Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women was started in January 2009 by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah and Malaka Grant as a space for African Women to share experiences of Sex and our diverse Sexualities.
The blog is managed by Fatima Derby who also writes for the blog alongside Guest Contributors. Posts on the blog are generally based on the personal experiences of contributors, as well as random sources of inspiration including interesting articles, conversations with friends, books we have read, good sex, bad sex, bad kissers… It is our hope that the blog provides a safe space where African women can openly discuss a variety of sex and sexuality issues with the intention of learning from each other, having pleasurable and safer sex and encouraging continuous sex education for adults.
The administrators of “Adventures” welcome contributions from African women. Contributions can be focused on any sex or sexuality related issue. Guest contributors may blog anonymously or under their own names. To contribute please email your contribution to adventuresfrom [at] gmail dot com. Please let us know if you wish to use a pseudonym/contribute anonymously. Do also let us know if possible what pseudonym you would like to use (we would really like to showcase the diversity of African women contributing on the site so it would be really nice if your pseudonym could reflect your country of origin for e.g. as long as that doesn’t compromise your anonymity.) The administrators reserve the right to edit posts (mainly for typos and grammar) and reserve the rights to rejects posts that are misogynistic, sexist or discriminatory towards women/marginalised groups of women. However we may occasionally publish a “non-politically correct” post to stimulate debate on an issue.
Although “Adventures” is primarily a blog for African women we recognise that there are progressive men who may wish to contribute to this forum. These contributions are welcome; however priority will be given to highlighting women’s experiences of sex and sexuality.
The Administrators of Adventures are committed to keeping the information you share with us safe and secure. We will not sell or share your information with third parties.
Want to write for us?
To inquire about submissions, email us at adventuresfrom [at] gmail dot com.
All materials submitted become the property of Adventures From The Bedrooms of African women. By submitting your work to us, you are giving Adventures and its partners, affiliates, and licensees the non-exclusive right to publish your work in any format, including print, electronic, and online media. However, all individual contributors to Adventures retain the right to submit their work for non-exclusive publication elsewhere, and you have our permission to do so. Adventures From the Bedrooms of African Women is copyrighted.
Please do not submit material that is copyrighted, protected by trade secret, or is otherwise subject to third party proprietary rights, including privacy and publicity rights, unless you are the owner of such rights or have permission from their rightful owner to submit the material.
68 comments On About
Can we blog on long distance relationships…More and more women themselves in long distance relationships…this raises questions about trust, sex issues and infidelity……
Hi there! I would REALLY like you guys to contribute to our new group blog http://www.female2female.co.za
If you are interested please mail me firstname.lastname@example.org
Hiya, i was talking to some ladies earlier about cosmetic surgery and how it has lost the ‘stigma’ it used to have. Basically, you can have anything done these days from a facelift to vaginal rejuvenation! We were discussing whether we would have anything done, what and when. Would it be possible to do a post on this topic? Thanks very much. Love your blog btw!
We’re having a discussion on the OneLove regional web site about enhancing the sex act, and I thought you might be able to provide some valuable insights to our readers.
So I was wondering if you could write a guest post for the blog? If you’re interested, please email me at email@example.com
@Laura – thanks so much for introducing me to Nana’s blog.
Nana, lets talk about Love!
hi i want to write a post about ‘how to make a woman squirt’
@Warm Spirit – Why? Are you in love? Why don’t you write a guest contribution on the subject?
@Ekow – Please go right ahead…send it to adventuresfrom[at]gmail.com . I reserve the right to edit, reject and post once you send it through
keep on with your good works. i really admire you for what you are doing. i will recommend this site.
Must say I am extremly impressed and respectful of the blog you have set up. Infact I am so immensed in trying to read through the blog I have for the first time agreed to my whole team at work taking lunch break at the same time (Its’ just about 12.30 in London). I however can not help but feel cheated. Cheated because there is an absence of positive links to Ghanian bloggers such as you ladies and there seem to be the absense of stimulating debate among the Ghanaian community. Cheated because I am always the last person to hear of such positive moves and once again over 2000 peoplehave already been here before me. Now how the hell does that “favourites” thingy work on this blasted computer, because I am about to make you my homepage.
@ Ewiase – Thanks so much
@No Balls – Lol! Are you sure you really have no balls? I mean allowing your whole team to take lunch at the same time shows some major balls 🙂 Thank you for your compliments. It is much appreciated! I also love the idea of ‘Adventures’ being your home page. Who knows you may be the first person to do that 🙂
@No Balls – You have motivated me to blog some more this month. When you said 2000 people had been here before you, I thought “only” so checked the control panel of my blog and yes my readership has come down. In July 2010, the blog had 9121 unique visitors but as of now (18th August) only 2824 people have visited the blog. Clearly I am not blogging enough so thanks for drawing this to my attention.
I enjoy reading this blog! I’m African American, but it’s good to know my brothers and sisters from the continent have a lot in common with me 😀
Totally love the boldness of this blog. Few people can be so open about sexuality in this Ghanaian society of ours. Hope men can contribute too? 🙂 Recommending this to all my ‘girls girls’ and ‘boys boys’!!
I recently stumbled upon your blog and I find it very interesting! I am a white American woman currently living in Nigeria working on my PhD research in sexual health. Please do blog more. I’d love to read more from your perspective as well as other guest bloggers.
@MAH1120 – I’m curious, what kind of commonalities have struck you?
@Ebenezer – Feel free to contribute! And do spread the word!!
@ Lindsay – Hmm, I would love to blog every day but this blog is only one of several things I do so … I would love it if more African women sent me more guts contributers so ladies put fingers to computers and mail to adventuresfrom[at]gmail.com . I would be quite interested in reading your dissertation when its done. Would that be possible?
I’ve been here 5 minutes and i like what i see. Will be passing by!
@Nana – Absolutely. I won’t be finished with everything until late spring of this coming year, but I plan to stay engaged with your blog so I’ll definitely give you an update & any articles that come out of it! I use a community-based research philosophy so my goal is to share with as many people as possible to increase knowledge and affect change.
Keep up the good work!
First time am on this blog and I like it. I have a blog where I write er.. my sexual adventures. I’d love for you to check it out, and maybe some day I could guest blog?
I have a bad sex story: here http://nairobigal2011.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/the-bad-sex-nakuru-guy-sex-with-a-virgin/
I’m wondering if this is the right place to find answers but thing is I’m confused here. A little.
I recently got involved with a guy who seemed intelligent on the “surface”. He looked like the perfect guy until I decided to look beyond the explosive sex only to realize I couldn’t stand him because he’s not intelligent enough. I need a guy who I can vibe with. Share ideas with..it seems almost impossible to do this with him.
Would I be making a mistake ending what I have with him? He is really nice though…
@mrswiti – Its been more than 5 mins now so I hope you’re still engaged with the blog 🙂
@Lindsay – Thanks!
@Nairobigal – Definitely. Email me your contribution anytime via adventuresfrom[at]gmail.com
@Ad – Your query deserves a longer post but let me give you my 2 pesewas worth in case I don’t get round to writing the longer post. If you’re feeling so early that the relationship is not working then its best that you end things. Who knows he may be feeling the same way. At the very least have a conversation about how the relationship is going (or in this case not going). Best of luck and keep me posted.
hi, i really love this site n wud luv to b a regular contributor, is that possible?
Yes! Please submit your contribution via adventuresfrom[at]gmail.com and I will consider publishing it. Thanks for the love
waow. really nice blog u got here. i cant stop laughing at some of the posts. ave bn reading for days now and cant seem to get enough. its really rare to see people actually talk aba certain issues so openly especially in this part of our world. this is so so cool. :). i do a lil writing as well but not had much on ma hands lately. u rock!
I’m absolutely in love with this website and it inspires me in my sex positive work for global women’s health and queer rights! I’d love to meet you and to learn more about your awesome blogging! I just left Ghana in August.
Hi Nana, how can we subscribe to the posts by email?
I heard about this site on NPR radio. It’s great for African women to have a place to blog about their sexual experiences. In such a primitive continent, where sexual abuse is rife, women need to stick together and share their stories, particularly as Africans are such promiscuous people, and AIDS is rife. Maybe it’s got to do with having such gigantic genitalia?
@Lola – I am assuming you heard the interview we did on Netherlands radio? Wow. I hardly know how to respond to this comment. Especially from a woman from the Netherlands, a country that I thought was very progressive. Sigh.
First of all Africa is not a primitive continent. Some would say countries where people like Brevik run rampage are the primitive ones but lets not go there.
In case you are not aware the sexual abuse of women is a worldwide phenomenon. As someone who has had the privilege of living and travelling throughout the world I know that Africans are not more promiscuous than other people.
And yes depending on which African country you’re referring to rates of HIV & AIDS can be as high as 35% or as low as 3%.
Gigantic genitalia? I don’t even know how to respond to that. This gigantic genitalia myth seems to be a subject of endless fascination for people who wish to fantastise about what these genitalia can do for them huh?
Anyway thanks for commenting and dispelling some of my myths about how progressive people in the Netherlands are.
@ Lola: hahaha! you’re joking aren’t you? gosh, you can’t possibly be serious, can you? anyways, thanks for giving me something to laugh about this week 🙂 x x
Yeah Lola…here’s the thing: Our mission is to provide a safe space for African women to discuss issues surrounding sex, be it pleasurable and/or problematic. This blog is not a space for people like you to come and spout archaic, racists and backwards views. I’m sure there is a clan website out there that is more suited to your opinions about Africans and their genitalia.
And speaking about African genitalia…you seem to be well acquainted with it. In your 2 other comments on the blog you made reference to size and HIV. Now, if you’ve encountered a well endowed African who subsequently infected you with AIDS, you have my sympathies, but again, you need to seek out a support group or some other place to vent your idiotic blanket views about all Africans.
You should know that any of your future posts will be blocked, as you have been identified as a troll. However, thanks for stopping by. Your comments have proven that racism and the ideals of white supremacy are still alive and well, and we must be aware of that. However, we don’t have to entertain it. Our “primitive” culture teaches us that at least!
@Lola: You personify primitive given that your comment mirrors what your ancestors thought of Africa and her people when they arrived on the continent uninvited eons ago. They too were preoccupied with the body proportions of both men and women, so much so that they made up the notion that Africans were promiscuous and a horny lot to excuse THEIR sexual abuse.
Africans are no more promiscuous than the Dutch, you folks border on deviant in some instances; didn’t your people lobby to change the age of a consenting adult from 16 to 12 and to legalize child pornography a few years ago?
Your attempt at sounding clever only highlighted that fact that you have the mentality of a 17th century bigot. Please leave us as we discover what brings us pleasure in our bedrooms. That may or may not involve gigantic genitalia, wouldn’t you like to know?
Take your foolishness elsewhere.
I LOVE this blog. I have SO many questions. Is there a forum of sorts?
Beyond the blog posts and comments? No there isn’t. Are you looking for a chat room type function? You can always blog about the conversation you want to have and send it to me…chances are it will be uploaded online. Thanks for reading, and do spread the word.
@Malaka I don’t think blocking Lola is the best approach. Its better for her to bring out her prejudice, ignorance and misconceptions so that they can be challenged. That way we will know that there are still ignorant prejudiced people still on this planet. By posting her comments if we help to enlighten her about Africans then at least one person and potentially many more would be cured from their prejudice and ignorance thats a good thing.
@Nana Darkoa, there is NPR in the US. Its possible they also did a programme on the interview you granted to the Netherlands radio. So Lola could be from the USA. However, it doesn’t really matter wherever Lola is coming from. Ignorance and prejudice from anywhere is a threat to enlightenment everywhere. Please don’t block Lola in the spirit of tolerance that this blog stands for.
@ Kweku – You are absolutely right, and I agree with your points. I didn’t actually mark Lola as spam so either she didn’t come back to the site…or came back, saw our comments and run away. I agree with you that its important to hear dissenting voices. There is only one person whom so far I have marked as spam. And he was just evil! Seriously, he was beyond saving 🙂 And when he started to wish death upon members of this forum I just couldn’t deal with him anymore:)
How does one earn the right to b a guest ‘blogger’ on here? Your blog is great!!! More people should know about this. Us ladies need a forum like this
Thank you MsBlankson. We appreciate the compliments. Its really easy to be a guest blogger. Just write your piece and email it to me via adventuresfrom[atgmail.com As long as you’ve written your piece on our general theme – sex, sexuality, relationships – if I like it I’ll post it. So far I’ve only rejected 3 posts so I suspect I will like yours. I look forward to getting your contribution.
I met you at the Farafina event and said I’d drop a comment. Been through some articles. I like what I see.
Thanks Chidi! I really appreciated you coming over to chat.
*Tucking my gigantic labial folds into my underpants.
Nnenna you are cracking me up! Please untuck your gigantic labial folds and come back here…what have we done to make you 🙁 ?
I think is good what this blog is sending out to its readers, I hope to read more
Nana Darkoa, it wasn’t you o. It was the troll-hater of gigantic African labia. I was going to make a comment to her but my elephant-eared labia were in the way.
I sent you a guest post to your email address. Did you get it? It’s on ‘How to Get Your Pussy Eaten’.
@Nnenna – Ha! I realised that only after I had repled to your comment and scrolled up 🙂 I remember you commented on one of the ‘pussy eating’ posts but I don’t think you sent an actual guest contribution through. Either that or for some strange reason I didn’t get it. I would love a guest contribuition from you adventuresfrom[at]gmail.com
Right, I have just sent it again. You might want to check your junk as well.
And if you like that I could do some…more.
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nana, hv bn reading for a while now but neva commented. want to get in touch after watching ur interview on TGIF. email me ur digits.
Hi Jay – Drop me an email, adventuresfrom[at]gmail.com
have done that.
Well done 🙂 I am not sure where I found your blog, I guess in some online newspaper but forgot the name. :/ either spiegel.de or sueddeutsche.de or perhaps faz.de? Anyway, congratulations on the already long existing blog. Well, I am curious about other lives and don’t know much about Ghana or Africa or anything beyond the usual And perhaps a bit more. I read Waris Diri when I was a teenager, fell in love with an African guy living in London via e-mail (oh so wonderful intense and what an amazing break up) and wondered and still do about African men here (i.g. Germany) and their choice of sexual partners and their lifes. When you’re interested, just say so. It’s nothing really breath taking or sexual but something that strikes me from time to time.
Keep up the great work!
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First time reader :), I’m single but I seem to love this blog. It’s amazing how much wisdom African women can share. I hope all that I learn will help when my prince charming has found me. Thumps up Nana xoxo
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A friend of mine sent me the link to this blog it’s 00:40 am and I can’t turn off my computer to go to bed…. Glad I followed up awesome stuff
Yay ESS, so glad you are enjoying the blog. Keep reading
I have enjoyed this blog for more than three years now, but please you should change the look back to the coloured look with pictures and comments the way it was about a month ago. thanks.
@Kwunume – I believe you are accessing the site on your mobile device right? So what you are seeing is the default mobile interface. So what you need to do to see the colour and images is to scroll right down to the bottom of your screen and click ‘Exit mobile interface’, then you will see what you are used to. Happy viewing
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Just discovered your blog and I’m loving every piece of it.
Thanks! Enjoy 🙂
Please how do I join, I found this blog today and I am literally blown away with happiness.
Where I grew up in Nigeria its like admitting you are a sexually active and loving woman is a disgusting crime.
Thank you @ Nana Darkoa
By being here you have ‘joined’ 🙂 But if you mean how do you submit a contribution, you can do so by emailing your story to adventuresfrom[at]gmail[dot]com
I am an escort and wanted share my perspective and stories am I allowed to post my adventures, feedback or questions?
Yes Mia. Our only requirement is that you be African or of African heritage…and of course, we have to read the piece first before deciding whether we will post it but approximately 90% of submissions get posted. Plus we have never had any posts by escorts (that I know of), and so I think yours will be an especially important contribution. Please send to adventuresfrom[at]gmail[dot]com
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