A Bisexual Girl’s Dilemma

black women in a threesome
Image via @insta_holaa

I received the following email from a fellow Adventurer who is anguishing over the dearth of good, quality, bi-sexual companionship. This one is a doozie, but if you have any advice for this our sister (she specifically is looking for venues to hook up with like-minded women), you know what to do. Me, I don’t live in Accra…



Hmm…  My city, Accra.

Bustling with so, so many things: Frustrated taxi and trotro drivers, dissatisfied big bellied men, beautiful “big bottomed girls clad in African print”, ‘hipsters ‘ with limited budgets but overflowing talents, occasional happy couple here and there, sexy clueless young men… the list pretty much goes on and on. Anything you can think of you will most likely find in Accra, but I’m beginning to think this list does not include happy carefree bisexual women!!

Do u know how frustrating it is for a 22 year old bisexual girl to find ‘love’ or even a nice healthy fling in this our Accra? Ei sisters and brothers! You will cry! You’ll have to be content with hooking up with one girl who was introduced to you by an ex-boyfriend’s friend who doesn’t know for sure if this girl likes other girls or not, but she looks like a lesbian so try your luck. Ah!  It’s either that or a ‘pitri pitri’ bicurious girl who hangs around till y’all fuck and then decides “Nope! This life ain’t for her and leaves you broken hearted.


So anyway Adventurers, who can help out a frustrated 22 year old girl who likes girls? Thank you!




lesbian photo credit (Nana Kofi Acquah

35 comments On A Bisexual Girl’s Dilemma

  • and I’m sure shell greatly appreciate hookups too.o_O

  • Eiii. Why don’t you start a meet up group for bisexuals? You’ll be surprised at the response. Good luck. Report back in the eventuality you do.

  • A group already exists in the forum pages.

  • no more meet ups..or bisexual or lesbian get togethers. none of that. do u know a bisexual girl or lesbian looking to hook up? if so..please be kind n hook a sister up

  • Ha! This line cracked me up, “You’ll have to be content with hooking up with one girl who was introduced to you by an ex-boyfriend’s friend who doesn’t know for sure if this girl likes other girls or not, but she looks like a lesbian so try your luck”. Oh chale. In my opinion there are quite a few bi curious (even though I know that’s not what you are looking for) and bisexual girls in Ghana. BUT most of them are not open about their sexuality for obvious reasons. No body wants to be outed. Are you open about your own sexuality? If you are you might find some people will approach you cos they know you’re down…keep us posted, and yes do post in the Forums too and see if you get any luck there.

  • Sistah. I think you need to categorically state what you are looking for. Are you wanting a fling or a relationship? A fling is easily done. A relationship is probably going to be a little trickier. I’m not bring glib when I say this, but you can pay for plenty of sex in GH.

  • @nanadarkoa well.I’m certainly not hiding it. bit I would say I haven’t had an opportunity to ‘put it out there’as u put it.or I don’t know how to..most of my friends do know I’m into girls.though.I will defo let u know how it goes.
    @sistermalaka ..hmm. anything is good oo. that’s why I.didn’t specify..friendship,fling,relationship. any is fine..after all friendship can lead to fling and a fling into a relationship. anaa?

  • I feel your pain sista. Realising and accepting i was bisexual was hard for me to do. Even harder was finding someone “like me”. I tried ghanaweb a few years back….a couple of good long term friends made but other than that full of scammers and hungry rachet girls looking for sugar mommies….a couple of other websites….no luck.
    Its soo hard finding a suitable partner here in Accra for several reasons. No one wants to be outed….the bicurious chics want badly to supress their feelings…there are too many fakes out here AND now, chics wanna get paid to get laid. Honestly, i dont mind treating on a date out and helping out occasionaly if i can afford it but i do not think paying anyone for sex is a good idea. I had a friend come down a few months back from the states; same problem. Most of the chics she met arent really into chics, they just want money. That in itself is a huge turn off for me. All this stress in finding a likable genuine woman is making me lean heavily into relationships with the opppsite sex. I’m not complaining though…thats the upside of being able to play for both teams. Honey, it may be hard, and i have no idea when or where or how, but be a little patient AND careful. If i hear anything about anyone looking, i’ll post in forums. Maybe we could meet up for a chat or drink….no harm in having like-minded acquiantances is there? 😉

    • @Naa Adjeley – So I hear all these things about the transactional nature of sex in Ghana, and much as I understand that everyone needs to decide how they want to make their money it doesn’t make me happy. I know, I know, sex work is work, and the oldest profession in the world BUT can’t people get some love (or sex) without having to pay in one way or the other? Or am I looking at this all wrong? I mean some people will say even women in traditional patriarchal marriages are involved in some sort of sex work – caring/sex duties in return for security etc. @Naa I am particularly interested in reading about the experience of a bi sexual woman trying to have a relationship with another bi or lesbian woman in Ghana. Please write a post for us on the subject. Pretty please?

      • Just adding to this thing about women paying women for sex. Wondering why is it that many women think that sexual liberation is about behaving like men; going to strip joints, getting a private dance, sleeping with prostitutes, bragging about being promiscuous and so on. I’m not suggesting that these things can’t be empowering let alone enjoyable, we are all different, but a part of me wonders if we also are not emulating rather than being sexually autonomous enough to define sexuality with women at the centre. Maybe many women don’t mind but I think Naa is on to something regarding it being a turn off to sleep w someone who is obviously just doing it for the cash. Men may not care but can we afford not to? What are women gradually normalising by going ahead sleeping with women who really are not into sleeping with women.

        • @ MsAfropolitan: what you wrote is really food for thought. I guess sometimes in our quest to be liberated, feminists who are sex-positive, we trample on other women. Like what you said: we choose to go to strip clubs & willfully ignore the fact that studies have shown that majority of women who work in these clubs or in the sex industry have a history of being molested. We seem to care more about our pleasure than about the fact that the woman giving us the pleasure may not be doing it willingly (may be financially coerced or hooked on drugs or psychologically traumatized). I recently decided to ONLY patronize erotic porn made by women for women (who have a record of not exploiting the actresses)because most of the women in the mainstream porn industry are exploited.

      • Not promising anything, what with my crazy schedule and all, but i’ll try and get back to you with something soon alright? 🙂

  • @naa adjeley .. I wouldn’t mind that at all. sounds like fun.how do I contact u?

  • Yes people, the forums WORK!!! See? See? ^^^

  • my dear i am in d same situation. however i just want a fling or anything at all. i dont mind hooking up with u or any interested lady…

  • Am so glad I found this blog and am loving the content and just the general openess of ideas and exploring sexual boundaries.

    Don’t you guys like have swingers clubs in Ghana that could cater for these needs? News always travels fast so if one should get their freak on, isnt it better with someone who can give you the goods end of night you say thank you

  • @naa adjeley, am dieing to meet u. we re gonna be just perfect together. how do i contact u?

  • one thing I don’t get is why lesbians get offended when you make them aware of the fact that you’re bisexual. Is it that they’re scared that we’ll cheat on them or repulsed that we’re also attracted to men? Bisexual people can be in a stable monogamous relationship too!

  • It is really hard finding a bisexual lady or lesbian in Accra. Most of these social media platforms are full of scammers and guys (which I don’t really understand). But I am glad I found this blog, it at least gvs me the chance to vent out my frustration on finding a lady to hook up with CUs I was practically on the verge of giving up. ????

  • Thanx Nana Darkoa

  • rationalist analysist

    Hw com i never discoverd u guys till nw u shud tke it to de nxt level

  • I’m ready and I’m one to, so how do we get in touch? ??

  • Where can i find the forum where bisexuals meet. Looking to meet up for a fling

    • Ha, I don’t think our forums were ever designed for that purpose…and in any case we’ve had some technical issues with them, and since Malaka and I are not techy people, and do not want to worry one of our readers who has been great at fixing our tech issues we haven’t tried to resolve the issue yet…hope you find your fling some other way

  • My GF actually wants to experiment with my permission so sad there’s no forum for that 🙁

  • Has anyone tried cunnilingus before? Mmm being licked in your **** & tight *** sounds noty and yummy.
    Mmmm if interested let’s ping on BBM……. Waiting

  • wow it’s great I found this platform .. I was hoping I could meet up someone here for just a fling .. I’m kinda confused about my sexuality

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