“Nana you are an attractive woman with a decent life and a job with a salary? So why cant you decide what you want. Is it a husband, a regular man to give you what you want whatever that is, a regular shag or just a good fuck with whoever is available. maybe a baby. In the modern world the choice is yours. Its about give and take what wont you do?”
That was a comment that Mike made on my vlog about ‘2013: My shitty sex life so far’. I gasped when I read it and started laughing. That’s the perennial existential question isn’t it? What do you want? What does any one of us want? In some areas of my life I know very much what I want. It’s easy for me to say what I want in relation to my business, career, family, friendships, health but a question like the one above can leave me temporarily stumped. One of those questions I can almost answer easily. I want a baby. Well, not want want… My life won’t end if I don’t/can’t have a baby. I want a baby more because I think it would be safer for me to try for a baby and have one, than look back at my life when I am 60, unable to make babies and think, “My one regret in life was that I didn’t have a baby”. That was what one woman said to a group including me at a tech training camp I went to in 2008 and those words stayed with me. So I know for a lot of people that will not be a satisfactory response but I want a baby so I don’t regret not having a baby in the future. Plus my parents are desperate for a grandchild. And they have made it very clear to me that an adopted grandchild just won’t do (I plan to adopt in the future so 1 biological child, and whether I have a biological child or not I plan to adopt at least 1 child when I’m 40/in a better financial situation), and a big part of me likes to give my parents what they want. Besides I look at the relationship I have with my mother, and I think it will be great to have that relationship with someone one day.
A husband? A regular man to give me what I want? A regular shag or a good fuck with whoever is available? To a large extent all the above but the first one is important to me 🙂 Marriage has never been that important to me however I would want a father for my child and not a sperm donor. So I am open to considering various relationship options that could include civil marriage as my least favourite option. If I was to get married again I would prefer to have a traditional Ghanaian wedding more for the buy in of family. I am also interested in having a co-parenting agreement with a suitable man who can meet his share of financial, caring and emotional responsibilities towards our child.
What won’t I do? I’m not even sure I understand what you’re asking but keeping it in the context of relationships I will say, I won’t settle for a relationship just to be in a relationship.
13 comments On What kraa does Nana Darkoa want? My response to Mike
So when will you decide your not getting younger are. I am 67 and made these mistakes of not doing only dreaming. Many years ago I saw a truly beautiful woman and found my self unable to speak up and he walked away. Was it because she was BLACK ? and all those years ago that was not acceptable in the UK ? about 9 years ago I joined with two friends in going to Nigeria for their wedding, she is Nigerian, and I met two special ladies but I didn’t have money to contemplate marriage. Two years ago I was Lagos and at last I had a black woman fantastic was it because she was BLACK ?. That’s a lot of questions and I look forward to your response. The bottom line is this what ever it is you want go for it before its too late like me as I cant get an erection any more and no juice either. Honest answers only.
so sorry she of course.
Errr….okay Mike! I think we know more about you than we could ever anticipate. In other news, your concern for my bestie is touching. I think we can all rest assured that Nana will certainly get what she wants once she decides.
🙂 Thanks for the support BFFFL. Hahaha I couldn’t quite figure out how to respond to Mike. He’s brought up a whole lot of other potential subjects to blog on…exoticisation of black women, the complexities of inter racial relationships…I mean this blog post is no longer about me at all
I did see your vlog. Do follow your blogs too. 1st impression, this is one bold and confident girl. I admire your Inner strength to be able to talk and express the way you feel. I pray you get a wonderful friend who will be a great husband. Whoever the dude will be, must be open minded and confident as well to compliment you. Wish you all the best, Nana
Thanks Kojo. That’s a really sweet comment. I appreciate your good wishes
My intention was to show what can happen if you wait too long. And the criticism yes you are right. So n[be strong and decisive and don’t take too long.
You look gorgeous in the photograph Nana! Your idea of co-parenting is fascinating – I know people who’ve tried it in various ways with varied results.
Tell me more Saffron. I want to know what kind of results others have had with co-parenting?
Why have a blog if you don’t talk. It would be interesting to read more about your thoughts on having a less shitty life.
Sigh. Mike all I do on this blog is talk. My thoughts on having a less shitty life? Read between the lines. I don’t actually have a shitty life…
nana you look stunning on that pic, i totally admire that your blogs are so open minded we can relate, choose to agree or disagree. as for mike perhaps you should start a blog or should i say (plog) #p4penis addressing all the guys out there who still think they have plenty of time only to wake up too late like.
Grace, at last somebody got to the point of original note. But isn’t it true of the African women in their bedrooms too. Your Talk is reflective of something is it more true to your life than you admit.