How to eat dick: The ‘normal’ guy

For the purpose of this article, I’m going to divide men into three groups; the Normal guy, the Open-to-Trying guy and the Badass.

You know into which your man falls so act accordingly. Please note, it’s not always easy to get a man to jump categories if he does not show the desire to do so himself, so save yourself a lot of heartache and just find the man that suits you.


1) The basic/normal guy: This guy enjoys a good fellating as part of sex but might not/never have given his partner head in return because he does not believe that it is ‘the done thing’ or thinks that area generally ‘unclean’ for anything other than his penis and is concerned about ‘menses’. He might use his hands from time to time but only through your clothes or underwear. Now, I wouldn’t normally touch this dude with a barge pole but you probably love him – sucker – and are willing to do what it takes to please him.

First start with touching this guy all over his body, but do not linger because that would be weird. Also, do not go anywhere near his buttocks or arsehole. He is not gay, you silly mare, as I’m sure he’s probably told you.

Next, move all his clothes away from your target – you don’t have to take them all off, but make sure that his dick is free of zippers and elastic bands. Give it a few firm strokes with your hand. You can use lubricant for this but if you’re worried about swallowing non-edible products like Vaseline (I don’t recommend using this. Are you trying to fry something?!) or lotion, a nice dollop of saliva will do. Drink some water to get the nice, clear type flowing.

If you want to add variety, use both hands to pump up and down, but try moving your hands around his dick in opposite directions.

When he is firm enough slip him in your mouth. Tuck your teeth behind your lips – no man wants to be reminded he is sticking his precious appendage into an orifice used to masticate things to a pulp. Not everyone can deep-throat so if you find that he is hitting the back of yours, wrap a hand around the base of his dick to shorten what goes into your mouth. If he has way too much girth for your comfort level – mandibular dislocation is a thing – then he will just have to content himself with you sucking on the head of his dick. You can still have fun if this is the case. The number one secret to eating dick like a pro is that you have to love what you’re doing.

Use your tongue to stimulate the underside of this dick as it goes in and out of your mouth. You can also stick it in the eye of his penis, a personal favourite of mine. It’s amazing how open it can get at this point.  Do NOT blow into it, no matter what. When you are comfortable, try moving your head up and down to take the power of thrusts from him. You don’t want him to go too deep. If you feel brave, lie down and let him control his movements.

If you don’t like the taste of sperm, watch carefully for when he balls start to tighten and rise up. This is your sign that he is about to come. GENTLY tug on his balls just as he feels an orgasm, pinching the head of his penis shut. He should then come without ejaculating. Don’t feel bad if there is still some liquid. Practice makes perfect.

Your ‘normal’ man may like it pretty straightforward but if he is the kind that takes a while to come, try having some props nearby; gargling some cold or hot water (not icy or err…boiling) can change the sensation he gets. Likewise peppermints in your mouth (if you must use Altoids, do not use more than one. Those things are curiously strong) or TomTom or Trebor sweets will be nice and tingly in between sucks and licks. Fizzy water is good too.

Naturally it’s up to you whether you spit or swallow.  But I find that swallowing means less to clean up afterwards.

Happy eating!

27 comments On How to eat dick: The ‘normal’ guy

  • As sexually liberated as i like to think i am, i did a ‘normal’ guy once; was very elated to recieve fellatio nd even expected it but never wanted to hear about reciprocating the favor. funny enough when i ended it with him, he came begging that he wanted one last chance to give me oral…puhleez, like six months wasnt enough time to dive in! 😉 . lovely read Nnenna…love the altoids pun 🙂

  • Nnenna, pardon me but I am unable to follow what you are describing. I am volunteering that you use me as your practical lesson/ guinea pig… That is the only was I can understand what you are describing…

  • Adjeley: Thanks! LOL. I was waiting to see who’d pick up on that.

  • I Can’t wait for BADASS!

  • what if you bite it by mistake and have to call 911? Woi…”hello, 911, I just bit the head off Okonkwo while giving him head” I’d literally die from heart failure if this ever happened…..LMAO

    Nice one Nnenna!!

  • LoL@ african mami.
    @nnena,it’s always fun reading your posts. bring on the “open to try” and “badass”. Can’t wait!

  • Shoot!!! I spelt my own name wrong! Apparently drinking and typing is not very wise either. LoL

  • Errr my initial comment is lost somewhere. Thank God for copy and paste.

    Lol@african mami
    @nnena, it is always fun reading your posts. Bring on “open to try” and “badass”. Cant wait!

  • @Ozohu: Hahahaha! Put the drink down! LOL. Open to try will be in the middle of the week while you wait for your Friday tonic – which incidentally is ready and waiting. 12.04pm tomorrow. Don’t be late! 😉

    @AfricanMami: Hei! Why now eh? I’m not sure I won’t swallow it o. Reflex, you see…

  • @Nnenna – I want to try this simultaneous holding of the balls and pinching the eye of the penis shut thingy 🙂

    Let me also introduce another type of guy I want us to talk about (although I confess I prefer for us to talk about women and what gets us off *wink* – which also includes going down on guys so I have just negated my previous statement )

    Anyhoo: The man who doesn’t come from oral. Personally I find that kinda annoying. I have been made to believe I give good head so when I come across one of those men who doesn’t get off on oral I’m like “Oh no, now he has to be f**king me all night to come” And those are also the kind of guys who like to ‘drive deep and hard’ which doesn’t do much for me at all. Can anyone identify?

  • I’ve had a deep driver before but he also loved and came from a good bj sesh so…no. And when I say he was a deep driver, you can tell he did it in my mouth too. Dude, are you KIDDING?! I WILL NOT DIE WITH A DICK IN MY MOUTH, ABEG!

    • @Nnenna – Oh my goodness.Cracking up here with “I WILL NOT DIE WITH A DICK IN MY MOUTH, ABEG!”. Had drinks with some girlfriends in Nairobi tonight and one of our topics of conversation was men with ultra large dicks…and none of us were fans. From those who make peeing painful, walking painful, and those that just make you just put your clothes back on and call a can 🙂

      @Ozohu – Hmmmm. You know I’m with you sister. I need to write a post on those ‘impossible to cum brothers’. Not good for my ego at all 🙂

  • I can surely use some skills here, the pinching thing sounds interesting 🙂

  • @nana, i identify no be small. not a fan of the “impossible to come with oral guy” o. luckily i have only had 1 of those. to me it’s not just annoying, it tampers with my ego. i don’t like.

  • @ Nnena,

    HABA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *MULTIPLE DEATHS!!!! RESURRECTIONS AND THEN ASCENCION TO GLORY!!!!****—->i will not die with a dick in my mouth.

  • Nana &Ozohu u ladies are very fortunate u just met one each!for me those guys hve taken my ego &self esteem to the cleaners!Kyeres3 they simply refuse to come,which kain nonsense be that?I have given up on those.*sigh*

    • @Abena – Ei, did I give the impression that its only one ‘refuses to cum’ guy that I’ve met recently. I’ve met in the last 3 months…with the last guy I came 5 times over one night/morning (and only because I was like enough – he felt he hadn’t met his mental goal of 10) and he came 0 times….even though he did try to tell me that how he was feeling at one point in time was better than an orgasm, and that it felt really good (blah, blah, blah)…does it remind you of anything 🙂

  • Nana D, i can so relate, i dated this guy once…he use to do things to my body i had never imagine…and so i also wanted to show him my skills in bj… but this guy will never cum…i cld be at it for close to 15mins with my jaws hurting…he will make all the right noises n still wont cum aabah! He’s reason was tht he never cums frm a bj…

  • @Nana Akosua: I can soo relate to this!over 15min &my jaw can’t just take it anymore.hehehe.and u get soo tired of doing it and hoping for an explosive result.some guys have just decided to tune off and not come by ‘head’ no matter how skillful u are.
    @Nana:haha,ok good to know it not just one person.and yes oo I know the blah blah talk.u should write a post on how men refuse to cum with ‘head’,u would get a lotta comment.lool.

  • Am close to an impossible to come guy…. very annoying… you ladies should see it from our perspective… we WANT to come… In my case, I think I’m unusually penile retentive… but there is a single woman in Accra who has a 90% success rate with me, what she does differently, I don’t know, but it works. Well worth putting her on a retainer… but…

  • Man has to lick womans fluids but womans put the head away in the key moment cause “agg, its not tasty…”.

  • As a woman who struggles to come with men who do not listen and adjust their techniques for my needs, I feel this comment thread is a bit harsh towards men… Not something I expected from supposedly open minded blog…

  • Don: White Chocolate

    From a man’s perspective, as part of the act, I really get so hot when my Queen licks and gently sucks my balls. Never neglect the balls! Just a suggestion from a man for your consideration.

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