since I more than make up for it by giving head 5 times as many times as I receive it.

        • @JK- Please let us know what she says when you ask…curious minds and all that.

          @Nnenna – Ah, you know I wasn’t assuming that JK only goes down at night πŸ™‚

          Hmmm, baby wipes, I dunno, personally I would rather my lover goes to the bathroom and washes his face so I don’t think, ‘he’s wiping himself off’ after me, but everybody’s different. Ask wifey and let us know

  17. Assuming he only gives his wife head before they go to bed at night…

    I say buy a couple of wet wipes. Or tell her about the sticky feeling. It’s the same way I hate honey masks. They are just too sticky!

  18. oh my my my I loved the video……boi you are rocking it miss. He spat after going down on you? I hope you terminated his services for good lol.

  19. […] was a comment that Mike made on my vlog about β€˜2013: My shitty sex life so far’. I gasped when I read it and started laughing. That’s the perennial existential question […]

  20. Hehehe. Reminds me of a past experience then in my first year in campus. I met dis older girl who liked me sooo much n wanted to use me as a pet. When she found out I don’t suck pussy, she took her time preaching n explaining to me why I needed to suck pussy.
    I tried it first day but cudnt cos I was disappointed pussy tasted salty unlike d impression its d sweetest thing.
    On the second attempt, I got a bucket, kept it beside d bed. I kept sucking and spitting into it. By the time I was done, d bucket was half filled from my spitting.
    That was d last day with her cos she said I failed woefully.

    I saw her years later. She was was married. She reminded me of it, we laughed endlessly over it. I assured her am a pro now but she wasn’t convinced and needed me to prove that.

    Well I will end it here.

    Nana u are a beautiful african. Nice blog you got. Keep it up.

  21. @ Aby and Nnenna NwanyiOma.
    Well I did and I can assure you she enjoyed it. She was impressed. Its a long story that’s why I couldn’t spill it all here.

    I am up for an adventure in PH, Rivers St tomorrow being Saturday. I will be with two of my matured minded bisexual friends. We been friends from facebook to BBM for over a year and 6months but never met before.

    I will spill it all out.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.