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A response to: ‘If a man wants to sleep with a woman, how should he approach her?’


Inspired by Malaka’s post I thought I would write a post for all those men who seem to think they must promise marriage/trick women into having sex with them. Here are my top 8 tips for heterosexual men who want to sleep with heterosexual/bisexual women. These tips work for me, hopefully they might work with other women too. Good luck!


  1. Let me know you desire me. Let me see it in your eyes, the way you look at me. Let me sense you checking me out from across the room. Desire is very sexy, and sometimes desire begets desire.
  2. Tell me you want me – that you want to have sex with me. I may be initially shocked at your boldness but directness is hot. And there is nothing as hot as someone wanting you.
  3. Be explicit about what you want to do to me. Do you want to run your lips over my body, will you tease me until I can’t hold out any more. Will you go down on me and stay down until I cum thrice?
  4. Be attractive! Attraction is more than physical. If you’re so fine and have a certain je ne sais quoi I will put out so many signals that I will really be the one doing the approaching.
  5. Be super talented at something arty. Anything. Be a musician, painter, artist, photographer, film maker… Art is sexy.
  6. Be smart. Nerds are super cool. Nerds are so cool that they spend time figuring out what works for women, and implement that with a nerdy sexiness.
  7. Let me know you’re available whenever. Don’t harass me. Just be there. One day you might just get a booty call when I’m horny. And when you get that call…
  8. Be AMAZING in bed. Like seriously. Know that your dick isn’t the be all and end all. Lips, fingers and tongue exist for a reason. If I have sex with you once and its amazing, you can cum back anytime.


Are you a straight woman? What does a man have to do to make you want to have casual sex with him?


Black couple Having Sex


  1. I agree with the point about being direct. A man should be bold, in control, show forth a quiet confidence in his sexual abilities and let that air of confidence communicate all he’d want to do to me with the little things-a look, a word, a touch.
    He should be curious to know me- my mind especially, and not just my body. Hey, I’m not looking for a serious relationship if it’s just about casual sex but it does add to the intrigue of it all if he can stimulate my mind in addition to my lady parts. Lol.
    Man, be as sexy on your feet and great in bed as you can. But also be someone I can randomly call to have an intellectual exchange with and mess around with at the same time.

  2. Excellent list, Nana, wishing you only 8/8s all the days of your life 😉 I would add:
    Passion – this could be partly linked to the talent/art thing – it’s sexy to see someone get high on something they love.
    Listening – not that we necessarily need to have looong deep meaningful conversations, but it’s hard to imagine that someone who is not attentive and intuitive in conversation could be that way as a lover.


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