Top 5 things that run through my mind during sex (if I think them all simultaneously, it’s really bad):
- (He is going down on me) Why does this remind me of a carwash every time? They say it’s difficult to find a big woman’s clit but how come I find it so easy by myself?
- Don’t put your finger in my ass again; if it is possible for me to predict the exact time you’re going to.
- Put me over your lap and spank/massage my ass.
- Are you into role play? A little BDSM? God I hope you are. I am dying to be a sub for someone worthy.
- Can we watch gay porn first?
Truth: I have only ever had an orgasm by my own hand. Also, I had mediocre sex for a very long time but that has drastically improved. It is so sad I want to weep all the time. I turn 30 this year and nothing. I love sex so much, I am weeping. How sad is this? A woman having orgasmless sex in 2015. I know I should speak up more about what I like and don’t like in the bedroom, I know. The other person always seems to have such a good time though! I get off on it.
When faced with almost any Kenyan man, these are very problematic things to say out loud LOL. See the way us women dream about Prince Charming? I dream about King Got-Me-Dickmatized.
That man who will have me swinging my hips as I walk back from the office parking lot with so-obvious sex hair. I want people to gossip. To say how I look stoned and zoned out happy all the time. I want to not give a shit about how the old lady who lives across from me comes to the window immediately my door cracks open. I want to do some irresponsible shit because of sex. Bucket list stuff.
I want to have surprisingly amazing, nasty sex. Problem is, I always expect The King to come ready made. What if I have to teach him stuff? Won’t it lose its meaning then? Will I have to pay for it maybe? (LOL this crossed my mind last night, swear I would). Seriously though, how am I telling a man to instruct me not to wear panties to work? It doesn’t work that way.
Anyone else feel me on this?
P.S : I am bisexual, so if The King happens to be a butch Queen, I wouldn’t mind.