Last Saturday I was invited to be a guest commentator on Joy Fm’s “Home Affairs” programme, hosted by Araba Koomson. The topic was “why do people use sex as a tool in marriage?”
One of my opening gambits was that for the majority of women, sex is not enjoyable; research such as that documented in the Shere Hite Report has indicated that 70% of women generally do not orgasm during sex. If you follow that logic this means a lot of women are having sex purely to please their husbands/partners/lovers so if for any reason your husband/partner/lover upsets you then your reaction is “No sex, until you have done x, y, or z”. If women were …

A few weeks ago one of my oldest friends accused me of being “anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children”, I was shocked. “Me?” I responded, “Where did you get that impression from?” “It’s true” she said, if you like ask “Koshie* ”. What? My friends were discussing me and had come to the conclusion that I am anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children?
“Well, I know you and I know deep down you are not anti-marriage, anti-relationship and anti-children” my friend conceded. I asked Koshie and she agreed with Aminata’s* original view, and vigorously defended their position.
So for the record I would like to clarify my position on marriage, relationships and children.
Yes, I am fairly cynical …

Lately I’ve been experiencing miscommunication. My mind and my body are tuned into different channels. I’ve made up my mind that I do not want a relationship. I’ve just left one. It’s been painful and heartbreaking, and I’m not ready to open myself up to someone else right now or in the immediate future. But my body is craving the attention of a man. It wants to be made love to, to feel the pleasure of having someone close to it through the night. The solution? Get a bed buddy. Now regulars to this blog know that Nana is all in favour of the buddy system, but a newbie such as me is not so …

My dream man will be a feminist. This means he loves women completely and utterly. He has not bought into narrow minded definitions of “womanhood” and thinks a good woman wakes up at 4am to make Koko for him.
My dream man is confident, he doesn’t need me to make less money than he does or to be less educated than he is…he wants me to be the best that I can be.
My dream man is supportive of my dreams and has dreams of his own too. In fact he not only has dreams, he is well on his way to achieving them.
What would your dream man or dream woman be like?

This post is for Miss Anonymous who wanted me to blog on long distance relationships
I have to be honest. I do not get long distance relationships. Seriously, what is the point? Someone please tell me…I am obviously missing something here.
To my mind, the advantage of being in a relationship is in order to have companionship and good sex with a person with whom I share common interests. I know, I don’t ask for much do I? I recognise though that there are so many more advantages in being in a relationship. There is social status, recognition, security, a recognised union in which to have children, synergy, more money…is there anything else you would add to …

Perhaps I am biased, but I believe that African women have the best child rearing skills on the planet. Period.
There is so much unrecognized and under-appreciated wisdom that our women employ in the running of their households. It starts with compartmentalizing relationships. In Africa, children are children; elders are elders and husbands husbands. On the rare occasion, one may cross into the realm of “friend”, but for the most part, children in African society are not thought of as their mother’s friend until they are MUCH older. The thought that you are not your child’s friend is shocking, almost a dirty sin, in the West and I am ashamed to say that I have forsaken …

“You shouldn’t have a problem” says a fairly new male acquaintance to me, “Where were you like a year ago?” We have been talking about relationships and sex…his assumption is that I’m an attractive woman and so should not be single. The comment about where I was a year ago is referring to his new status as a father and a fiancé hence no longer an eligible man. “That’s the thing”, I respond, “All the men I meet are either married or younger”…okay I can hear what some of you are thinking, “What is wrong with dating a younger man”. Hmmm, where shall I start from?
1. Men have issues …

Are there double standards around men and women’s sexualities? How true is this in Ghana and Africa? Why do men cheat? Why do women cheat? How does society respond when a man cheats? How is this response different when a woman cheats? Just a few of the questions I have posed on my fellow blogger’s Ms Cleland’s site at http://maameous.blogspot.com/
Let me know your thoughts

How soon shall I tell a guy (who is interested in me) that I blog about sex and sexuality?
Sometimes the subject of blogging never comes up at all yet there have been three occasions where people have come up to me and either said “I love your blog“, are you the same “Nana Darkoa who writes Adventures” or “I found your blog through google“.
One of my fellow bloggers (male) told me some time ago that I should’t tell a guy I have just met that I blog about sex. I think his concern was that I might get a stalker… @fellow male blogger, correct me if I am wrong.
I find that I often tell African …

Arguably, one could say that many relationships are determined by that first kiss. I am of the opinion that a kiss, like a person’s eyes, is a window into that person’s soul. How does your man approach his kiss with you? Is he intense, shy, forceful? How you kiss and are being kissed says a lot about you and the object of your desire…or in the case, your repulsion.
I want to share a ghastly experience that haunts me to this day. Ironically, said ghastly experience brings a deep chuckle to my good friend (and co-blogger) Nana, whenever we have occasion to bring it up.
In our secondary school years (back in 1996 when light skinned or …