Here’s the thing: polar hierarchies in sex don’t interest me. At all. I find nothing remotely desirable about being dominated or dominating someone else, mimicking rape or coercion, being hit or whipped. It’s not because I am boring, vanilla, or that I don’t get the politics of consent and why BDSM “isn’t violence”. (My) truth is, it mimics the violence around us and I am not convinced that by simply mirroring what we don’t like, we subvert it and take …
