I was catching up with a long distant friend over Gmail Chat and somehow the conversation turned to cheating. How did we even start on the subject? We were chatting about relationships, he was telling me about how he had learnt from his previous relationship and was asking what I thought about abstaining from sex at the start of a new relationship. I told him my thoughts, that abstinence is not a theory I subscribe to but I can see the rationale…sometime during this chat, I asked him why he had previously cheated whilst in a relationship (he has not cheated in his current relationship). His response:
‘Cheated occasionally when I was feeling bad …

(Photo Credit: Nana Kofi Acquah)
I saw this billboard in Tamale, Northern Ghana and it reminds me of all that I hate about ineffectual sex education and bad messaging around the prevention of HIV/AIDS.
The implication is that if you’re a virgin you cannot catch HIV/AIDS. Not strictly true, is it? Afterall, sex is not the only way to become infected with HIV. My other issue with this ‘Virgin Power’ message is that it ignores one of the biggest risk factors for HIV/AIDS in this country. Married women in Ghana are at a greater risk of contracting HIV/AIDS compared to their single sisters. Why? Simply because a lot of married women do not have autonomy over their …

If we were going to play a word association game and I asked you to say the first phrase that comes to mind with the words ‘camera’ and ‘Africa’, you’d probably say ‘documentary’ or ’safari’. Don’t lie. You know you would.
I don’t know if it’s just my crop of friends, or if all Francophone chicks are in fact just freaky…but I know a ton of freaky girls from French speaking countries! I’m stalling before getting into this story, because I hardly know where/how to begin. Let me just plainly say I saw my first West African sex tape…in the raw.
My Togolese friend Michele has been dating a guy from Angola for the last 2+ years. …

Dear AbeNana,
I lied to an old friend. Maybe I shouldn’t have, But this was one of the rare situations where I looked in her pretty brown eyes and boldly lied to her. She is a very sweet young lady. Beautiful inside out & intelligent. She’s got that full feminine figure and all woman. The kind of body I like to wake up next to and have on my playground every day & nite. She is a career woman and successful too. Have I painted a perfect picture of her yet? Because I can and it won’t be lies.
For years, our gears were engaged & locked and we had a helluva relationship. Our friends loved our …

I’m fairly willing to bet that if you ask the majority of mature women what makes for great sex, they’d say it all boils down to confidence. I haven’t read any studies on that theory or conducted an extensive poll supported that idea, but in speaking to women my age at least (those in their 30’s), they would say confidence is key to having really good sex.
A woman’s confidence (ideally) comes from what she defines as success. Whether that be in her physique, her social standing, her education, her personal achievements or all of the above, a woman will make a better lover if she feels strong in who she is as an individual. I …

In a few minutes it will be a year since Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women launched in cyber space and what a year it has been. I had no particular expectations when I suggested to my friend that we start this blog, infact what I originally wanted was for Abena and I to write a book together about the realities of sex and the African woman but I feared that it would go the way of our other project and die even before it birthed. Hence the idea for a blog came about. With blogs you have to update regularly, you have readers you owe a responsibility to…
The other reasons I was motivated …

They say when you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas, and nothing puts a damper on any sexual experience, clandestine or otherwise when you get out of bed with proverbial “fleas”. These include STDs (herpes, the “clap” or *shudder* AIDS), parasites (like crabs and body lice) or the occasional blastocyst, which left unchecked will become a cute little baby boy/girl in 9 months.
As fun as sex often is and can be, it is one of the most dangerous activities an African woman on the continent can engage in. With dubious and perverse men running around engaging in hybrid sex with multiple partners (some human and some not), they introduce all kinds of …

I was interviewed by Joy Fm (a private radio station in Ghana) on the 14th of January on the existence of the G Spot. The actual segment which was broadcast on air included a sampling of the public on the subject. What came across to me very clearly, when the opinions of members of the public was sampled, was the amount of misconception that exists about the G spot and women’s orgasms. In this post I would like to clear some misconceptions and state some personal thoughts:
When a woman has an orgasm it does not necessarily mean her G Spot has been hit. The G Spot refers to a zone (rather than a mere spot) …

I’m quite judgemental, I make up my mind about people fairly early on. I know almost from the minute I meet a guy whether I’m attracted to him or not. There are some people that you become attracted to the more you hang out with them. Of course there are also other people that you become less attracted to the more you hang out with them.
I have a weakness for guys who do their own thing – men who are entrepreneurial, the kind that you know will make it some day – I don’t think those type of men are attracted to me. I think they prefer more “homely” and traditional women, women who will …

As usual the conversation revolved around the men in their lives:
“Charle, as for me, I have had it with boys, they are lying, cheating scumbags. I think I shall just remain single – after all I get better orgasms from my vibrator”.
“I have never used a vibrator before”.
“Oh come on Kukua! In this day and age, we need to fix this situation now”
Aba stands slowly, gives Kukua a mischievous smile and heads for her bedroom, re-appearing with what appears to be a vanity case.
“Okay, Kukua your re-education starts now. So, this pink dildo with what appears to be rabbit ears on the side is the famous Rampant Rabbit. These on the other hand are anal …