Written by Wolverine
Once upon a time I was young & carefree,
Naive and in love.
I lacked for nothing.
I had my twin babies planned.
I had wanted a ring with an emerald flower centerpiece.
I wanted a gown, in lilac not white, with intricate lace patterns.
Alas, he broke my virginity, and then my heart, and now love doesn’t live here any more.
Once upon a time I had that dream to excel.
I mean at that time education was the key to success. Even in high school we were constantly being lectured by the nuns and teachers, “books before boys because boys bring babies”.
Varsity was fun but the assignments were sometimes super challenging.
The hustle and bustle of campus exposed me to different lifestyles, fashion, people & cultures.
Hailing from a small town, the capital city was HUGE.
Fitting in wasn’t too difficult if you knew your background and what side your bread was buttered on – that’s if you had any bread at all actually.
We went through a series of assignments, in-class tests, group work & exams each semester just to get that certificate that we thought at that time would give us our daily bread & guarantee us employment anywhere in the world.
Alas, I hold not just 1 but 2 of those certificates but learnt the hard way that they no longer guarantee employment or make you a bread winner.
As for “books before boys”, some of us now struggle to get a man who can either put up with our academic prowess or who isn’t intimidated by our exposure, conversation skills and fluency in English.
“…boys bring babies…”
Back then it sounded absolutely terrible to have a baby while in school or to have a baby out of wedlock. It was shameful. Those of our sisters who happened to be in that position once upon a time, were considered a disgrace to their schools or families.
But where did that lead us? Back door abortions, medically induced D&C’s for those with money & connections whilst continuing to hold our heads high, pretending to be innocent.
Yet later on, the failure to conceive when we most needed to or are ripe for marriage and the reality of HIV/AIDS, hit us hard.
Once upon a time, we all had dreams.
We aspired to be somebody & by SOMEBODY we meant to be recognized, to be popular, to be rich or wealthy, to be revered.
Now we are emancipated. We are also older but wanting to look younger most of the time 
.
Once upon a time is history, herstory, theirstory but let’s make room for THISTORY because we are living in the here and now.
We have our achievements, we have our failures.
We still probably struggle with certain challenges but we still have the opportunity to live our best lives.
Once upon a time, things didn’t work out the way we wanted or planned them to but it doesn’t mean we stop living or that we give up. New doors open, we meet new people, form new connections and we can learn from our past experiences and yes, we can love again and again.
The moral of the story is:
Instead of crying about my broken hymen, I’m allowed to check out the next guy, go on 50 first dates all over again, get laid, keep cumming, practice the Kamasutra & check my gag reflexes if I want to.
Instead of lamenting about my HIV positive status daily, I can take my medication, adhere to treatment, have safe sex (and enjoy it!), have an HIV-free baby, breastfeed & experience motherhood.
Instead of constantly being ashamed of unplanned/teen pregnancy, I can be an inspiration to the youths now and show them that being a young mother is doable, NOT disgraceful.
Choosing to own up to our mistakes & assuming responsibility for our lives is being the bigger person and that’s what a strong woman does.
Instead of wondering why I studied this or that, why not take the opportunity to learn new things, even practical aspects, in any job? Sometimes we find our calling in the least expected places.
