Written by Yaa Owusua
I think, as a collective and as women, we can all agree that men in this era are… different. With the rise of incel culture, casual misogyny (although that never really went away), as well as the “male loneliness epidemic,”–which is really just men refusing to take accountability and look inward as a solution for realizing why they’re still single, and instead blaming it on women–men are morphing into something. That’s the only word I can use to describe it, because what they are now is an accumulation of what the patriarchy will do to its very soldiers, which it never really cared to aid.
Throughout this article, I will be using the word men, notwithstanding the obvious good men around. Most women have good men in their lives, whether it’s a few or just one, but this doesn’t give leeway to the clear majority of men who do have this modern mentality. Right now, men are in this headspace and atmosphere where they’re being confronted by women more openly and unapologetically, creating this worsening culture around the hatred for women. The girls are out here just trying to get equal rights FOR REAL this time, and men are complaining and reacting with this toxic behaviour, all while we’re trying to make them realize that the patriarchy is out to get them too, and all things in between. Now, technically, most of these guys are more romantically compatible with their friends than with women and just don’t know how to feel their truths, but that’s another conversation for another day.
“I don’t think I can be monogamous with you.”
Sir, what? As soon as I read what Megan posted on her story, just like many others, I was gagged. Hello, we thought ya’ll were locked in together forever, what happened? There are two distinctions we need to make as fans and bystanders in this situation before we delve a little deeper, however. One is that at the end of the day, we as outsiders never really know what happens in these celebrity relationships. On the internet, there is this culture among everybody where we only show the best of the best of ourselves, where we’re going, eating, and dating. Nothing more, nothing less, and this culture is especially strong among celebrities. No matter how happy Megan looked in those pictures and videos, we never really knew how he was treating her at home. The other point is the fact that even though I love Megan down, I have no idea how she ends up choosing these guys, and I’m getting concerned. Because, before right, with her mental health and the mere fact that people evolve mentally at different times, she chose some interesting people to be with.
But my question for these celebrities is, do y’all not do a background check when you’re about to date another celebrity? Because this man, Klay, also cheated and fumbled a few other beautiful Black women, including COCO JONES? However, at the same time, it’s important to mention that when it comes to dating straight men, they will lie. Some men will lie for months and even years just to reach a certain status/point and get with certain women, just to then crush them for the sake of their weak ego. The fact that he dated Coco Jones and still cheated, he dated Megan Thee Stallion and still cheated, etc–the fingers only point to him. He was the issue. The straight men who lie are the issue! I have even met multiple straight men at my job at the gym, for example, who will flirt with me, lie on my name, and then talk crap about me to other men when I don’t give them their way. This doesn’t only exist in the dating sphere, it’s everyday life for women!
When you see this man’s roster of baddies he’s fumbled, probably on purpose, there is an obvious fact sticking out: Insecurity. In order to cheat on a woman as willing to love like Megan Thee Stallion, not just the beauty that she and these other women possess – being what makes this ridiculous – there is no other word but insecurity. Men like him will get with successful women, in this case, Black women all around, love bomb, then cheat just to get into that woman’s head. Because the notion of a woman being more successful than a man is a threat to many. It’s a symbol in the straight male community to be able to not only bag a baddie but to still have access to multiple women, and then cheat on said baddie. It’s “cool” to hurt women when it comes to toxic masculinity and misogyny. It’s a flex to the homies; that’s all I see it as. And quite frankly, it shows that men act in the interest of other men more than themselves or the women that they are in a relationship with. It’s like a dopamine rush to see a woman who worked so hard to get to where she is, have her heart in your hands, and crush it just because you have the power to. Then, when you’re caught, you say something stupid like “Guhh, I can’t be monogamous or something.”
This is a big L for the light skins once again, but also an L for men in general, and it kind of made me side eye them for a week, despite me not even being in a relationship. Because themes like this have so much intersectionality in the real world, this isn’t just celebrity drama. If we’re looking at, for instance, the culture around Black men in the Black community right now would be a good example. The reaction that Black men have had to this whole relationship, from beginning to end, is so disgusting, as well as the memes that they have created against Megan. The fact that Black men have this weird narrative against Megan Thee Stallion, how they were getting on Klay for dating her in the first place, but then hyping him up and bouncing crazy style on it once they broke up, just explains the relationship the modern Black man has with the modern Black woman in our community. Black women can’t even turn to Black men anymore without ridicule. We’re too nappy headed, too masculine, too loud and ghetto, too dark skinned, too whatever. And doesn’t that sound very, very familiar?
We are going backwards, and frankly, the only way to stop this is first through acknowledgement from every party, not just feminists and women. Women, whether cis or transgender, are getting killed, abused, and mistreated every day STILL. We have yet to reach an equilibrium in society between all genders, and that is only because our society isn’t built for that equilibrium. It’s meant to work this way; it’s meant to keep women and People Of Colour at the bottom. This is what comes with patriarchy. The system is operating as it was designed to, but we need to work against it. This story isn’t just about love, ego, and cheating, and we as a collective need to create the capacity to understand that. Everything has intersectionality, which is why Megan deserves a good man, and so do you.
