Slut-shaming is one of the most effective tools that society uses to take away women’s power when it comes to sexual pleasure. In today’s society, it is very easy to earn the insult “slut” or “whore”, terms that are used to shame and judge women based on their sexual behaviour or appearance. The pressure to conform to society’s narrow standards of femininity can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and depression. To avoid being slut-shamed, many women subdue their sexuality and desires, giving away their power for some “peace of mind”.
The Origins and History of slut-shaming
Slut-shaming has a long history dating back to ancient times. In many cultures, women were expected to be chaste and virtuous, and any woman who showed outward signs of sexual desire was harshly punished. Even married women were expected to view sex as a duty to be endured and not enjoyed. Some men would go to the extent of calling their wives sluts and other derogatory names if they showed signs of desire or enjoyment for sex.
It is therefore not surprising that to further crush women’s desire, Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) – where part or all of the external female genitalia of young girls are removed to control their sexual promiscuity – became a practice. In some societies, women who were accused of adultery or promiscuity were publicly shamed, beaten, or even stoned to death. This practice and FGM still happen in many parts of the world today, especially in patriarchal societies where women have limited rights.
In Western countries, slut-shaming has taken on different forms throughout history. Women who wore revealing clothing or engaged in premarital sex were labelled as “fallen women” and ostracised from society in the 19th century. In the 20th century, a shift in mentality on traditional gender roles and attitudes toward women and sexuality began after the rise of feminism and women’s liberation movements. However, slut-shaming persists today, especially in conservative circles.
How do slut-shaming and misogyny intersect?
Essentially, slut-shaming is a form of misogyny or hatred and discrimination against women. That is why men are not shamed for the same actions that women are shamed for. Women who are labelled as “sluts” or “whores” are frequently reduced to their alleged sexual behaviour and dehumanised, supporting the notion that unlike men, a woman’s value is established by her sexual purity rather than by her intelligence, skills, or achievements. As a result, women who are successful in their fields are often accused of exchanging sexual favours for advancement. This is because misogynists cannot fathom that women can be as good at their jobs as men, or be capable of reaching the same heights without using their bodies as a bargaining chip.
Why is it important to fight against slut-shaming?
Women who are slut-shamed often experience emotions of guilt, lack of confidence, and low self-worth, which can cause depression and in worst cases, even suicide.
In Africa, a woman can be slut-shamed and ostracised simply for being a single mother, while the irresponsible father of the child goes about his merry way without being shamed or condemned. Women who find the strength to leave abusive relationships are often judged, shamed, and treated like pariahs. The fear and stigma of being slut-shamed for being single mothers force many women to stay in abusive relationships, inadvertently putting their lives and that of their children at risk.
As advocates and women, it is also important for us to fight against the culture of slut-shaming because not only can it affect both the mental and physical health of victims but it is often used to justify gender-based violence and discrimination.
When women are blamed for being victimised, it becomes easier to disregard the systematic issues that lead to gender-based violence. This fosters the perception that women are responsible for their harassment or assault and feeds the cycle of victim-blaming.
Why is slut-shaming a barrier to women’s pleasure?
At its core, slut-shaming is a tool used to control women’s behaviour and limit our autonomy over our bodies and sexuality. Many women are forced to hide their desires, settle for mediocre sexual relationships, or none at all, for fear of being ostracised and judged. Shaming women for having sexual desires or enjoying sex is a ploy (whether intended or unintended) to take away our sexual power and shame us into conforming to patriarchal standards of purity for women.
What can we do about it?
Slut-shaming has become a source of banter in some circles, but we must realise that it is a type of gender-based violence with far-reaching effects for women and society as a whole.
As women, when we partake in shaming other women for their perceived sexual promiscuity, we become complicit in taking away their power and perpetuating a cycle of victim-blaming. Instead, we need to make a conscious effort to shed our own unconscious biases on sexual purity and fight slut-shaming by speaking up against harmful sexual stereotypes and condemning demeaning jokes against women. In addition, by promoting sex-positive attitudes and behaviours and by supporting victims of such harmful discrimination, we can work toward creating a society where everyone is valued and respected, regardless of their perceived sexual behaviour or choices.
