The worst part of going through in vitro fertilisation (IVF) were the drugs. Setting my alarm to take the tablets on time, mixing liquids with powder and drawing the solution up into the syringe, lifting up my top, looking into the mirror and injecting first in the roll of flesh that sits to the left of my belly button, and then to my right so that I wouldn’t bruise. It didn’t make a difference, at the end of the two week cycle of medications, almost daily blood tests and scans my lower belly was covered with dark spots and painful to the touch.
But maybe that wasn’t the worst of it. The worst of it was going to the clinic for the egg collection and being told, ‘there’s a possibility that we won’t be able to retrieve any eggs’. What? My mind screamed? I could go through all of this and there’ll be no eggs to retrieve? That makes no sense. The scans had indicated that I had about ten eggs and several of them were mature. My rational voice said okay, and then I watched as the anaesthetist injected a needle into a vein in my left wrist so that his job would be easier once we got into the theatre. Once in the room I would scoot down and put my legs in the stirrups…that at least was familiar terrain, and then later I would wake up and walk back to the hospital bed where my Aunt was waiting for me. I would drink whatever they had given me to drink, and eat whatever they had given me to snack on. The Dr who had done the procedure came to see me and informed me, “we got 5 eggs”, I was excited.
The lab called the next day. Two of the eggs had not been mature so only three had been fertilised, out of which two had taken…the leaflet the clinic had given me had already explained how the process was going to work. The two fertilised eggs were going to be placed in a petri dish (or this is how I chose to recollect it) and on the fifth day they would get to the blastocyst stage, after which they could be frozen or implanted into the woman. I started to imagine my two eggs being implanted, falling pregnant and having twins. I was scared and excited at the same time. For about a year now I had started following lots of birthing pages and ‘yummy mummys’ on Instagram to help me prepare psychologically for the journey I was choosing to embark upon. I watched 30 second videos of women birthing in baths, I remember vividly one woman grabbing the head of her baby herself and pulling it out triumphantly. I followed bloggers who gave their babies breast milk baths…those were my heroines. The women doing it ‘naturally’, giving birth at home with their partners, breastfeeding and doing photoshoots in the wild with a baby at each breast.
And then on the fifth day I got a call from the lab. “I am sorry, I have bad news”. I tried hard not to cry and listened to what the technician was saying. It was something along these lines, ‘Maybe if we had more eggs… about 50% of the eggs don’t take. You will need to make an appointment with the Dr who will be able to give you a better assessment’.
Have you gone through IVF? Are you currently going through IVF? What’s been the worst part of your IVF journey? What’s been the best part? Share your experiences below, or if you fancy writing a blog post on the subject email it to adventuresfrom[at]gmail.com
8 comments On IVF journeys: the worst part is…
Never undertaken IVF but it is so important to read experiences like yours. In certain facets of the Nigerian community IVF is rarely discussed but news of multiple births in older age are touted as miracles, without given an insight to the journey. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Thank you for your openness. Hoping that the journey, if you decide to take it again, eventually yields the results that you want. By writing this, you are doing much to destigmatise IVF and broaden other women’s options, even if it is uncertain and emotionally taxing as you write about. Sending many hugs x
I imagine it was difficult to write this, but it’s a generous gesture. It helps destigmatise IVF as Fungai said and it also helps others who have had similar experiences feel less lonely. Thanks for sharing and I hope you are coping okay. Thinking of you. Much love.
Wow thanks for sharing Nana. This really scares me but I will keep hope alive. You are a strong woman no matter how long if takes you shall surely get there.
@LoisLagos – Thank you for reading, and yes, I think this too is something that we should all chat about more
@Fungai – Receiving the hugs and sending you many more in return sis
@MsAfropolitan – I am actually coping really well 🙂 Thank you for the love, sending you much love in return
@Rosina – Curious why this scares you…do say more if you feel able to. Hugs
Hi Nana, you are brave to have shared your experience with IVF and I can imagine what u went through. I have been through 2 unsucessful IUIs though I have a 9 yr old and been trying for the next for the past 6 yrs. My first procedure was at age 37/38 and then decided to hold for a while. My 2nd try was early this year a month before my 42nd birthday. It had taken me quite a while to master the courage to go through this again. Further tests done shows that the quality of my eggs are low and therefore the only option medically is to for an ICSI, an advanced form of IVF. Either that or adopt. Don’t know yet what I will do.
So Nana, please don’t take too long to decide the next step. It is not easy but I will encourage you to stay positive, keep the faith and know that u are not alone.
Thanks Ivy for also sharing your experience. Hugs and wishing you all the best in this journey
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