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My 2021 Sex Goals

Written by Jessica

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It is that time to set your sex goals for the year!

Now I know the World is still ablaze because of Covid-19 and so much is still in the balance as to what our lives are going to look like after this too passes — if it ever will pass; or maybe if this is what life is now and forevermore.

There is panic around the globe. What are we supposed to do about a pandemic that refuses to understand that we do not want it? I mean we have so many problems already. So many systems of oppression that we are still yet to dismantle and as an extra slap in the face, the pandemic has worsened all these systems of oppression.

I know the uncertainty has left many not wanting to set their 2021 goals and resolutions and why would you? When every day has a new challenge that threatens the colorful lights all our lives deserve.

Be that as it may, one thing that has not changed is that pleasure remains a must and being stuck at home has left many of us horny as Fuck. I know for one that I am plenty horny now and I have nowhere to go with all this horny energy.

Last year I set some goals for myself, for my relationship with my body and I intended to claim all the pleasure in the world for myself. 

I questioned what exactly my goals would be for this year seeing that I fulfilled several last year and epically failed on dating. So that is where I started;

  1. I am going to Date. 

Excuse me while I laugh at myself and take a deep sigh here because my epic fails last year seem to be haunting me this year. A brief summary here; Last year, the man I wanted to date chose another girl right at the time when I was ready to tell him I wanted to date him. The second man I really liked had a 6-year-old relationship and the last man, well, he got caught in a lie he never even had to tell and later on told me he was seeing his ex and could no longer be involved with me.

After all those fails, I want to try again. I have already reactivated my Tinder account and while I am reminded of why I left that app in the first place (creepy ass men with very gross requests and too many exes and former lovers on that app), I am determined to still give it a try. I mean meeting people during a global pandemic that demands social distancing is incredibly hard.

  1. Sex! 

I want to get laid. This year, instead of exploring my limits I want to have a very intimate sexual partnership. I want to feel my partner’s soul when we are together. I want to laugh and at times overdo the PDA. Now this is a very odd goal considering the theme for this year is to reduce personal contact as much as possible and stay home. But I would really love to have my partner spend the weekend with me and just be two people sharing our body heat. 

Among my other goals, these two are a must for me, I have no intention to rush myself to date and fuck but take my time, learn about myself as I am this year and how I fit into the dating world.

With that said, I want to share with you all my sex and relationship goals, or rather how I plan to fulfill these goals for this year.

Firstly, I want to date myself the way I deserve to be dated. I envision my healthy relationship a certain way—full of love and laughter. I want my partner to laugh with me, to hug me and give me random gifts, to love and respect my child, to encourage me and show up for me. And so I have decided that I will do that for myself. Let me clarify that I want this from my partner, but I owe it to myself to have that relationship with myself.

For starters, after I crashed and burned in the first week of 2021, I took myself for a brief vacation out of town. I booked myself a room somewhere quiet and peaceful, I shut down my laptops and put aside my phone and just let myself be. I watched some hilarious bad television and took long naps, which I had not done in a while. I left that room at peace, I was not yet happy but I was not crying anymore. That was one hell of a step forward for me. I will do that more, maybe with my partner at some point.

Secondly, I want to breathe. I have said this multiple times and I am getting better at it. I want to breathe and not pile so much pressure on myself, especially when I am in between assignments. I do not want to spend time worrying about what I am not doing right and what I am delaying, to accept when I am not mentally fit to fulfill the items on my to do list.

Thirdly, explore the dating pool patiently. I like several people, some of whom have expressed their interest in me. But instead of rushing into entanglements and sex that ends with arguments about incredibly stupid things, I want to get to know them as they get to know me. I also want to learn how to simply let go when it is not working out instead of forcing certain situations to exist when they clearly should not.

Lastly, I want to document this entire experience, partly because I want to see my growth and partly because if this shit goes sideways again, I get to look back and laugh as I write my 2022 sex and relationship goals.

I invite you to join me in this journey loves, grab that notepad and pen and write down our 2021 goals with me!

2 COMMENTS

  1. This is a fantastic list, Jessica! I especially like the part about dating yourself. I have come to see the value in treating yourself the way you want to be treated, though it’s hard at times. We can be incredibly cruel to ourselves (but why??).

    Brava and best of luck in your goals this year!

  2. I am definitely listing my goals as well after reading this. This year and last year has taught me to put value on myself and only let those that deserve to know me. This is wonderful, good luck on your list this year

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