I just realised that it’s #InternationalMasturbationDay and for a moment I was like, “Whoa! Is that how come I felt like touching myself this morning for the first time in months?” I woke up just before 5am because I needed to pee, and when I came back to bed I made the mistake of checking my phone for messages. Cue an hour and a half of random whatsapps, and checking my timeline on Twitter. Predictably, half an hour before my alarm was due to go off I started to feel tired, and sleepy. I also felt something else. A kind of heaviness in my lower abdomen. For a moment I was slightly puzzled and then I was like, “Oh my gawd, I’m horny.” I’m sure some of you are thinking, ‘Ermmm, why are you so excited to be horny’. Sigh, Girllllllll let me tell you what has been going on. This progestin only pill I have been on has completely killed my sexual desire. For the past 3 months I’ve rarely felt horny, I don’t randomly feel the need to use my vibrator, I don’t feel inspired to initiate sex. My boyfriend says he can’t wait for me to get back to my normal self. I can’t wait to get back to my normal self either. I miss the old me. The horny me. The one who would reach over and start stroking F because I wanted to get my groove back. And this morning I felt like, “Oh my goodness, my groove is not completely gone, dead and buried.” I just need to get off this fucking pill.
Happy Masturbation Day everybody. And apparently it is even Happy Masturbation Month, so let’s use this month to share masturbation stories. What do you like best about touching yourself? How do you touch yourself? How often do you masturbate? Email your stories to adventuresfrom[at]gmail[dot]com .