He was supposed to be a palette cleanser after a short relationship that went horribly wrong. I’d never been in a FwB situation in my 35 years and this fellow had been pursuing me for just that for a number of years and my response had always been “No!” The man is rather good looking, great physique, a fantastic kisser, and it felt to me like he was packing the ideal equipment for the job … yeah, I’d tested that part of things during a make-out session long ago, so I decided that if I was to do this Friends with Benefits thing, then this would be the perfect guy!
How is the sex you ask? Boring! Seriously! It’s unimaginable. I think the myth that good looking guys are horrible in bed is actually true. They turn up and imagine that’s all they need to do! I’ve spoken up about my needs and adjustments have been made but still … I thought that this type of illicit sex would be panty soaking exciting. I don’t even know why he keeps coming for more since he has no problem in the ladies department. Is sex just sex wherever/however it can be found?
Frankly I can’t take it anymore so my question is, how do I get out of this without ruining a friendship (he is an interesting individual outside this situation) Is it possible?
How should I do it? Have a conversation, continuously decline his invites until he gets the hint, ghost?
If I have the conversation should it be in person, before or after a hook-up, facts or general statements?
Help me out guys … what/how would you prefer to be broken up with in a non-relationship
I could possibly be overthinking this but FwB etiquette is something I have no idea about.
4 comments On ‘How shall I break up with my buddy’ asks Guest Contributor ThatGirlQ
I say be direct. Tell him the arrangement is not working for you and you will prefer not to continue.
What exactly is the problem? You sound pretty vague, boring is not a problem that can’t be rectified. Maybe you know more than him and need to slap him to reality. If he has the tools teach him how to work with it. Not all men are professionals, we always have the upper hand!
Is he really your fuck buddy or is he a friend with benefits. Because they are not the same thing and you need to figure out which one you want. Unfortunately, we start playing these social games that we don’t really understand and they become confusing, but you seem to know what you want and it is good SEX.
You don’t have a contract that you must fulfill and neither label require that you do so. If he is your friend, just tell him that you rushed into a sexual relationship after a bad relationship and you just realized that you need some time to work through some personal issues. However, be very careful that you don’t go humping a mutual friend because it will blow-up in your face. If he becomes arrogant about the matter. Then you unleash the the truth and let him have it raw and dry.
Don’t sweat this situation, but don’t ignore him because you will lose his friendship anyway, if it truly means anything to you!
My advise is to say to him, “you know what, I’ve been thinking about our relationship and bringing sex into a friendship always causes complications. I value our friendship so I want us to dial back to being just friends”..and don’t deviate from that line, accept no arguments. Just end it
Thank you for your input …
Leslie – I really doubt I know more than this guy. Hardly any foreplay + missionary + quick = boring. There’s a difference between a FwB and a Sex Buddy? Pray tell, what’s the difference?
Like I said before this is not an arrangement I’m planning to get into again so I’m unlikely to hump any of his friends.
Nana and Palava woman, next time he tries to make plans I’ll let him know where I stand. Hopefully the friendship survives.