Navigating the Depths of Grief: How Loss Alters Our Perception of Life

Written by Omekedo Efemena Obialunamma

Can we take a moment to appreciate how unpredictable and exhilarating life can be? One moment, you are singing along to your favorite tunes, and the next, you get hit by a powerful chord that leaves you spinning. That’s where grief steps in; uninvited and cunning, turning our symphony upside down. I want to share a personal journey with you – losing a friend who was family, and how this loss changed my entire life. 

Imagine this, the sun shining bright, birds chirping merrily, and life feeling like an unstoppable happiness parade. Okay, maybe not as amazing as my writing sounds. But,  life felt like life at that moment. I was living, existing, still weighed down by the silent grief of losing a friend earlier in the year. That other grief felt slightly familiar, like old pain I was used to carrying.  But then, out of nowhere, like an unexpected crash, I lost another friend; someone I held close and on some days, felt like family. The grief that followed hit me like a haunting melody, echoing through my soul, leaving me feeling like all the notes of life had suddenly turned flat.

At first, I found myself in a surreal haze, where reality and dreams blurred together. The vibrant colors of life now seemed dim, and the world felt somewhat hollow, like a song without its chorus. Grief had gripped my heart, and I started questioning the very essence of existence. I remember the first time it hit me that they had left. I was frantically typing away on my phone, sending messages upon messages, hoping that somehow I could get them to answer me. It’s been 9 months, and all I have left is the sound of their voice and memories I did not even know were memories at the time of their creation. 

Grief, as odd as it may sound, gifted me a new set of lenses to see the world. It’s like wearing cool shades that reveal life’s hidden layers, exposing its delicate and transient nature. Suddenly, there is this awareness. The awareness that none of us is getting out of here alive. I go to their Instagram at least once every two weeks, to simply just stare. Stare and wonder why life can be so beautiful yet so flat, so empty. 

Sure, grief brought its fair share of pain, but it also brought some much-needed clarity. It taught me that life isn’t a never-ending party; it’s more like a bittersweet concert, with moments of soaring highs and soul-stirring lows. Grief opened me up to a whole spectrum of emotions, and I found solace in embracing the ups and downs.

Losing my friend also made me cherish relationships. Just like a skilled conductor, grief showed me the importance of treasuring the people we hold dear. Life is full of unpredictable cadences, and we never know when the final note will ring. So, I learned to savor the laughter, the late-night talks, and to simply just live. Most importantly, love as well. 

Grief has painted a beautiful masterpiece of emotions in my heart; each color represents a memory, a lesson, a connection. So, here’s the deal, grief isn’t just about loss; it’s about growth too. Quite frankly, the growth is hard to see sometimes; most times. The only growth grief has given me is the ability to embrace the moment. There is no tomorrow. Tomorrow is now. 

Grief is a profound and transformative experience that alters the very core of our being. It has the power to reshape our perspective on life, revealing its fragility and illuminating its beauty. I hope you find its beauty one day. I am still struggling to find the light, but I know soon enough, I might. To my grief-laden babies in the world, it slowly but surely gets better. One day, soon enough, you will find that light again. For now, it’s okay to live. Going through each day quietly with the pieces of your heart as you try to find repair.