Hello Lovely People! Today I’ve decided to wade into the controversial waters of gay/ lesbian rights. Most Africans are ‘allegedly’ conservative and so it appears that the farther a person strays from vanilla sex (vanilla sex meaning: straight, conservative sex, missionary position preferred, both parties polite and maybe a tad bit shy about the act itself), the more condemned you would be by African society. So, it is no surprise that most Africans don’t even want to hear the word ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’. Indeed, in some African countries I could probably be lynched for writing this article. My friends and co-workers are so appalled whenever I raise this topic of gay/ lesbians in Ghana. Today, one of them said that gays are the reason why all this violence is going on in Ghana (that is: God is punishing us like Sodom). Another said that gays/ lesbians are disgusting and she can’t imagine these depraved lunatics luring children into such depravity and spreading HIV. Both people went to single sex schools and lived in compound houses so I asked them that in Ghana most children, teens have experimented in gay/ lesbian sex with someone from their boarding house or some relative at home and so why are Ghanaians so anti-gays/ lesbians? They said “Ah, but that was when we were kids and didn’t know better”.
Last year, gay/ lesbian rights was hotly debated in Ghana (throughout and Africa) with some countries making it a crime to either be gay/ lesbian or support gays or lesbians in any form. In Ghana, the climax of the debate appears to have been when the Prime Minister of the UK released a statement that his country would reconsider granting financial aid to countries that abuse gay rights. Lots of Africans were outraged and in Ghana, the President came out to say that aid or no aid, Ghana would NEVER EVER legalize homosexuality. Full stop! Most people thought the debate died down there because Ghanaian lawyers and human rights activists became dead silent on this issue after Mr. President (or should it be Prof. PresidentJ) spoke. Then suddenly, this year, some lesbians were attacked in James Town for holding a wedding ceremony. A retired Judge went to the Supreme Court asking for a declaration on this gay rights issue (the case is still pending) and now it seems that the debates have started afresh.
I think the issue of gay/ lesbian rights is a ‘controversial’ issue that has come to stay and it won’t hide under the carpet where some people want to sweep it. Therefore, I am conducting a research into gay and lesbian rights in Ghana in conjunction with an international NGO (I cannot disclose its identity for confidentiality and ethical reasons). I want to hear your thoughts: What do you think? Should gay/ lesbians have any rights at all? Have you ever touched a member of the same sex sexually? (kissing, fondling, stroking, sex all inclusive!) Are you a gay/ lesbian living in Africa (especially Ghana)? When did you know you’re gay? Are you sexually active? Do you find condoms and genital dams readily accessible? When or if you get a genital infection like yeast, VD, etc. can you easily access healthcare? Do people know you’re gay? Does your family know you’re gay? How are they treating you? Are you under pressure to date/ marry the opposite sex? Would you like to marry your gay/ lesbian lover? Are you a Christian, Muslim, traditionalist? How do you reconcile your sexual orientation with your faith? Share your experiences!
If you are a member of Ghana’s LGBTIQ community and would like to participate in this research confidentially please email me via ekubabentil[at]gmail.com
38 comments On Guest Contributor Ekuba: Gay/Lesbian in Ghana?
I remember when the Ghanian president announced that and I SUPPORTED him on the stance that, Ghana should not legalize based on BULLYING tactics from the West. It should legalize based on our thinking capacities. To hell with their foreign aid. Read, Dambisa Moyo’s, “Dead Aid: Why Aid is Not Working and How There is a Better Way For Africa”
I am not in Ghana, neither am I Ghanian, however I do think that my voice is also necessary, as this cross cuts across the whole continent.
What do you think? Should gay/ lesbians have any rights at all?
I am pro-homosexuality and legalization of gay rights and marriage. Yes, I am a Christian. Gays and lesbians are HUMANS first before anything else, so yes they should have rights-more so, not because it is their fundamental rights as human beings, BUT to protect them against inhumanity and injustices taken out against them, especially in the motherland.
Have you ever touched a member of the same sex sexually? (kissing, fondling, stroking, sex all inclusive!)
No.
Are you a gay/ lesbian living in Africa (especially Ghana)?
No. This question should be framed as, are you gay not “a gay”. To mean that one’s sexual orientation defines their existence, which of course is not the case.
When did you know you’re gay?
N/A
Are you sexually active?
Too personal. No comment.
Do you find condoms and genital dams readily accessible?
Condoms, yes. Genital dams-no. Folks need to be educated on the latter, especially on the usage of them.
When or if you get a genital infection like yeast, VD, etc. can you easily access healthcare?
Yes, but the medics are too damn judgmental. Instead of making you comfortable and at ease, you feel like a Jezebel.
Do people know you’re gay?
N/A. If I was, yes-they would know. I wouldn’t hide it.
Does your family know you’re gay?
N//A. If I were they would know, I am not going to run away from whom I am.
How are they treating you?
N/A. If it were the case, momsie would have definitely taken me to a traditional preacher, that wears-sack clothes! She would have also gone on a dry 40 day fast to plead with God in my case, and that would drive me more into insanity! I’m already insane as is.
Are you under pressure to date/ marry the opposite sex?
Pressure from whom, I live my life the way I deem fit.
Would you like to marry your gay/ lesbian lover?
N/A.
Are you a Christian, Muslim, traditionalist?
Christian
How do you reconcile your sexual orientation with your faith?
N/A. I wouldn’t really care. It is what it is. I’d just respect God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.#the end.
wow! African Mami, so cool! thx for taking my questions out bit by bit and answering them like that. really comprehensive. very interesting how you make the distinction btwn supporting gay rights but agreeing with Ghana’s prez on not being ‘bullied’ to legalize homosexuality. thousand kisses
I think that to each their own. Generally, I am very against gov’ts determining morality. I really think that there are much more important issues to worry about than concentrate on Ama and adjoa being in love or having sex. Frankly when our dear African gov’ts are able to keep their hands out of our kitty and provide basic services, I would consider allowing them to hv an opinion on what going on in gardens or porches. In any case, I would never allow them to have an opinion on what consenting adults do.
Babyjet, you make a very solid argument. But on your point that you dont think African governments should have an opinion on what 2 consenting adults do (eg: homosexuality): some people argue that all over the world governments have an opinion on what consenting adults do eg: in the western world, polygamy is illegal and that’s btwn consenting adults. or some countries outlaw the use of marijuana by a person or prevent a person from killing himself when he wants to and it’s also illegal for consenting persons to engage in certain sado-masochistic (S & M) sexual acts or prostitution. so the argument is do you believe that all these things i’ve mentioned should also be legalized since they’re done by consenting people? or if you dont doesnt it weaken your argument?
Hahaha @ African mami, sorry i didnt comment earlier but was just reading over all the comments and i noticed that in answer to my question ” are you sexually active” you said no comment, it’s personal! that’s just cracking me up 🙂
Thanks Ekuba, I just don’t support gov’t interventions in morally. I think it is an overreach and overbearing for the state to determine the configuration of people’s relationships or morality. So polygamy/polyandry should of course be legal. It’s all about personal responsibility. With regard to your point on marijuana and euthanasia, you could argue that euthanasia involve assault or grievous bodily harm so there must be a role for the state. On joints, I take the same approach as cigarettes, by all means smoke but don’t expect me to put up with it or pay for your treatment. Prostitution should, of course, be legal. How long has prostitution been around and how successful has any state been in stopping it? Legalize and then deal with the exploitation elements, health issues etc, in there. Well, on S&M, whatever floats your boat, insofar as, it doesn’t lead to death, serious injury, permanent disability or any criminal damage.
I think Cameron sort of put his foot in it by making that declaration I mean most people are already antagonistic towards the West so by making it punitive in terms of funding, it would feel like any acquiescence the African govts make is out of fear not cause of intelligent thinking and you know Africans get plenty plenty pride (at the worst of times)
Should gay/ lesbians have any rights at all?
Yes they should. Why shouldn’t they? If being heterosexual is not life defining why should homosexuality be? Does it stop you from contributing positively to the society? No. so why shouldnt the society protect and support your right.
Have you ever touched a member of the same sex sexually? (kissing, fondling, stroking, sex all inclusive!)
No.
Are you a gay/ lesbian living in Africa (especially Ghana)?
No.
Are you sexually active?
Too personal. No comment.
Do you find condoms and genital dams readily accessible?
Condoms, yes. Genital dams-no. I have never seen it beyond the offices of NGOs
When or if you get a genital infection like yeast, VD, etc. can you easily access healthcare?
Yes, but it comes with pointed questions and judgmental comments even from family.
Do people know you’re gay?
N/A. But i doubt if i would let anyone know. Scared of negative reactions.
Does your family know you’re gay?
N//A. If I were, Never. Infact i’d probabyl marry a man and pretend everything is alright while i proceed to make some poor man miserable.
How are they treating you?
N/A. I’ll be disowned outright that’s if my mom survives the heart failure.
Are you under pressure to date/ marry the opposite sex?
Not really. I dont stay close enough to receive anything more than hints.
Would you like to marry your gay/ lesbian lover?
N/A. I would want some kinda official commitment but i am traditional enough to know that i shouldnt ask it of a church
Are you a Christian, Muslim, traditionalist?
Christian
How do you reconcile your sexual orientation with your faith?
N/A. I do recognise that it will present a lifelong battle.
that’s really comprehensive Ginger! thanks for carefully filling out the form. Eii, as for you and African Mami and your sexual status that ‘s ‘tooo personal to comment on’! i’ll turn into a fly and come and sit on your walls and spy on all the ‘personal’ things you’ve been doing/ or not doing lol ! 🙂
@ Ekuba
My home is ALWAYS welcome to guests even flies on the wall! Make yourself comfortable.
Should gay/ lesbians have any rights at all?
yes for sure, they are part of the society.
Have you ever touched a member of the same sex sexually? (kissing, fondling, stroking, sex all inclusive!)
nope and i never will.
Are you a gay/ lesbian living in Africa (especially Ghana)?
nope, i live in the Netherlands and have seen how it works because i have neighbors who are gay.
When did you know you’re gay?
have never been and will never be.
Are you sexually active?
at 59 and married i am not yet off road.
Do you find condoms and genital dams readily accessible?
luckily, i do not need one since my wife is 57.
When or if you get a genital infection like yeast, VD, etc. can you easily access healthcare?
never had one but i know the healthcare here is really good.
Do people know you’re gay?
how will they know when i am not one?
Does your family know you’re gay?
how will they know when i am not one?
How are they treating you?
thank God i am not gay.
Are you under pressure to date/ marry the opposite sex?
have always love the opposite sex and will do till death.
Would you like to marry your gay/ lesbian lover?
will never have one.
Are you a Christian, Muslim, traditionalist?
i am a Christian.
How do you reconcile your sexual orientation with your faith?
i have no issues
Share your experiences!
i have 6 children with 5 women and have been a one woman man for the last 18 years since i married 21 years ago.
Ewiase thank you so much for carefully answering all my questions. Eii but you have had an interesting life oh! 6 kids with 5 women! i think you should write a book about your exciting life sometime. what do you think? lol 🙂
i think that it is arrogance for any person to think that they could stop consenting adults from doing what they like(prefer) while NOT hurting anyone, just because they dont like it or approve.
do u tgink gays/lesbians have any rights?
Yes.
have u ever touched a member of the same sex sexually?
does it count if u were 7/8yrs old? if it does, then yes.
Are u gay/lesbian living in africa?
no(but i like to make people think i’m gay to see their reactions)
when did u know u were gay?
i’m not..
Are u sexually active?
yes, but i’m considering going celibate for a bit..
Do u find condoms and genital dams readily available?
condoms, yes. the other, no. in my 26yrs of life, i have only read and written about those… never seen em.
when/if u get genital infections like yeast, vd,etc. do u easily access health care?
yes, but there is always the judgment of some health care givers, to be faced.
Do people know u r gay?
i’m not. but i have created doubt in many a mind. hehe
Does your family know u’re gay?
they know i’m not.
how are they treating u?
well if i was and they knew? i’m not sure of how they would react exactly, i just know it won’t b good.
Are you under any pressure to date and marry a member of the opposit sex?
Not yet… but it’s gonna come…
Would u narry your gay/lesvian lover?
like someone said above, i also would want a commitment, but i won’t expect it from a church or any institution i know won’t approve
Are u a christian, muslim, traditionalis, etc?
Christian
how do u reconcile ur sexual orientation to ur faith?
hmmm if i was gay, it definately won’t b a walk in the park. Even as a hetero person, there is still the issue of pre marital sex… reconciling faith to sexual orietation in my opinion takes a lot of conviction and sacrifice.
P.S
pls try to ignore my typos. this was and is being typed in a hurry…
@ Ozohu: thanks for answering the questions so succintly! omg i also had that lesbian encounter when i was 7/8-ish so we have something in common. i’m not sure if it counts tho w@…
Question to All: So far, no one who has commented here has said that they think homosexuality should be criminalized and gays/ lesbians should have no rights… so how come more of us are not openly/ publicly supporting gay rights in our countries? (i’m guilty of this too)
@ Ekuba
I am very PUBLIC about my support, but as far as joining organizations to press forward their issues, I am not involved. Why?! Because, I have other rights of priority to ME, that I champion, and I cannot be any and everywhere! I’m a firm believer in finding a niche and sticking to it. Rather than being haphazard about these matters. There are many people who believe in the inequality and injustices of women, but you won’t find them front and center advocating for women’s rights. Same thing here.
hmm African Mami interesting point there
Should gay/ lesbians have any rights at all? Yes. Should straight folks have any rights at all?
Have you ever touched a member of the same sex sexually? (kissing, fondling, stroking, sex all inclusive!) Yes
Are you a gay/ lesbian living in Africa (especially Ghana)? I’m queer and I’m here, in Ghana 😉
When did you know you’re gay? Heh? I hindsight I think I have always been attracted to women, but I didn’t know there was a cute little label for that until say, a few years ago.
Are you sexually active?
Yes, could be more active though: D
Do you find condoms and genital dams readily accessible? Condoms yes. Genital dams, ask for it and the guy behind the counter goes “heh?” So I have stopped asking.
When or if you get a genital infection like yeast, VD, etc. can you easily access healthcare? Yep.
Do people know you’re gay? Close friends know.
Does your family know you’re gay? Nooooooooooo
How are they treating you? Who? Family? Oh they love my straight ass. 😉
Are you under pressure to date/ marry the opposite sex? Nope! I am under pressure to learn to cook.
Would you like to marry your gay/ lesbian lover? Yes yes yes!
Are you a Christian, Muslim, traditionalist? I am me! Love is my religion.
How do you reconcile your sexual orientation with your faith? No need for reconciliation, I love and is loved, period.
omg 😉 can i start by saying that i LOVE you but i LOVE your name even more 🙂 lol! thanks for postin on this page and coming out boldly to say that you’re queer. and the ‘i love and is loved’ phrase is real cool. i heard it for the first time yesterday (in anderson cooper’s statement when he came out) ookay so more questions questions questions! are your close friends acceptin of your sexual orientation? have you ever had discriminatory comments posed at you from anyone? besides your friends does anyone know ie: are you openly queer (and hide it from your family only?) since there is a lot of gay-bashing in ghana lately and lesbians have actually bn attacked does it make you fear for your safety? how are you able to meet up with other queers (ie do you hv to hide, or get safe meeting places). pardon my ignorance ok (i know i sound real stupid with some of my questions lol) but i need a lot of education and i’m sure you can give it to me 🙂 if it won’t be toooo much of a bother to you, i’d love love love it if you could drop me a line at ekubabentil@gmail.com. i’d be so grateful! (in other words, pretty pleaaase)
Marry me @Ozohu
hey! how come when i typed out 😉 it became :)? i meant to say that i LOVE your name 😉 even more. hope it comes out better this time!
ok i give up (pardon me Nana D, i’m not clowning on your website!) i wanted to type out the name ” ; )” since it’s the name of the person who commented just b4 i did. but whenever i type it, it comes out as a smiley face! anyway nuff said. i’m sure y’all think i’m crazy with all these crazy smiley faces i’m typing today.. lol
Ozauhu! gotdamn!!!! That avi of yours! Cheiiiiiii. CRUSHING on it hard! VERY SEGGGGAZY!!
Ok bob. LoL.
@ African mami, i blushes =D
lol @Ekuba, you are cute. yes please I’ll answer your questions wai. gimme a few secs, okay? I have work overload now.
@ 🙂
HI 5 MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!! Living your life I see, and going against societal grain! mmmmmh HALLLELUJAH!!!!
To think that I ignored this blog for 3 years straight, CHEIIIIIII!!!! NANA. As I’ve told you on many an occassion, this site is EVERYTHANG for an Afrikan girl.
Should gay/ lesbians have any rights at all? Well of course, as long as they do it indoors and not in my face.
Have you ever touched a member of the same sex sexually? (kissing, fondling, stroking, sex all inclusive!) Well when i was abt 8yrs and it was more of me being touched than me doign the touching..does it even count?
Are you a gay/ lesbian living in Africa (especially Ghana)? No
When did you know you’re gay? N/A
Are you sexually active? Yep, a sexually active married woman..
Do you find condoms and genital dams readily accessible? Condoms yes! Genital Dams… never heard of them
When or if you get a genital infection like yeast, VD, etc. can you easily access healthcare? I’ve never had them, at least not that i’m aware of…
Do people know you’re gay? n/a
Does your family know you’re gay? N/A
How are they treating you? My mum would have solicited the help of the Pastors n church elders to assist her in my deliverance…
Are you under pressure to date/ marry the opposite sex? Well i already married one
Would you like to marry your gay/ lesbian lover? Hmm if i was gay n in love who knows?
Are you a Christian, Muslim, traditionalist? Christian
How do you reconcile your sexual orientation with your faith? I guess they automatically reconciled..
Well done Nana Akosua!
@ ; ), ei, the few hours i gave you has bcome days o! when o when will you answer my questions for me? 🙂
@African Mami 🙂 hi 5 back!!!
@Ekuba Oh I’m sorry Ms. 🙁 I’m here now. I thought I was super woman for a sec. stayed up 48hrs to work and afterward I was just too tired to even say my name. lol don’t see the boldness in an anonymous internet post, but yeah I like to think I am generally a bold person. If I tell my family about my sexuality p3, you guys would have to make it official, #sexyboldandintrouble! Yeah “I love and is loved” quite sums it up, doesn’t it? It was first used by some writer, sad I don’t remember their name or the book now.
Ok, ok, I’ll answer your questions now. well, I have friends who are accepting of my sexuality and that is a blessing, cos I am able to talk about my feelings and shit to people who care about me, you know? I must add however that I think I tell people about sexuality, not necessarily to be accepted? I often tell people who are open minded and cool, you know? Folk you can have progressive discussion with. And the other group is people, who do not affect my life in any way, I’ll probably talk about my sexuality to make and point and I don’t a fucking care what they make of it. I avoid people who might have any connection with my family. In the end, I guess, the only kind of rejection I truly fear is one that may come from my family. I won’t be able to handle it. My family remains a large chunk of my emotional support system. So, what they think matter big time! I am however totally grateful for my open minded friends.
Discriminatory comments? Not really, cos most of the folks who know are cool. But yeah, on a kokonsa level, people make up stuff that should only be laughed at.
I kissed my girl (now ex) at a bus stop once, it was late, we were gonna but recharge cards but the lady had closed. We thought no one was there. With her back facing the bus stop, I saw some guy, looking so shocked when he saw as kissing. He started walking towards us. I was fucking scared, we both were. You know that creepy warm sensation that gets under your skin, when you are scared as shit, yeah, we got that. I was particularly afraid that something bad would happen to my girl. So, we quickly walked away. The guy stopped following at a point. I think he wanted to make sure it was two girls he had seen. When we got to safety we laughed our fears off and started this whole discussion on how you can’t even be fully fucking spontaneous in a place like Ghana. If I were kissing a guy, I wouldn’t have been afraid, regardless of how inappropriate it may be as per Ghanaian ‘cultural’ standards.
How am I able to meet other queer folks? Charley, e hard oo. I don’t know, it’s hard. My last Ghanaian Girlfriend I met through a mutual friend. I had told him to find me a girl jokingly. Thankfully he took me seriously! Lol
Other times, I just hit on someone or get hit on. We get talking etc etc. But generally it’s hard. I have tried the internet thing, hasn’t worked for me!!! Mostly confused, dim witted girls who want to “chop your money” so to speak. They see you the first time and the next day they are in love with you. Then they ask for money, credit etc. Here is my one good internet story: I met this girl on the internet, she already knew me in real life. I don’t know who she is. We’ve been talking on phone for over two years now, I haven’t seen her before. I am not interested in her sexually, though she meets the criteria, she is intelligent, has a job, can hold a conversation, is fun etc. She thinks she is a dude, and I want to date women. We are like buddies now.
Ok Ms Ekuba :), I think have answered all your questions and rambled on for a little too long. We cool?
wow, Ms. : ), i’m happy your posting was a little long, cos it was really comprehensive! wow, it’s interesting the experience you shared while recharging your cards. wow, i’ve heard abt ppl coming on gay/ lesbian dating sites in ghana and posing to be gay/ lesbian then later blackmailing their ‘lovers’ or extorting monies from them. it’s crazy! and i thought it was difficult to find a man in accra, i should just try being lesbian eh? very interesting and informing comments you make, cheers!
@Ekuba don’t call me Ms, that’s my line. 😛 lol
@ ; ): you naughty little elf! lol
@ Ekuba 🙂
@ 😉 I really enjoyed reading your posts..I hope and wish we could be friends!!..if u are cool with dat then hit me up on riyadunevafuccwimi@yahoo.com..hope to hear 4rm u soon so we can xchange contacts and hopefully speak on phone?
@Chocolate 😀 sure thing! we could be friends…. 😉
One of the reasons I think people find homosexuality a taboo is because of the misconception or belief that the main purpose of sex is reproduction. Also there is scientific documentation of homosexuality in the animal kingdom so those who say homosexuality is against nature are wrong.
Should gay/ lesbians have any rights at all?
Yes
Have you ever touched a member of the same sex sexually? (kissing, fondling, stroking, sex all inclusive!)
Yes
Are you a gay/ lesbian living in Africa (especially Ghana)?
No. Though I passed through a Bi-curious phase some time back
Are you sexually active?
Yes
Do you find condoms and genital dams readily accessible?
Condoms yes, genital dams no
When or if you get a genital infection like yeast, VD, etc. can you easily access healthcare?
Yes, thankfully haven’t had any
Do people know you’re gay?
I’m not but only one of my friends knew bout my bi-curious phase
Does your family know you’re gay?
N/A
How are they treating you?
N/A
Are you under pressure to date/ marry the opposite sex?
No need for pressure i love the opposite sex
Would you like to marry your gay/ lesbian lover?
N/A
Are you a Christian, Muslim, traditionalist?
Monotheist
How do you reconcile your sexual orientation with your faith?
I believe in love
Simply Selorm, that’s just fab! thanks for filling out my form, very interesting info you gave there! Kisses
i come from ghana and i am lesbian,i have be looking for someone to be with but is heard to have one because they think being a lesbian you are not part of human and after reading this i think i have hope and please you have to help as because i need someone
Hi Florence, I’m just seeing this because I’ve not been here for a while. I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling that you’re not human. You’re very precious and should not be feeling that way at all. Unfortunately, most people in our society are very judgmental towards gays and lesbians and that must be part of the reason why you’ve been feeling so awful. Don’t worry ok! There are brighter days ahead and you can send an email to ekubabentil@gmail.com whenever you feel like you want to talk about all this. Take care