‘Working for the d’ by Guest Contributor Efua

Before I broke my hymen, I used to think I did not have a vagina.

I would gaze down my lady parts with a magnifying face mirror and conclude I had no tunnel.

Then the thin stretch of skin tore.

It was over almost immediately and I wondered if that was it.

Was this all there was to this exaggerated event that promised eye balls rolling in their sockets ?

Well I was disappointed and I couldn’t emphasize that enough.

This is what happens when you break your virginity with small boys.

They will waste your time and ask if your torn hymenal blood is your period.

Shit.

Some times I wondered if there was something wrong with me

Was my vagina not a source of pleasure ?

Maybe I had to be relaxed and less self conscious. Or maybe I just had to lie in wait for the big O ?

What could I do to return the heat ? He hated it when I rode him ; I must be awful then.

I’m still not feeling it. What’s the point of all this ?

Maybe sex a little overrated.

Then I let my friend of 4years hit it.

He told us to go see a movie. But then he had to pass by home to take something.

Um, do you want to freshen up too ?

Um, no.

Okay, can you come here and help me with this ?

Bam!

We did it five times that day

Did the movie happen? No. Did I go back for more ? Yes.

I guess I did have a vagina after all.

Did it make a difference that he was my friend?

Then another d became my friend

This d made me understand the value of reciprocation and hardwork,…working for the d.

I became a freak and wanted to please him and not simply laying on my back in waiting for my own turn

He filled my days with laughter and my nights with endless moans

But then the summer came and went

And then I started to wonder if I even possessed that tunnel they called a vagina