Hurt, Disappointed, & Disillusioned

“Babe! Your phone is ringing!” Maria called out to her husband as she pulled down her favourite black night dress.

As usual, he was still there long after she had finished her shower. She was used to it after twenty years of marriage. 

They’d just had sex, and he was in a good mood, so he forgot himself and shouted back, “Tell them I’ll call them back!”

Walking to his side of the bed, she picked up his phone and answered the call, eyes widening when a woman spoke at the other end of the line. “Jake, babe, you were supposed to come by tonight. What happened?”

Maria couldn’t speak. She pulled the phone away from her ear in confusion to stare at the contact that had been saved as “Enoch”.

She felt her heart drop when she remembered that he had indeed planned to go out that night before she distracted him. 

“Jake? Should I stay up for you? I’m wearing your favourite sexy set,” the voice continued when Maria returned the phone to her ear.

Still unable to speak, she cut the call without a word. 

Jake remembered his error and rushed out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and water dripping down his body, but he saw immediately that it was too late.

Maria was sitting on his side of the bed, staring at his phone with trembling fingers. She looked up in shock when he reached her side, his face ashen.

“What is this, Jake? You’ve been cheating on me?”

Never one to react well when he felt cornered, he responded hotly, “We have been married for twenty years, Maria. It can get boring seeing the same body over and over again. Sometimes, I just need some variation!”

He regretted the outburst as soon as it came out, but it was too late. He had already said it.

For a few seconds, she was struck silent with her mouth open in shock. 

The phone started ringing again, but they both ignored it.

“Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean —”

But it was his turn to be shocked when she began to laugh. And laugh and laugh.

He didn’t know how to take her amusement at his statement. 

“You men are so funny. You are bored. And you think I’m not bored too? Do you think that we don’t see the ageing in you too? Or somehow, you think that women are created to be satisfied by the men we marry forever? We stay faithful because we respect you. And because we don’t even want to entertain the idea of betraying you like that!”

Her admission shocked him because he had genuinely never thought about it that way. It had never occurred to him that his wife may want anyone else. Scrambling for something to say to salvage the situation, he blurted with a spark of something he thought was wisdom until it left his mouth: “It’s not the same for women, Maria. Women don’t get the same opportunities to cheat as men do. There are all these young women that are attracted to old— ”

He was cut off by another burst of laughter from his angry wife. 

“The fact that you think younger men aren’t attracted to me is even more hilarious. Do you really believe that in twenty years of marriage, I’ve not had any opportunity to cheat with both younger men and our age mates? Is that what you think? Just yesterday I had to sternly tell a young man hitting hard on me that I was married! That is what I keep doing to everyone that hits on me because I was under the wrong impression that it’s what we were supposed to do.”

He stared at his beautiful wife and wondered why it hadn’t occurred to him that other men, especially younger ones, could be hitting on her. For some reason, he had thought that her being a married woman was holding the men at bay. 

“You never said anything. Why haven’t you been telling me about—”

“Oh get over yourself with your double standards,” she snapped. “Have you been telling me about the women hitting on you? Besides, I used to tell you earlier in our marriage, but you would get so unnecessarily upset that I stopped telling you about those things.”

He opened his mouth to protest the authenticity of her claim but shut it again when memories he had long forgotten resurfaced. 

He was at his wit’s end. He didn’t know what to do or say to make it better. The look on her face said that nothing could make it better, and as much as it made him panic, he knew he deserved everything that was coming to him.

“I’m sorry, Maria. I’m really sorry. Please forgive me.”

Maria couldn’t even look at him. She was heartbroken. She was familiar with the concept of men cheating, but she had never thought it was something she would have to deal with too. It showed just how naive she had been. 

She remembered all those times she felt smug about her marriage when someone brought up the subject of cheating husbands and bowed her head. Tears were prickling at her lids but she was determined not to cry — at least not yet. Not until she was alone by herself would she weep for the disillusionment and betrayal she was suffering.

Jake could see the hurt emanating from her, and he felt terrible. He hadn’t thought about her or her feelings while he was cheating, and now, faced with the consequences of his actions, he felt regret. But a piece of him still felt justified, so he foolishly blurted out,

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Maria. It’s just that men have more sexual needs— ”

Her head whipped around so fast that she got a whiplash. 

“Men have more sexual needs? So you cheated on me because I wasn’t pleasing you enough in bed? That’s rich, coming from you!”

“Babe, I don’t mean that you don’t—”

“We’ve been married for twenty years, Jake. Twenty years! You were the first man I was ever with and have been the only man I’ve ever been with. And for all those years, I can count the number of times I’ve had an orgasm with you. But somehow you think you’re the one who needs a new partner? Between the two of us, who has been putting in more effort in our sex life? Who has given the other more pleasure? More often than not, I have to attain my orgasm by myself after you get off. But you think I am being faithful to you because you’re a great lover and I don’t have needs that could be taken care of elsewhere?”

Jake opened his mouth and closed it again, shocked and offended by her words but unable to defend himself. 

When she got up and began to pace, he knew he was in trouble. She paced up and down from the bed to the bathroom entrance, muttering angrily to herself. She couldn’t believe that she had been so stupid. All this time, she had endured mediocre sex with the excuse that she couldn’t have it all; at least he was faithful and a good husband. She had convinced herself that good sex wasn’t all that important in the face of all the other things he did for her. And all this time, he was getting good sex from her and other women.

She whirled around as a thought occurred to her. 

“How many women, Jake? How many women have you cheated on me with?” 

He opened his mouth, beginning to sweat in the cool, air-conditioned room with his white towel still wrapped around his waist. Licking his lips nervously, he wondered how to approach the situation and leave unscathed. 

“Errm…”

“How many women!”

“Just two —”

“And don’t you dare lie to me! Don’t insult me further by lying to me, or I swear to God you’re going to regret it even more!”

At that point, Jake felt sorry for himself because he knew there was no way to come out of the situation unscathed. Remembering those encounters, he wondered if they had been worth the mess he was currently in. 

“I’m sorry Maria, please forgive me. I wasn’t thinking about how you would feel, and I’m sorry—”

“Answer the damn question!” she thundered, not in the mood for his apologies or self-serving remorse.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he hedged in an uncharacteristically low tone. 

Maria snorted out a laugh. “Well, news flash, dear husband, I’m already hurt. You hurt me the moment you put yourself in a situation where you could cheat.”

He had never seen her like this in twenty years of marriage, and he was afraid of losing her, so he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth. 

“Three. Three women,” he finally answered without looking at her. 

She didn’t answer, just calmly stared at him until he looked at her again.

“So at least six, because I know you’re lying. Did you use condoms for all those encounters?” she demanded in a calm voice that made him more nervous. 

“Yeah,” he stammered, although there were a few times that he had neglected protection.

She knew him, so she could tell that he was lying, and she felt another pang of hurt, disappointment, and disillusionment. 

“I’ll be getting tested tomorrow, and I better not have caught any disease from your escapades.”

He swallowed hard, feeling ashamed and hoping desperately that she hadn’t.

Moving away again to pace, she thought about the future of her marriage. She was overwhelmed by emotions and didn’t know what to do. She had never thought about what she would do if he cheated on her because she had never thought he would. Thinking about that, she felt stupid all over again. 

When she decided on how to proceed, she sat on the bed, facing him again.

“Okay, so this is what is going to happen. Since you’re obviously unsatisfied with our sexual life—” she gave him a sharp look to shut him up when he opened his mouth to protest “—and I’m certainly not satisfied either, there’s no reason we should suffer. We can both find sexual partners to satisfy our sexual needs. Shut up and listen!” She growled when he made a pitiful sound and tried to interrupt again.

“Since you did it at least six times, you must have enjoyed fucking new pussy. I am going to enjoy some new dick too,” she added crudely, feeling a pang of righteous satisfaction at the look on his face.

“And since you already have six under your belt, I’m going to get that same six to make it even, then we can start afresh together. If you want to fuck someone new, you let me know, and I’ll do the same when someone catches my attention. That way, none of us would be cheating on each other.”

She looked dispassionately at his broken demeanour and added, “Oh, and you’re free to file for divorce if you don’t like this arrangement because I frankly do not care anymore.”

Jake felt devastated. He couldn’t imagine his wife being with anyone else. The idea troubled him because he had always taken pride in being her first and only. But he couldn’t divorce her either. She was the pillar of his life—the one who made sure everything worked well for him. He might never admit it out loud, but he needed her a lot more than she needed him. 

While he was still pondering his fate, she moved to her side of the bed and lay down, covering herself with the blanket. “And you’re not sleeping next to me until the foreseeable future. Please get some night clothes and go to the guest room.”

He knew better than to argue, so he took a pair of pyjamas from his wardrobe and, with a last look at her, whispered “I’m sorry” before leaving the room.

He heard the first sob immediately after the door shut behind him, and unable to leave, he stayed behind the door, sliding to the floor and sitting with his knees to his chest. He wept with her as the sounds of her loud sobs pierced through him, and he wondered again if the encounters had been worth his broken wife.