Written by Nobuhle . N Nyoni
Friday came, and her mother had them skip breakfast because she just wanted to get to the doctor’s office. They arrived five minutes before their appointment, and the waiting time made Sphe’s mother anxious. Meanwhile, Sphe wasn’t worried at all. She had done this every year since she was ten, so she just wanted to go in and out. Their turn finally came, and in they went.
“Aren’t you grown, Sphe? You are not the ten-year-old who walked in here asking for a lollipop before we even checked you anymore,” Dr Stacy said jokingly.
“No, she is not,” her mother replied.
“So, have you gotten your period yet, young lady?” the doctor asked Sphe.
“Yes, I have.”
“Congratulations! That means we add new tests to the list. Let’s start with getting some of your blood,” she said, guiding her to the bed.
Dr Stacy drew Sphe’s blood and sent it to the lab right away. It usually took a day or two to receive the compiled report. After the check-up, Sphe asked if they could pick up some milk on the way home. With every waking minute, her mother was sure she was about to be a grandmother. They went to a restaurant for breakfast, and she noticed that Sphe was uncomfortable.
“Are you alright, Sphe?”
“Yes. Something smells bad in here. You can’t smell it?”
“All I smell is food, baby,” Sphe’s mother said, looking at her daughter closely.
They got through their meals, but Sphe failed to eat the eggs. The smell was too strong for her. Her mother chose to wait for the results before confronting her daughter. Those two days of waiting almost drove her mad. She refreshed her email every chance she got, and when the email finally came in, she was scared of opening it. And there it was, the confirmation of her fears. Sphesihle was pregnant. Sphe’s mother sat on the floor and stared at a picture frame that held a photograph of her daughter.
She didn’t know what to do. She went from feeling angry to ashamed of herself for failing as a mother. She wanted to yell at her daughter but knew hugging her was better. This reality would alter Sphe’s life, and she had to be the strength her daughter didn’t have. She could not move. So she allowed herself to be still. Sphe came into the lounge to watch TV and was shocked to find her mother sitting on the floor.
“Uright, Mama?”
Her mother didn’t answer. Instead, she signalled for Sphe to come and sit next to her. With her mind racing through a thousand reasons why her mother was suddenly mute, Sphe sat next to her mother. She looked at her mother with worry in her eyes. She suspected her father had done something else to hurt her mother, but she patiently waited for her mother to speak.
“Sphe, I received your results from Dr Stacy, and you are pregnant,” Sphe’s mother said with disappointment.
“I’m pregnant?” she replied in disbelief.
“Yes, and the signs have been there. The frequent urinating, strong sense of smell, your milk cravings and the constant fatigue. The doctor says it’s been six weeks, so when did this happen, mntanami?”
“It was once. How could it be when it was one time? My first time, and I get pregnant? How is this happening to me?” Sphe said, sobbing.
“Oh Sphe, it only takes one time to get pregnant. Unfortunately, you and Mandla did this when you were at your fertile stage in the cycle,” she said whilst holding her daughter, who was sobbing uncontrollably.
“I am sorry. I know I have disappointed you. Dad will disown me, I won’t have friends and finish school. It’s all over!”
“It is not over. We will find a way to get through this. Trust me, I have your back. Let’s get you in bed.”
The mother held her daughter up and took her to bed. Sphe cried until she was exhausted and fell asleep. Saturday morning, she couldn’t leave her bed. She suddenly couldn’t find purpose in her life. Everything seemed bleak. Mandla had left messages, and every time she looked at her phone, she felt so much hatred for him. He had ruined her life by getting her pregnant. She wished he would stay where he was and never come back. Her eyes were bloodshot red from crying when her mother brought her breakfast.
Sphe’s mother wanted to give Sphe enough days to go through the emotions of this big news. Sphe’s days were the same that week. She woke up and hated life, herself and her boyfriend. Her mother stuck to the routine. She brought food and gave her space. Towards the end of the week, she realised they couldn’t drag it any longer, so she decided to break the ice.
“Sphe, school opens in a few days, and we need to discuss a way forward. Unfortunately, we have to involve your father and Mandla’s parents.”
“Okay. Do I have to go to school?” Sphe asked.
“Yes, but you have the option of homeschooling until you give birth. Your school does offer that. Is that an option you would like to consider?”
“Yes, please. I do not want to be shamed by other children at school.”
“I will call in and make the arrangements. Have you told Mandla yet?”
Sphe shook her head. She felt herself run out of breath. There was nothing she wanted more than to forget his existence at that moment.
“Sphe, he has a right to know. You have to let him know and get his father’s contact details so your father can get in touch. We will have to meet the family and discuss the way forward.”
“Okay, Mama,” Sphe replied.
“I love you, Sphe. We are going to be alright. All three of us,” her mother said, hugging her.
Sphe’s mother left the room to go make the phone call she had been dreading all week. She didn’t look forward to telling her ex-husband that his one and only daughter was on her way to being a mother at fourteen. And it went exactly how she expected it to. He was upset and wanted to send money for an abortion.
“You want to ruin my reputation in the community. No daughter of mine will bear a child at fourteen,” he retorted.
“You didn’t need your daughter to ruin your reputation. You did that to yourself when you slid under every skirt that stood before you. Your child is scared and is losing hope for life. What she needs is support. I suggest you shake this little attitude away and wear your fatherly suit for once,” Sphe’s mother replied before hanging up the phone.
“My sister was fifteen when she had her first baby. My father was disappointed. But he looked past the gossip. He took care of my sister and the child once it was born. Today, my sister runs one of the biggest event companies. Pregnancy is not the end of a woman’s life, my love. Sometimes, it is the beginning. My sister’s outlook on life changed once she was past the depression. She wanted more and she worked for more. Don’t be an idiot and turn on your daughter,” Nomaswazi said.
Sphe’s father was too angry to hear anything Nomaswazi was saying. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat by the balcony. He needed time to process the news. Meanwhile, Sphe couldn’t bring herself to type that one message. She had a lot of messages from Mandla. Guilt started settling in.
‘I can try to hate him all I want, but the truth is that we did this together. I am just upset because I have to live with the consequences. The world is not fair. I will carry the evidence of my sexual encounters and be shamed while he gets to be crowned for being a man.
I have regrets. I should have stuck with Ropa. This would have never happened. I am about to be the laughing stock in this neighbourhood, and my parents will carry the burden of defending my honour. This is not how I pictured my life going.
I am a child who is about to be a mother. When other girls are out at the market, I will be home breastfeeding and playing house with my child. What if Mandla’s family decides they are not interested in me? What if they think I am lying? After all, I look nothing like a girl who can date the coolest boy in school.
I have disgraced my family.’
