I started on the Afrosexology 9-day Intercourse challenge, yes, it is exactly as it sounds, all about sex, sexuality, bodies and more sex.
Day Three was aptly themed self-love and I instantly thought ooooh pleasure…fingers…my favorite purple Durex vibrating bullet and a sweaty heated moment I had with myself last night.
But as I listened to the video, which for context sake is a video interview with 10 Black people of diverse identities reflecting, talk about making a girl comfortable with joining the challenge! Anyway, as I listened, the topic on body size was brought up, a topic that took so many years from my life and denied me of pleasure for so many years.
There is this two part idea of big bodies, where on one end we remain unfuckable because we’re so ‘fat’ and on the other end we are permanent objects of various fetishes, we even have multiple categories on Pornhub and so boys and men take one look at us in public and give us a stank eye because how dare we be so fat and not want to be desired while the smaller body sized women look at us and call us fat and ask us to join several inhumane diets if we are ever to have sex.
But fear not, in the dark alleys of social media, in our DMs and little spaces where no one can see, the same boys and men come back in ever discrete mannerisms asking us if they could have a taste because they’ve always wanted to be with a big woman and thick thighs save lives so we must indulge to save them.
The women ask us how we have such thick thighs and if there is a diet for that. Now all this seems very prehistoric given our dynamic times, but I only write this because it comes up an unnecessary number of times and as much as it may be a norm, it is annoying.
It took me years to acquaint myself with my body, to look at my thighs and ass and say well damn! Oh lucky is the human who gets to be in the presence of such chocolate magnificence.
The obsession of which bodies can enjoy sex and blah blah is so annoyingly ancient and quite honestly primitive because who still cares.
If you desire a person, go ahead and consensually indulge to the depths of your body’s limits and pleasure, break a bed or two, bend those limbs every which way and fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck some more.
Mind your own body and love yourself enough to want all the pleasure in the world for yourself and stop asking big bodied women, thick women, plus size babes, BBWs to suck it in!