OD remains the only man whose love slips through my heart unconsciously.
Why aren’t we together? Story for another day.
When we met 2 years ago, we knew we were the same person in different bodies. I am sure some of you have somebody like that in your lives.
Anyway, when OD called me and asked in his usual impudent tone if my night was busy, I badly wanted to say “Yes! I am busy!” But marghn, the silk in that voice, tickled me in a familiar spot.
And then he said “please babe”
I really couldn’t keep fighting that. This was about the 100th call to meet up OD had placed to me in 2 years. My heart was still vacant and instead of the usual boring Friday night, I decided to have a date.
He got to my gate over two hours late and I was already seething and texting him blastings. It brought back horrible reminders of why we broke up in the first place. But the best thing about OD, was his boyish charm, his easy way of making me forget the world wasn’t ours.
The moment he jumped out of his car, he had me in his arms and lifted up so tickly I was squealing with laughter. I had to force him to drop me long enough to warn him never to keep me waiting again. He murmured a seductive sorry. That sweet, chiseled face with chubby hints of age, the toned body I knew which was giving way to a slight lackadaisical pot belly. Very slight. I joked about it, he laughed about how I was privileged to have known it in it’s hey days. Hahahaha! Yea, this was my good ole OD. A mixture of easy going love and rich, deep, warm laughter.
My twin of a different gender…perhaps that’s the main reason it never worked.
The only man who ever got me scared was OD. Because he was a walking, talking male version of me. So bad we even had the same birthday. Yea! We did! We spoke the same things at the same time, thought the same things at the same time, found peace in each other’s eyes.
So, we headed to a cosy little spot down my road. Good music, soft sofas which we sunk in and ordered drinks. I am a wine freak…so is he. We indulged.
Thank God the place was largely deserted except for two other lovers who were more engrossed in themselves than we were. Our hands, lips, bodies found each other without prompting.
This was old, cherished, familiar and still hyper exciting. OD was the man I could kiss an hour and still feel 16. The time flew somewhere between the long convo we had to catch up on. And when we got back to my apartment, we kissed long at the gate. His hands were beneath my scandalously skimpy dress, pressing into my pelvis. He begged to be let in and I begged him to just go home.
He wouldn’t hear it. Eventually I wrestled myself out of his arms with a lot of effort and run upstairs.
Some ten minutes afterwards, I walked out onto the balcony and OD was still parked at my gate. Nopes, he wasn’t leaving.
I went down, opened the gate and literally flew into his arms.
He carried me halfway up the stairs before our bodies took over. Pent up need, fury, certain but halting love and a need of familiar fulfillment drove us.
His dick wasn’t exactly big but it filled me just when I managed to crawl onto the hall carpet.
We were delirious, drawing on each other like we would never have this night again. All I remember afterwards is that I woke up very thirsty and very naked in OD’s arms at about 3 A.M.
As I moved, he stirred and we made our way to the bedroom…
32 comments On Guest Contributor: Purple Tussle – Old Sparks.
An evocative tale, made me yearn for something similar. Thanks Purple Tussle, and keep your contributions coming. I like 🙂
Nana, you should call an ex up! 😛
Hmmmm at the moment I don’t think I have an ex close by who evokes that emotion in me 🙂
aww, old sparks are very sweet. If you ask me, I’ll say that my ‘OD’ is my boyfriend, which is probably why we keep coming back together even after we break up. Which makes me wonder if I end up with someone else eventually, whether I’ll feel that same way about my new love & whether life’s responsibilities (kids, work, a new life) will make me forget my current boyfriend. Or whether that won’t happen & I won’t be able to forget him.
@Ekuba – Eh? Are you guys back on again? Looolllll I can’t keep up 🙂 This your sankofa dier
hahahaa! Nana D, you made me laugh so much that all the people around me are staring (I’m in the library!!!!!) I know right! I myself haven’t been able to keep count. Hmmm, ns3m pii
Ekuba, mine went and got married, had a kid and divorced.
The lure was too strong. I hope I don’t fall back in his trap. LoL!
@ Purple Tussle: awwww, I’m sooo sorry to hear that. (speaking like the idealistic twenty something that I am), do you think you’re going to fall back into his arms or would that complicate matters because you’re ‘already taken’?
I was taken, broke up and getting back together. But I do prefer getting back with the other instead of OD. OD is greatb but he didn’t make me as happy. So I choose happiness.
God, exes can be the devil. I had one whole blog about one. It’s been 7 years and I heard from him last 2 weeks asking me …things. What guts! Still married with three children o! I jump and pass. *Clicks fingers to ward off evil*
But my God, his body is FRICKIN’ tight! Still. Biceps, flat tight stomach, tight ass…
No temptation there though. He was a d-bag.
Oh, he’s married to the woman he left me for , by the way. I had heard from him once before when they were only married a YEAR and she was pregnant and he wanted to hook up then. That’s why I’m jumping and passing.
you should run from all those super hot exes. They know it and exploit it. And while at it, he probably jumps when the wifey calls. He will get back in touch with mushy tales about you and him. Lies! All lies! Catching your fun is another thing but never take them seriously.
@ Nnnenna: I don’t understand why some exes behave that way ie: dump their girlfriends to marry someone then a short while after their wedding, try to hook up with the now ex girlfriend. Is it that after they married the wife, they find out they’re still in love with their ex girlfriend or they’re just exploiting her for sex? One of my friend’s 2 exes all dumped her to marry other women (one even impregnated the wife to be before dumping my friend for her) but now, they call my friend everyday & one has even been hooking up with her regularly. I wonder what that is all about & it makes me angry for my friend because I feel like she’s being ‘used’. But she always tells me it’s because he loves her & then I shut up.
Ekuba, he doesn’t love her. None of them does. Not as long as they are still with their wives. Your friend needs to get it together and demand better treatment. If she allows them act like this in the name of love, she is going to be the only one sad, angry and lonely at the end of thee day.
I know a woman who has ended up with 3 babies by her ex. More infuriating, she was with him first but he left her for to marry another woman. It’s not like they even broke up before he went with the other woman.
Then he keeps sneaking back to her and she keeps taking him back. Well now she has 3 kids with him, the other woman has 1 kid and she is still alone and clueless. I pray she doesn’t have a fourth child!
@ purple tussle: yay, so glad you responded! I meant to type ‘@ purple tussle’ on my previous comment because I wanted a response from you. I have no idea why I typed ‘@ Nnenna’ (maybe because you guys were discussing the topic? 3 babies thing & the man still hasn’t married her? It’s really a cruel world. What explanation is she supposed to give to the kids when they grow up? Thanks for the advice. I’ve kind of shied away from telling my friend anything because I wasn’t sure if it was love or something else but I’ll probably draw her attention to what you’ve said now. I feel as if it’s drawing her back because she’s not giving any other guy a chance & meanwhile this dude is just wasting her time & then going back to his darling wife after it all. It boosts her ego that it means she has something the guys can’t resist but I think they’re just using her for sex, you know?
Hahhahaha! My talkative self just had to respond !
Of course it’s for sex. She is giving them the variety they need while they stay committed to who they really want. If she was so irresistible, they would have chosen her to begin with. With such friends, I suggest you mention it once and never push it. She will come to that realization herself. And the guys she had a chance with, would have moved on. You need strong will actually because those exes are telling her the best nonsense just to massage her ego into serving the ‘extra cookie’
This is from a man’s perspective. If a man should leave a girlfriend to marry another woman it means he doesn’t love her enough to want to settle with her. The only exception I will give is if by accident the man impregnates another woman and felt obliged to marry her either for religious reasons or parental pressure. One of the reasons men keep going back to their exes is the sex. May be you find out you are married to a prude and sex with your ex is so good you want to back for more but we all know there is more to marriage than sex. Another reason is that no marriage is perfect. Sometimes soon after marriage when reality kicks in there could be hints of regret especially when as a couple you are having problems which means no intimacy. Then its easier to go back to your ex to get what you are not getting at home but then it still boils down to the sex. Another reason is the man being mischievous and wanting to eat his cake and still have it. Such men are very naughty, live risky lifestyles and always want to have their way. So anyhow you see it it can’t be love. If its love the man will quit his marriage and then settle down to marry his ex. My two cents.
Hey Kweku…just wanted to point out the obvious…this is ‘your perspective’, not ‘ a man’s perspective’. Thanks for sharing 🙂
@ Purple Tussle: Thanks, I think I’ll only mention it once to her & then hope for the best (& maybe give her ex the evil look next time he visits her & I’m around lol).
@ Kweku: That really explains a lot. To be quite honest, I never realized that it might just be about sex or the fact that there might be problems. Putting myself in my friend’s shoes, I think it feels good when a guy who dumped you for another girl comes back to you. I think you feel like you have something irresistible & also it shows that you’re better at keeping him interested than his wife. Then again, I think it makes you feel like you’re ‘punishing’ the girl he left you for somehow by having sex with him & spending time with him. It’s would be quite painful to admit that it’s all lust or his desire to have ‘variety’ & not love.
@Ekuba, you see the difference between being just in a relationship with a lady and married and living with her is that in a relationship you only tend to see each other when both of you want to and so your experiences together are largely pleasurable whereas in marriage, you have to deal with the mundane things like baby nappies, the naggings, the sulking, disagreements and the repetitive routines that can sometimes be boring. You cannot pick and choose as it is a full package. With relationships, however, you can easily back out if its no longer pleasurable or if the naggings are becoming too much. So its kind of escapism for the men to have a bit on the side to keep the excitement going although at home it could be boring or fireworks. One thing I have found out is that when it comes to love feelings and emotions tend to overule sense. Once you are in love you don’t tend to make rational decisions anymore. Whatever you do is to please the one you love whether or not it is in your interest. You are virtually at the mercy of the one you have fallen in love with. That person, whether a man or woman can choose to abuse the fact that they have got hold of you emotionally. If they are considerate they will not do things to hurt your interest but if they are ruthless and care less then you the one in love is definitely in trouble. Your friend will never make rational decisions until she falls out of love. You can keep pointing out to her the flaws of her actions but she will turn deaf ears until falls out of love or the relationship runs into a ditch and then she will realise there is no other way than to get out despite how painful that may be. This thing called love Na Wa ooo!
Thanks Kweku. You laid it out truthfully.
Wow, Kweku thanks for breaking it down. I think I’ll be sensitive to what you just described about love whenever discussing the relationship with my friend. In any case I ‘m not sure if we’ll be talking about it anymore because I talked to her about it yesterday & it ended up in a quarrel so we’re officially not talking now! lol. I guess from what you’ve explained about love, I should just let her be although it breaks my heart for her. One thing she kept telling me yesterday was that she knows that he loves her because he’s told her several times & he’s not some player because he feels guilty about what he’s doing & even tells her sometimes. Then she asked me that if he loved his wife so much why would he keep coming to her? I couldn’t really answer that \. I guess it’s still hard for me myself to grasp that he can love his wife but still be doing all this with my friend.
@Ekuba you can leave your friend to come to her own conclusion. What you can’t be is to be preachy about it. The relationship will eventually run into a ditch unless the man dramatically divorces his wife and marry her but its very very rare for that to happen. Should he even divorce his wife he may end up marrying someone else. Thats how it is. If it wasn’t meant to be it won’t be even if she stays with the man for over twenty years. In the end she will realise that she is wasting her time but then its too late. There are always exceptions to the rule but in this case my instinct tells me that she is on the road to nowhere. To date I don’t understand why women attach more importance to words than actions. The less romantic men believe more in actions than words and the so called romantic men are all talk and no action but I have found out women prefer the words more than the actions. So some women will continue to be deceived by words. The sweetest words will be whispered into your ears but when it comes to action the men will find excuses to justify why they can’t act. Just be there for your friend and provide a listening ear. Don’t say because she will not listen to your advice you don’t want to know. Granted once she has control over her feelings and able to think rationally concerning her love affairs she will begin to listen to you. Before she gets to that point you have to be non-judgemental and listen to all her inconsistencies.
@ Kweku: you’re absolutely right, I have to try not to be too preachy to her, my friend is not even here in the US with me so I wonder how I was able to annoy her so much over the phone, I thought I was being as non-judgmental as possible. I’ve probably been doing a bad job of disguising my feelings about their relationship. I love my friend but I know her ex’s wife (from school) & she’s a really sweet girl. In fact, sources say that my friend’s now married ex has kept his relationship with my friend hidden from his wife. My friend is always badmouthing her ex’s wife & she thinks she’s paying her back for ‘stealing’ her boyfriend or something but I think it’s unfair because I suspect that the wife didn’t know her husband was someone’s ‘boyfriend’ when he proposed to her. In any case, I have no option that to listen to my friend if things don’t work out & she wants to talk etc. because I care about her a lot. I really wish she could find another man but I understand why she loves her ex so much, I think he’s everything a woman would want in a man (apart from his cheating behavior) & he’s so romantic, always buying her stuff. My friend has a hot temper (hello, no wonder why we fought lol) & the guy is the only one who’s able to calm her down & listen to her. He got back with her like a year after he married & he told her he’s sorry he did that but his temper scared him off to marry his wife (who’s very docile & sweet like I said).
On 2nd thoughts, I don’t blame my friend for feeling this way because seriously, it’s almost like her relationship with her ex is a kind of marriage. He spends ALL of his time with her. It’s crazy. Sometimes, I wonder if his wife doesn’t ask questions. Even important days like Christmas & vals day (she told me he spent the whole evening with her on vals & went home like 10 or 11pm). & he’s really kind towards her & stuff, he even shed tears a little one time when she asked him to leave (I was there & he turned up with a present or something & she said he should go). I just don’t get it that if he acts this way & is practically married to her, why would he not be with her but his wife? But that’s another story. Hmm, lest I forget, he even takes her to functions at his office & they talk on the phone at all odd hours like midnight sometimes!
@Ekuba you keep referring to your friend’s partner as an ex when in fact it is now a fully blown relationship. From what I glean from you it is more like a marriage albeit a polygamous one which has not been regularised by customary marriage or marriage ordinance. The guy is really having is cake and eating it. For him to be away from home that much and not facing any sanctions or monitoring means either he is very good at lying or his wife has resigned to her fate that he will always cheat and has decided that she will not risk breaking up by confronting her husband head on but rather accept his filandering ways for the sake of keeping the marriage. And your friend is consenting to it. At least for the second time round she was fully aware that he is married before deciding to get back to him. And he doesn’t want to let go of your friend because it is conviinient to have an extra-marital affair when your accomplice is fully aware of the situation so that at least you won’t have to be lying too much to the mistress. So he has got your friend when he wants her to be and will enjoy the luxury for as long as it is possible. He wouldn’t feel it if his wife wants to withold sex from him because he can get it elsewhere.
@ND Lol Its Kweku’s perspective and Kweku is a man therefore its a man’s perspective abi although I admit its not the perspective of all men!
which is my point exactly @Kweku 🙂
This has been interesting. Perhaps Kweku needs to do us a piece on why men go back to their exes. The varying angles and general goals.
@Purple tussle I wish I had the writing skills and the imagination to write the kind of articles I have been reading on this forum. From Malaka, Nnena Marcia, VV (by the way where is VV she seems to have fallen off the radar), Asantewaa, and lately Saffron. You are all brilliant and up and coming writers with excellent imagination. I need to go on a writing skills course to perhaps awake any writing skills that I may have in me. For your information I was more mathematically inclined when I was in school. I liked the calculations and the sciene subjects. I must admit I did not like reading. Its only that I find the topics here fascinating and it can hold my interest thats why I tend to read the articles here. Sorry I may be disappointing but I hope you will bear with me.
@Kweku..it’s not disappointing as long as you keep the comments coming. Soon you will do a piece. It will find you. LoL.
lol I’m so glad I found this page. I lol coz I’m in a crazy web too. Thee ex n I have been chatting n got pretty intimate not physically coz we miles away. last week he tells me he has a kid as tho that wasn’t enough days later he says he has another on the way. BUT in all of this he still wants to see if we can be? o_O