Nobody is as serious about marriage as a mother who is desperate for their daughter to get married. My mother started with subtle hints about finding a serious relationship that would lead to marriage when I turned 23. The hints became pointed questions and suggestions when I turned 25 and showed no interest in relationships in general. By 27, she started begging, using emotional blackmail, and trying to set me up with her friends’ sons and “nice young men” she met. I managed to evade her matchmaking until I was 29.
I had been coerced to accompany her to a friend’s 60th birthday party. I knew it was probably a matchmaking trap, but I couldn’t get out of it because she had just recovered from an injury and had no one else to drive her.
So when the celebrant, a strikingly beautiful woman who didn’t look a day over fifty, saw me, she smiled wider. “Oh, Cecelia! You brought your beautiful daughter!”
As we wished her a happy birthday and exchanged pleasantries, she studied me like a woman eyeing a beautiful but obscenely expensive dress she wanted to buy. I kept my expression pleasant and sighed inwardly, knowing what was to come.
“My son Brempong just returned from the UK temporarily for my birthday,” she said after I presumably passed her inspection. “Your mom said you just moved to Manchester from Croydon. He used to live at Croydon too. I’m sure you will have lots in common. Now, where is that boy? He was with me just before you came in.”
She looked around the party guests for her son while I eyed my mother, who was pointedly avoiding my eyes. It was almost hilarious the way her friend was not being subtle at all about what this was.
“Oh! There he is,” the celebrant exclaimed, hailing at a man about my age who just walked into view. I checked him out as he walked over to us. He was tall—taller than me in my heels—which was unusual. He was a dark-skinned, handsome man with a great smile who looked like his mom if she was dark and a man.
He looked even more impressive close-up, and my internal senses pinged. Well, I didn’t expect this at all. This was interesting. Then the name clicked. My mother had been trying to get me to meet with him while I was in the UK.
His mother introduced us, and the first time we locked eyes, I knew he was perfect for me. We held each other’s stare for a good ten seconds, neither of us speaking as we took each other in. We recognised each other as kindred spirits, stuck in a life that only a few understood. When we smiled slowly at each other, our mothers, who had planned this matchmaking session relentlessly for six months, exchanged a look of satisfaction and elation that their plan had worked. And it had, even more than they could have imagined, in a way that would shock them to know their divine matchmaking skills.
We both ignored our smug mothers and found our voices to speak to each other.
“Hello, I’m Brempong,” he said, his voice just loud enough for me to hear.
“I’m Ohenewaa,” I replied, still smiling wide.
“Nice to meet you, Ohenewaa. Now I regret never calling the number my mother acquired for me months ago.”
I chuckled. “I might have broken my rule of never chasing after men and reached out to you too if I had known I was going to meet someone like you.”
He smiled. “At least we’ve finally met.”
We stared at each other some more, both of us still in disbelief at our luck. It was rare to meet someone who was exactly what you needed but didn’t even dream of because you didn’t think it possible. And the fact that it was happening through our mothers made it even more surreal.
We spend the rest of the party chatting and getting to know each other. It was incredibly easy, like talking to a long-time friend we had regained contact with. I told him about my life in the UK and how I was thinking of moving back home in a year or two. He had the opposite problem. He wanted to move there permanently, where he was starting a business with his best friend, Cole, a biracial Ghanaian he had met at university. They’d hit it off immediately. “It was fate, because we became roommates by accident. He came to the wrong room, and we liked each other immediately. By the time we realised that he wasn’t meant to be there, it was too late, and luckily, the person he was initially supposed to share a room with never reported, so he was allowed to stay. I really hope you guys like each other,” he finished. I understood the importance of that, because I was hoping that he and my bestie Bella would get along too. I told him about Bella, how much we love each other and everything we went through together in London. “She’s been my anchor through very difficult times and supported me through it all. She’s the best. You’ll love her!”
“I can’t wait to meet her,” he said. “I hope our besties get along too. This would make it even more perfect.”
I hoped the same. That would make this truly unbelievable.
“If this goes as well as I think it will, maybe we could stay in the UK and come home from time to time,” he suggested.
“Aren’t you jumping the gun?” I asked, but I was extremely excited and hopeful — more than I had ever been when I thought of my future.
“I know I’m moving very fast, but I have a great feeling about this. This feels like a chance in a lifetime, and I am not going to ruin it,” he assured me.
“I have a good feeling about this too,” I admitted softly.
For the next month he was still in Ghana; we met several times and got to know each other. He was funny, open and very transparent with me about every aspect of his life. When he returned to the UK, we continued to chat and build a solid friendship. Sometimes, his best friend Cole would be around, and I would chat with him as well. Brempong had spoken to Bella over the phone while he was still around. Finally, after three more weeks, it was also time for me to return to the UK. Brempong and Cole picked me up from the airport, and we met up with Bella at our favourite restaurant. The four of us had a great time, and I had never been happier. Brempong and I smiled like proud parents when we saw Bella and Cole hitting it off.
So for the next few months, it continued. Brempong and I went out more while we got to know each other, and so did Bella and Cole. Many times, all four of us hang out. It was perfect.
One day, as the four of us were lounging in the apartment Bella and I shared, Cole suddenly looked at me and said, “You know you guys can’t ever break up, right? Please be in love forever.”
I laughed. “That’s the plan. But I should be telling you that. You men are known for not being able to stay good in relationships.”
“Not us,” Brempong said, looking at Cole. “We know what we want, and we’re in this for the long haul.”
Cole smiled and agreed. “Exactly. This is what I want, and all of us like this – one big family. It’s perfect.”
A year after we met, the love of my love proposed to me, and Brempong and I began to plan our wedding. Our mothers were beyond thrilled and super proud of their matchmaking skills. While we were planning our wedding, Cole also proposed. Everything was perfect. He would be Brempong’s best man, and Bella would be my maid of honour, and we would swap positions in a few month’s time for their wedding.
The traditional wedding was beautiful. We had opted for that: a court signing and then a dinner. And when it was over, the four of us went to the honeymoon together on a small island where nobody knew us, where I could be with Bella and Brempong could be with Cole. And later, when Bella and Cole got married, it would be the same. We would both have two honeymoons where we could take pictures with our expected partners to share with our families while enjoying the company of the one we were actually in love with. On paper, we may be married to our friends, but we each knew who proposed to whom and who we were actually married to.
Our mothers were proud of their matchmaking, but they had no idea how perfect the arrangement they had given us was. Because we both recognised the gayness in each other when we first met and saw a golden opportunity to be able to satisfy our families and still be with the love of our lives. We already lived just next door to each other. “Two straight couples,” people thought. Unless they noticed Bella and I in one apartment most nights and Cole and Brempong in the other. We knew that things might get more complicated when kids came into the picture, but we planned to hold it off as long as possible. For now, we would just enjoy the benefits of an incredibly perfect match.
