Teach Me How To Flirt

(Inspired by my first conversation with Tangawizi of Someplace Beautiful)

1. Smile and say hello

And maintain eye contact. Sometimes the universe is on your side and it’s that simple. 

It worked with The Cute Zanzibari, but then I dropped the ball on the follow-through. I missed my opening thrice. SMH.

2. “I want to kiss you”

I find declarations like these sexy AF. 

In the words of DJ Miss Ray, “Say what you want, and want what you say.” 

Worked perfectly with Lamu Bae. She kissed me and proceeded to finger fuck me the rest of the car ride. It was glorious. I can still hear her whisper “bye baby” in my ear. 

21’s response was, “So kiss me.” 

I vibe with 21’s energy. I can’t wait to write about him.

3. Compliments 

“You’re just… Mmmh lovely,” a babe told me that and I lost my shit. She wasn’t even flirting but I got all hot and wet over her because of that for a long minute. 

It’s a little embarrassing how I flirted back and she didn’t respond. Ever. 

Still.

I continue to give my potential lovers endless opportunities to blush, smile, and say thank you. You should see Tangawizi’s face when this is them, gaaaaad. Their face has endless layers of beautiful (& cute & sexy) that are arousing as fuck to discover.

I refuse to be slowed down by missed shots.

4. “Come home with me”

This one’s a favorite. All hits so far. Usually when I’m out at my local and I’m DTF and I meet someone fuckable and we have chemistry. 

Although, I did take someone home who stole my work phone. In retrospect, I see the red flags, but it was 4 am and he was fun to talk to so I didn’t notice immediately.

I’m glad we went home to a blackout, else I’d have probably lost more than just the phone.

Be warned.

5. “I had a sex dream about you”

I had a super hit and a super miss with this one. 

It was a hit with Tangawizi, of course. 

Not so much with this girl I’d been lusting over for the longest. Reception from her was, let’s just call it, politely frosty. 

In her defense, I came out of nowhere with that DM. We hadn’t spoken in years and I’d never directly expressed that I wanted her. After that brush off, I humbly unfollowed her and went back to my promise to myself to stop dipping into the past. Mbele kama injili.

On a brighter note, the Tangawizi sex dreams keep coming. Yes and thank you, Universe!

6. Music + Playlists

I share songs and playlists with lovers (and potential lovers) as a long-term charm offensive. Something Robert Greene calls ‘entering their spirit’. 

Songs also help me keep track of who’s who and what’s what. They store the feelings and energy that I attached to the experiences I had (or want to have) with each person.

G-spot by Wayne Marshall will forever get me mad wet over Tangawizi; 

21’s song is Something New by Wiz Khalifa; that’s how I noticed him and shortly after made sex plans. Shortly after that, he took me on an insane pleasure rollercoaster. Like I said, I can’t wait to write about 21.

MC Hammer’s song is Stick by Khaligraph Jones. He’s a dope MC. He sang as he rhymed for me, his fingers moving on my clit… I live for intense shit like this.

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Entertained? Help me up my game. Comment below with your flirting stories.